Embracing Me

Happy Tuesday everyone,

How are you all doing? I feel so bad that I’ve allowed so much time to go by without blogging. It’s crazy how time just disappears when you are crunched for it. I have so much on my plate, yet I’m loving it. I don’t accomplish everything I want, and I do get overwhelmed, but the journey is worth it.

These last few days have been crazy busy in a really good way. You see, Friday, I turned fifty-four years old and guess what? I love it. I’ve made it this far and I hope to make it another fifty-four years with you guys still in my life. My other blog is up and running, so I’ll leave you the link below and I’ve started my podcast, so please check it out. I’m really hoping to be successful at it, and the only way that can happen is to get subscribers and feedback. I know some of you are my personal friends, and I have but one favor to ask you. Please listen and give me your honest feedback. No bias please. I know critical comments aren’t always easy to swallow, but it makes a person stronger, and those comments are what help me to grow.

I thought it was fitting to share the following quote with you, because it something I must work on for myself. “Body confidence does not come from trying to achieve the perfect body, it comes from embracing the one you’ve already got.”-unknown.

That about sums it up in a nutshell. John can tell you; I have a really bad self-image issue and it stems from how I was brought up and it carried over into my married life. From the time I was little I was told I was chunky; I think that’s what caused me to become anorexic and bulimic. I had someone tell me I was built like a pear and that I would never be thin. I remember when my sister was born how much mother would talk about how pretty she was, then when my brother came along, she had no issue telling everyone he was her prettiest baby. Since I was the stepchild, and my biological dad wasn’t paying child support, my stepdad did very little for me, just the basics, however, my brother and sister got everything, and they were dressed always super cute, I suppose that’s why I have a compulsive need to buy a cute dress from time to time, I never had it growing up and believe me when I say, right now is not a good time in my life to be buying anything.

I’ve suffered my entire life with food. It terrifies me and even to this day, when I eat, I allow myself to become consumed with guilt. For example, John and I went for ice cream the other night and when I got home, I allowed my mind to beat me up. It’s not a healthy way to be and I get it, and it’s my battle within. When I read the above quote, it’s so true, I need to embrace the body I have.

Yesterday my dear friend took me for a massage and lunch, and I think it was the first time we took a photo together and while I’ll always treasure the photo, I see how pretty she looks, and I can’t see beyond the neck I hate, the flaws in my appearance, however, I am going to frame one of our photos and treasure it, and I will continue to work on me.

Embracing who we are is the greatest way to become the best us possible. John is always saying he hopes one day I’ll love myself even just a quarter of how he loves me. I’m lucky you know. He tells me how beautiful I am every day. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t tell me I’m perfect for him. I am truly, the luckiest gal in the world to have a man that believes I’m his queen. I know what it feels like to be with someone that doesn’t or can’t love you back and worse yet, tells you how ugly you are and how fat you look.

I truly think that if I can learn to love myself just a little, then I might be able to look at myself in the mirror. I was thinking about my birthday this past weekend and how blessed I am to have, not only John in my life, but my kids, and my friends. To have that much love surround me over the last couple of days was an experience I never imagined would happen to me. I was thinking last night on my way home, how blessed I am to have you all in my life and to be able to spend my birthday surrounded by those I love, so I guess I must be a little okay.

I would do anything in my power to make sure those in my life and who come into my life know how important and valued they are to me. When I tell you my dear friends just how beautiful you are, I mean it. Isn’t it said somewhere if you want to see changes in the world, start making them? I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they aren’t beautiful, because we are all unique in our own ways and we really need to stop comparing ourselves to the other person who we might not even know, because you can almost be certain, she sees flaws about herself when she looks in the mirror. I must now learn to practice what I’m preaching.

I’m learning to embrace me. I buy those cute dresses that I never would have been caught wearing because I thought I looked fat. I’m hoping that the more I genuinely support other women, the more it will sink into my brain, and I’ll be able to accept me the way John sees me. It’s pretty cool to have someone compliment you rather than tear you down.

So, to whoever needs to hear this today, don’t be too hard on yourself. You are amazing just the way you are, and the best part is, you are unique and wonderfully made.

Now go make today a wonderful day and please, don’t forget, Love Life++

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