Go with peace: How I’m learning to guard my heart against hurtful words

Happy Saturday evening everyone!

How are you doing? Did you have a spectacular Saturday? I did. John and I spent some time having lunch with some of our friends from Oceanside, followed by my nieces stopping by with some Tiramisu and Canoli’s. After a bit of some Italian goodies, we headed to the local thrift store where I scored some incredible baskets and a couple other things for my son’s engagement party. I’m super excited about my purchase. For $26 I bought four big baskets, a sign with the letters for a message board and a 2-tiered tray. The tiered tray and message board were brand new still in the original packaging. I’m a happy buyer today.

Oh, I forgot one more thing that I did today. I went to mama Sandy’s to grind up some cookies and then I came home and John and I made rum balls for tomorrow’s Super Bowl party at our new neighbors. They invited us to stop by, so after my son and his future father-in-law stop over to look at our electrical panel to make sure, we have enough supply for all the lights we’re putting up for the party, then, John and I will mosey over to the neighbors for a quick hi. This is our first invite to one of our neighbor’s, so we’re excited. We’ve been spending countless hours at home trying to unpack, get a little more organized and me resting trying to recover and all.

I am feeling better each day overall. As long as I listen to my body when it says enough is enough, I do okay. One thing I’ve come to really appreciate is how when I need to sit and put my feet up, it’s always when there’s a calm surrounding my home. Sometimes when I sit out on the balcony, the breeze is so soothing. I love seeing the bird’s fly around and play. Out on my balcony, I can hear my incredible fountain that is right below me. It’s truly the most wonderful sound.

Sometimes I go out back and sit while Oreo and Molly run around and play. Sitting out back I always hear the sounds of birds off in the distance chirping. In the backyard I can hear the wind as it makes its way through the trees. The shuffling of the leaves as the branches sway takes me to a place of calm. I always feel closer to God when I sit amongst his creations.

Despite all the reminders that He is with me, guiding me, on occasion, probably more times that I like to think, a negative happens, then we are forced to either react or reflect on His message. The choice will define the rest of the mood.

For example:

“There are moments that catch you completely off guard—a notification on your phone that doesn’t just sting your eyes, but settles like a heavy weight in your chest. Today, a text from my ex did exactly that. My first instinct was to react, to defend, to hurt back. But instead, I found myself sitting in Mama Sandy’s kitchen, asking a different question: How do I choose to be like Christ when every part of me wants to be angry?“

“Every day, I ask for a heart that echoes Christ’s—rooted in love and understanding.
I pray for my boys, and for wisdom in my choices.
Where I am hurt, I ask for healing; where I am angry, I ask for peace.
May Your peace flow through me and those who have hurt me.”

I had a dear friend, Mary K. Doyle over at Midwest Mary ( https://midwestmary.com/ ) tell me that when she tries to make peace with a situation and the other person is so receptive, she prays that her and the other person “go with peace”. Mary telling me this had a huge impact on thinking. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate her words. Now, when I feel like I’ve wronged someone or they’ve wronged me, no matter the outcome, I pray that we both have peace. This shift in my thinking and praying that we both have peace has really helped me in my pursuit to become more Christlike.

My head tells me that the threats my ex makes to me aren’t really my concern. I don’t respond to him because I feel by doing so I’ll only fuel the fire, and I don’t want that. I wish I knew if there were something I could say to end his need to hurt me by his words. I’m beginning to think though, perhaps I need to shift my focus on should I reply and if I do what do I say to, how do I not let his words affect me. I do I change the way I allow my feelings to react to his words.

It’s hard because again, his threats are in the long run going to hurt our son and that’s a pain I can’t fix. I don’t know how to not allow my ex’s words to affect me. I don’t know how not to react. I pray that He lifts this burden from my shoulders and carries me through, because when my kids hurt, I hurt.

I will continue give my hurt and burden over to God, because this is one challenge that has me sinking in quicksand. No child, grow or not deserves to be put in the middle of his/her parents’ issues. It’s not how loving parents do things.

Tonight, I feel numb because I don’t know how to fix the attack on me that will most certainly affect my sons. This mama bear’s heart is broken. I love my children more than anything in this world and I never want to see any of them, including my bonus boys hurt by the hatred of one of their parents.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Children are an inheritance from God. Children are 50% mom, 50% dad. When we continue to be negative towards the other parent, the more hatred continues to brew.

It’s time, though not easy, to let go of the hurtful words and leave it in His hands to make it right. It’s in his power to make things play out in the best way possible.

Tonight, as we say goodnight and turn over to get comfortable in our beds, say a little prayer for peace and harmony.

Please don’t forget, love Life++ Hugs.