Being Happy

Happy Thursday everyone!

How is your day? I do hope it will be as amazing as you are. Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, you know I love hearing from you.

I had a question posed to me, and I thought, why not explore it. So, I’ve thought long and hard over it, how I feel about it and what would I do if this was something that happened to me. So, you may be wondering what the question is? Well, here it is.

How do we not allow the negative or bad behavior of another person to affect us. How do we put the brakes on someone spewing hatred, perhaps even slandering our name to others, or do we put the brakes on? What if a person is seeking vengeance upon us?

Some pretty loaded questions that all circle back to how do we not allow the negative or bad behavior of another person to affect us?

My personal opinion? I’m not sure anyone can actually not allow the bad, mean or negative behavior of another person that’s aimed towards us to not bother us in some way. I think it’s human nature to want to be liked. I also believe it makes us uncomfortable knowing there’s someone who’s mad at us, or who has chosen us to be their next victim of lies, only to make themselves look good.

Some folks love being in the middle of drama. Some go looking for ways to stir the pot, while others need a reason to gossip. Instead of tapping into compassion, they tap into the I want to get even mentality. Some do this without even asking for clarification on a misunderstanding.

In my opinion and I most certainly can be wrong; there are times when people enjoy being a victim. They look for ways to be victimized, even over the slightest whatever. It’s sort of sad when you think about it. They need attention, no matter if it’s good or bad, they just need to be in the center of drama.

This morning this quote showed up on my Pinterest: “Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. We say wrong things, we do wrong things, we fall, we get up, we learn, we grow, we move on, we live and we thank God for always giving us another chance. Good morning.”- Anwana Sangprachum.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how it would look to be in a situation like this, where someone is angry with me, or is saying derogatory things to me or about me to others. My first instinct out of the gate was, I need to defend my name. But wait. Wouldn’t that cast doubt on my innocence? I mean, if I feel the need to defend my name to people, especially my true friends or family members, then, in my opinion, one of two things is true. There’s some truth to what’s been said. I mean, if I’m a person who doesn’t want to get caught up in the drama and has good friends and family who know them as a person, then why come in behind a drama person to explain away the negative? Wouldn’t it make sense that my true friends already know me? I would hope so at least.

I don’t know. I almost feel like depending on the situation, why continue to scurry more and more into the drama pool? I’ve been told that people will generally move on and away from you if you stop responding. Their feelings about you are on them, not you. I also feel you truly need to know yourself as a person, because if you don’t, and take it from me on this, if you don’t know your worth, then any little negative thought or statement about you grows bigger and bigger in your mind. You allow it to become true and then it defines you.

I wonder too, maybe it’s the lack the self-confidence where we feel the need to defend ourselves to others. For example, I overheard a blanket statement the other day. The statement was, “everyone told me to stay away from you. Everyone told me you’re a user.” Notice the person used the term “everyone.” Well, that’s a statement that could fester in a person’s mind. When we hear the term everyone or when the term everyone is used, well, that’s a whole lot of people, don’t you think? If we allow ourselves some grace and a moment to really absorb the word everyone, you know, the word that will get most of us hung up on self-doubt, well, think about it, is everyone a true statement? Stop for a moment and think about the folks in your life. Are they many or are they few? More importantly, are they true and genuine friends and family? Ahh, there’s the answer. How true are our relationships? How well do our friends and family know us?

If we have true friendships and family relationships, then “everyone” is being stated because the person spewing negative about us is trying to get in our head and make us doubt ourselves. They want us and others to believe we are a bad person.

When we begin to overthink, that’s when the real problems in our head begin.

“When you overthink remember this quote: ‘worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.”-Flikka Samperi.

God has a wonderful way of making things very obvious in my life. When I question things or I’m asked difficult questions such as the ones in this post, something either pops up in a Pinterest post, or I see a quote on Facebook. My favorite enlightening moments are when a friend randomly texts me with a positive thought or affirmation. Today, I got all three. I suppose He wants this message shared with others.

In a message I received yesterday, I won’t give the entire message, but this one small part of it fits so perfectly here, “I know we want everyone to like us-but really, that’s not realistic.” Think about this. I know for me, it hit hard. It is so true, we do want others to like us. We don’t like it when folks aren’t nice to us. We struggle when we know people are talking about us. It’s called bullying.

“No matter how good you are, there is always one person who hates you for no reason.”-Morgan Freeman.

Then, I read this on Pinterest. Gosh, I really think God allowed these to come up as first things I saw on my page. Anyway, the quote goes like this; “Only people who are not happy with themselves are mean to others. Remember that.”-8-images. Blogspot/Family Study Journal.

Then I saw this quote: “People can be mean. Don’t take it personally. It says nothing about you but a lot about them.”-livelifehappy.com.

Like I’ve mentioned before in past blog posts, we are all guilty in one way or another, from time to time of hurting someone. We are after all, human. We stumble and fall. We say things or do things that cause others harm. Generally, I think it’s safe to say, we don’t intentionally seek to hurt people, but when it happens, we decide not only to own our mistakes, but knowing where we fell short, do we or are we trying to correct things?

I love this post from Sparkle and Shine: Walk away…from arguments that lead to anger, from people who put you down, from anyone who doesn’t see your worth. Walk away from mistakes and fears, they don’t determine your fate. The more you walk away from the things that poison your soul, the healthier and happier you will be.”-Lessons Taught by Life.

Walking away isn’t always easy and sometimes the blow out will be bigger than expected, but the overall peace of mind is worth the moments of pain, at least in my opinion.

I’d like to leave you all with this wonderful quote:

While we can’t fix the actions of others, we most certainly can fix our own if we’re willing to ask God for the help and guidance. We aren’t always right. We fall and fail many times. I’m coming to learn that it’s better to own our thoughts and actions and it’s best not to make excuses when we flounder and mess up. That just keeps the story going.

I think for me, I’m going to work on asking myself, ‘what could I have done differently?’ Learn from the bad outcomes and do my best to think before acting or speaking. Not every situation needs my two cents. Not every situation needs my explanation. Sometimes, it’s just best to walk away.

My final thought:

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.