A reflective day

Happy Friday Eve everyone!

How are you all doing on this terrific Thursday evening? Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, I always love hearing from you. Let me know how you are and what you’ve been up to. You always light up my days when I hear about yours.

Today was a rather reflective day for me. It started with a trip to the dentist where I found out that I have some big-time work that needs to be done and done almost immediately. No pain, just a few broken teeth from all the ice I was consuming and from the calcium and iron deficiencies.

With the amount of vomiting I did over the course of 6 months leading up to my surgery because of my acid reflux and Gerd, I managed to damage a few teeth along the way. I sure did have the perfect storm not only in my body, but my mouth. UGH! Time to start the course of getting things repaired and believe me when I tell you, I have a genuine fear of going to the dentist, so this won’t be easy, but it is necessary. Let the repairs begin, that is, on March 2 I will begin this long process of getting my oral health taken care of.

After the bad news from my dentist, I went over to see Aunt Billie. I needed to have her help me button up a few details for the book I’m writing for her, and I haven’t seen her in over a month, so I’ve been missing her.

This incredible woman, my Great Aunt Billie was born in 1925. She’s going to be 101 years old very soon and every day that she is with us here on earth is a precious gift.

I’m going to share something with you all that made me really grasp just how precious time is.

Arriving at the assisted living facility was totally ordinary, it was like all other times. I got there, checked in, then noticed Aunt Billie sleeping in a lobby chair. I didn’t want to disturb her, so I sat down across from her. Within a moment, another resident summoned me over to her, so I obliged. This sweet lady said she had noticed Aunt Billie had been asleep for close to an hour, therefore, she said I should wake her up, so I did. I touched her shoulder ever so slightly. I whispered her name and the beautiful woman looked up at me.

Aunt Billie woke up with the biggest smile on her face and said, “Hi there Dawna girl. It’s so nice to see you.” Oh, how I love to see her happy. Her voice gets higher and she becomes quite giddy when she’s this happy. It was when she went to get up out of the chair that I realized though, my hello Dawna girls are going to become fewer and fewer as the days and years go on. Aunt Billie is beginning to slow down. She’s still on point when we chat, but there are those moments she drifts off, like she’s searching for her thoughts. Gosh, I hope I can keep my brain power for as long as she has, but it’s doubtful. I forget way more than she does. But there’s this certain slowdown that becomes noticeable when an older person is winding down in life, I’m sure you’ve seen it too in someone you’ve loved.

Aunt Billie take so much pride in her memory and her intelligence. Not in a haughty way, but in an accomplished way. For fun, Aunt Billie asks Siri questions that come creep into her mind. She’ll ask the distance from where she lives and some town nobody’s heard of. Then she’ll ask the population and other oddities that make the unknown town home to folks who live there. She loves to learn. I suppose that could be a lesson for all of us, keep learning because when we make it to our 100th birthday, God willing, we’ll have all kinds of information hanging around in our minds.

Today more than any other time spent with Aunt Billie, I realized my gift of having her here on earth with me is coming to an end. There was this eerie feeling in the facility today. I’m not sure if you’ve ever had that feeling, but it sure does suck. In that moment though I made it a point to not think about how old she is, instead, I chose to embrace just listening to her stories and enjoying being in them moment with her. I want to remember these special times that I’m blessed to have with my Great Aunt Billie.

She asked me to have lunch with her, but I told her I couldn’t, but I did agree to go sit with her while she had her lunch. Most of the food on the menu today were things that aren’t allowed on my post-op diet. She understood, and she sure did enjoy introducing me again to all the servers and to her new table mate.

It’s amazing how being introduced as her niece made me feel this sense of belonging. A sense of pride and most importantly, the feeling of being loved.

Photo credit: Pinterest/GH

Sitting with my aunt today I couldn’t help but reflect on the life we’ve shared over the years, and I couldn’t help but feel a little sad for the time when life happened and we didn’t see each other or talk. I can’t go back in time, but moving forward, I sure can make the most of the time we have left together. I can call her more. Text her good morning and goodnight. I can make it a point to go visit more often because like Aunt Billie always says, “live life with little to no regret.” Thus, her song, “My Way”, Frank Sinatra.

Today Aunt Billie reminded me of her song, “My Way”. She told me how she had the song played as they placed her beloved husband in the ground, 20 years ago next month. Aunt Billie told me how she bought 4 plots for $750. 00 and had to take a loan out at the time to pay for them. She made sure I understood she bought all for for $750, not $750 each.

When her time comes, she’ll be buried right next to my Uncle Bud. She made it very clear, not once, but twice today, “I want to have “My Way” played while I’m being placed in the ground.” I sure hate thinking about when that day will come, but I suppose when you’re 100+ years old, it’s something that crosses your mind more often than not. It’s something at 100 that perhaps you need to talk about in order to be more accepting of what is more than likely coming sooner than later.

Having conversations about dying and your wishes isn’t always an easy thing to discuss, let alone listen to, however, as a writer I was able to really listen to Aunt Billie talk about her wishes today. I was able to listen fully and completely about her life, because she’s trusted me with the task to write about her journey on this planet and I can’t tell you how honored I am by that request. I absorbed every word she said to me today.

Auntie-niece time. Priceless.

Today was the first time I could feel the eeriness of death that will come to take us all and with that eeriness, I was able to connect with truly being in the moment and holding on tight to every story told to me by a wonderful woman that I call Aunt Billie who has lived to be 100+ years old. I was able to go down memory lane with her. I heard about her courageousness when she was barely 18 years old. With $50 dollars in her purse and a single, small suitcase in hand, she told her daddy she loved him, and she was leaving home to live her life and live her life is exactly what she did.

Her first job was with Douglas Aircraft. An 18-year-old young girl leaving the comforts of her daddy’s home in New Mexico to move to Southern California where she walked into Douglas and sold herself as knowledgeable with planes. She went on to learn all she could and that took her to the top. Her philosophy was learning everything she could. She worked on planes. She was hands on and that gained her the respect of her male co-workers in a predominantly male industry. Her hard work paid off, and she found a career that would take her through all of her working years.

Today I was blessed to spend an hour with a woman I admire and aspire to be like. I was beyond grateful to hear her stories again, the ones that she holds on tight too. The love she has for her daughter and grandchildren is incredible. She’s so proud of each of them and now, she has 7 great grandchildren that she gets to tell stories about too.

A full life she’s not only lived, but continues on living and I got to be a part of it, though in a very small way, I still got a moment with someone who in her own way, without even knowing it, helped me reflect on the gift of time and the reminder of how precious it is.

When you sit across from a 100+ year old woman, you truly do appreciate that once the time is gone, you can’t go back for a refund. Time, once spent, it nonrefundable. Make the most of it with those you love. Appreciate the stories your loved one’s share, even if you’ve heard them before. When you sit and listen, I mean really listen, you are being given a gift, a part of their life that you can carry close to your heart for the rest of your life.

Photo credit: Facebook

I might have given Aunt Billie the gift of my time today, but she gave me the gift of being able to reflect on life, hers and mine and how overlapped they truly are.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Today was a day of reflection for me and guess what, it was incredible. I have another level of appreciation for this wonderful gift of life.

Today was a good day.

And on that note, I’ll be saying goodnight to you.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs

PS

Tonight’s sunset: