Anchor

Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing this amazing Monday afternoon? What a simply beautiful day it is. I am loving sitting here looking out at the lake enjoying the windy weather, listening to my music and windchimes out on my balcony. I just love living lake life. I feel blessed having John here with me too. I know how much he loves being able to work in his office here and seeing the lake. Shoot me a text or drop me a comment and let me know how you’re doing and how your weekend was. I love hearing from you all. Oh, and in case you haven’t done it yet, hit the follow button at the bottom of the post and follow my blog, you’ll be one of the first to see it when it uploads.

I have a busy couple of days ahead of me, however, I am so beyond stoked to be able to hang out with my two girls tomorrow evening. My sons’ better halves and I are doing a sip and paint. I enjoyed the one I did back in October, however, I swore I wouldn’t do one alone again. Everyone there came with their besties, so, though it was nice, I still wished I would have had a buddy along with me. Jagger’s done a sip and paint once before and Katie never has, so I can hardly wait to have an evening with just my girls. They are such amazing young ladies and not only are my boys so blessed to have them in their lives, but I am also beyond blessed to have them in mine.

I went to chair volleyball this morning, however, I didn’t make it to the end. My left side is killing me, and my pain level is close to a 10 right now, and that’s with pain meds. I am so exhausted from not being able to sleep at night, but I’m hopeful that if I continue to work through the pain that I will be able to still enjoy doing things. The pains meds take off the edge, but make me so sleepy, so I hate taking them during the day, but even at night when I take them, I still can’t sleep the night through.

I’ve been thinking so much lately about life, and I’ve enjoyed dreaming a little too about never leaving this spot here on the lake. I know in order to make some people happy I need to give up lake life, but after spending a couple of days talking with John, I know this isn’t only my dream, but his too. He sees himself never leaving the lake, so even though not all of our family supports it, this is where we want to be and in just a few short years, John will be able to be here full time too. I can’t wait.

I saw this wonderful quote this morning and wanted to share. “Sometimes, you can get busy trying to be everyone else’s anchor that you don’t even realize you are actually drowning.”-unknown. I know this applies to all of us at times, but I think that as moms, sometimes, we dive so much into taking care of our kids, husbands, homes and families, that we forget we matter too. If I could share on piece of advice to the newly married young ladies, the new moms, and moms who have given up themselves to put everyone else first, it would be this, don’t forget to take a moment for yourself. I know it’s hard to do, especially when we have little ones, but you need to buy out time to rejuvenate yourself, even if it’s just a half hour to go into the bathroom and take a hot shower or bubble bath. You might think you can do it all, and I’m sure you can, but in a few years when your kiddos are grown, you might just find yourself waking up, looking in the mirror and wondering who that person is looking back at you.

I applaud you ladies that are superheroes, doing it all, but I admire you gals that know the importance of taking care of you too. We can only be an anchor for so long before the current weakens us, and we lose ground. I know I’ve said it many times before in previous blogs, but I was drowning and those in my life only knew me as super mom, doing it all for her family. Nobody saw me being carried out to sea where I finally drowned in my only little world. It’s like hitting the wall and not being able to function anymore. I had a therapist try and explain to my ex-husband when he was fighting him saying that I just needed to snap out of it that I short circuited. I was no longer able to take care of myself or anyone else for that matter. I ceased to function, I only existed, barely.

It’s funny, I spoke with my ex the other day. He reached out regarding a couple of our properties that we still have together, and it amazes me that he still blames me for how his life turned out. He still looks at me as though it’s my responsibility to be his anchor. I even got the blame for his A1C being elevated. I guess since I’m not there to lay out his meal plans on the daily, it’s my problem how he eats. I told him that I am currently enrolled in school where I’m taking a nutrition class, and he told me that he needs me to write up a meal plan for him. While I don’t’ mind helping him, after all, he is the father of my boys, it’s not really my job to police his eating habits. I’m not his anchor anymore and I can’t allow myself to get caught up in taking on one more project. I am finding that I’m taking on too many projects again and losing track of things that bring me joy and happiness.

It’s a real gift when we give to others, helping them where we can, but we can’t allow others to suck us dry. We have to find a balance between helping and being a doormat. I know the concept of putting ourselves into the pool of taking care of ourselves isn’t an easy one, especially for those of us who are givers by nature, but it’s so important that we do, otherwise, we are no good to anyone.

As a community of friends and family, it’s a wonderful thing to support each other, be there for each other, but we need to make sure we aren’t getting so caught up that we lose track of ourselves, because we just might find that we’ve drifted so far out to sea, that making it back to land isn’t possible and we drown.

Come up for air from time to time and realize you have needs too. I received a message from my niece the other day and she told me that she’s realized she doesn’t take time for herself, so she talked with her hubby and told him that she needs to take time to start running again. She’s come to understand that she needs those moments alone where she’s getting her exercise, both physically and mentally and believe me when I say, she’ll be a better wife, mother, friend, worker and person overall. She’ll find happiness and it’ll show in how she prospers even more in her roles as a women.

You know that saying, “happy wife, happy life?” I think this says a lot. I think it’s saying that as mothers and wives, if we fail to take care of ourselves, we lose our inner happiness and eventually, we run the risk of unhappy wife, miserable life. So, ladies and gents too, take a moment for you, find one little thing you can do for yourself and indulge in it from time to time. It’s time to put ourselves into the equation of our family life. Thoughts? I would love to hear what you think.

I hope the rest of your day is as amazing as you my dear readers. Hey, don’t forget, until next time, Love Life++