Thankfulness

Happy Wednesday everyone!

How are you doing? Gosh, it feels like it’s been a moment since we’ve chatted. Time sure does seem to fly by these days and now we’ve officially entered the holiday season.

Can you believe Halloween 2025 is in the books and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Soon it will be time to put up our Christmas trees and deck the halls and I can’t wait. I have a really good feeling that this Christmas is going to be extra special despite me being scheduled for surgery just 3 days before. Thank goodness, I’ll only be in the hospital overnight at least that’s the plan.

Even though I’ll be home recuperating this Christmas, I’m still super excited. Most would say that Christmas is my favorite holiday, however, I can agree to disagree. I love each and every one of them. I love to decorate. I love to cook a traditional meal, and I love being surrounded by family and friends.

I can’t delay my surgery because January 1st, I’ll be switching insurance companies, and I really need to get the hiatal hernia surgery done. The amount of acid reflux and Gerd is beyond horrible these days. All it takes is the slightest thing I eat that doesn’t agree with me, and it can trigger an episode of all night vomiting. So, with all this going on in my body, I’m excited to go under the knife and get this hernia taken care of.

I am a little bummed about our next wonderful holiday, Thanksgiving. I was hoping to make a big Thanksgiving dinner, but not this year, and that’s okay. This will be the first Thanksgiving I won’t be cooking in a long while. Still no kitchen, so still no way to have my kiddos and their families over, but I am thankful that John and I get to enjoy the older boys and their wives’ and soon to be wife on a Caribbean cruise. Even though we won’t be sitting around a Thanksgiving table enjoying an amazing meal, we’ll get to sit around a table on a cruise ship a few days later and I’m thankful for that.

Despite everything going on in life, I am thankful for the journey and for John and his strength. I am thankful that God continues to teach me how to be patient and I’m beyond grateful to finally be learning and surrendering to letting go and letting God. It’s been a hard lesson to learn, and I am confident I will stumble and fall along the way towards my next lesson; however, I have been able to feel His embrace as I practiced letting go and letting God, and that’s pretty cool.

Letting go and letting God was a concept I never fully grasped, that is, until I truly implemented it into my own personal life. Believe me when I tell you, it’s easier said than done.

Recently John and I found our dream home. From the moment I walked inside, I knew she was mine. I began building a life within her walls. I embraced every curve of her structure, every imperfection she had. I loved her despite her roughness in some areas. Her rough edge areas are a testimony of the life she’s had and the lives that called her home. Sparkle is her name. When I walked up her driveway and looked at her size, she is so grand, yet simple. I was in awe of how magnificent she is. She’s not a huge home; however, she is modestly large in size. Sparkle lite up my world with the endless dreams I created within my imagination for the many memories I knew we could make there.

Sparkle has the tallest of trees surrounding her and those trees keep her nestled tight and safe at night. Sparkle even came with a spool. Not a pool, not a spa, but a spool. Her spool is perfect for floating and taking in a hot summer sun. She has so much potential for a fruit tree garden. She has space that flows from inside to the out where family and friends can gather around with ease while laughing, playing games and enjoying a little bit of lake life. Gosh, she is a beauty in my eyes.

I am grateful and thankful that I got a moment to dream about a life within her walls, however, due to human error, someone else came in and saw her amazing qualities and they wanted to make her their own. They wanted to fill her with the love of their family, the way John and I dreamt of doing with ours. I can’t blame them for that. For whatever human error happened and for whatever reason, I am glad I got to see her and embrace her every detail.

It was when I heard she was purchased by another family that I had to rely deeply on my faith and upon the lessons of gratitude and thankfulness. You see, I failed to listen to my gut, my inner voice when it came to choosing the person who would help make Sparkle mine. (Mine and John’s, but in this blog, I’ll refer to her both as mine and ours). I went against the advice of people who love me unconditionally, those who told me to perhaps choose a different person to help, and for that, Sparkle would become just a dream.

I held onto her tightly though. I wasn’t about to let go. Then, a light went on inside of me. A light so bright I couldn’t ignore it. Through prayer and supplication, I realized that I needed to learn some lessons. I needed to learn to be thankful for what I did and do have. I needed to learn gratitude for an opportunity, even if it were lost. I needed to learn to let go and let God. I needed to learn to trust in His plan and path for me. It was when I fully let go and let God that my life began to take a turn in some pretty incredible ways. It was when I went over and said goodbye to Sparkle that new doors began to open. New opportunities along with a sense of gratitude filled my heart. I began to see clearly what other homes might offer us, even if it were meant to be our condo that we now call home. I can now look back on this experience and be completely grateful and thankful for the journey of falling in love, not only with a home, but with the home John and I already have.

I have loved lake life from the moment we drove through the gates of this little paradise we call home. I have always loved my condo, but when the leak caused it to become one hot mess, I became disgruntled, not for my home, but for the circumstances surrounding it. I became angry with those who’ve treated us as “renters”, as though that’s a bad thing. I was carrying a heavy load of something that could almost be likened to hate. I didn’t hate the property managers, the remediation company and the homeowner, I hated their treatment towards me and John. I hated the way they elevated themselves above us and above our basic human needs. They disregarded our health and safety. They just don’t seem to care about anything other than their mighty dollar and that makes me sad. I suppose they have their own lessons to learn in this life, but that’s not for me to choose or to decide.

Since the flood in July, I have found myself consumed with their (those in control of my home) negative and harmful treatment towards me and my home. To this day, they continue to treat us like second class citizens. My lesson in this, to never assume I know someone’s true circumstances. Never judge others. Always find a place of grace and understanding, along with acceptance in my heart for those less fortunate, especially those less fortunate. I don’t know their story. Learn to forgive and never take for granted all the gifts in my life.

I carried this burden of resentment and borderline hate towards them all alone and that was so foolish on my part. I had to learn to let go of the resentment and hatred in my heart and when I did, gratitude and being able to feel thankful for this incredible life God has given me began to take seed and bloom.

Psalm 55:22 AMP

“Cast your burden on the Lord [release it] and He will sustain and uphold you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (slip, fall, fail).”

With my new mindset in place, I said a prayer thanking God for the opportunity to experience the warm bear hug embrace Sparkle gave me when I walked through her double doors. When I gave my prayer to Him, I had this feeling come over me to go see my Sparkle one more time and say goodbye to her and that’s what I did. I took along one of my lucky bamboo plants that sits snuggly in an elephant planter, and I put the lucky bamboo on Sparkles fence. I asked Sparkle to please embrace her new owner with love, acceptance and pure joy, whoever that new owner may be. I asked that whoever gets to call her home be blessed with many years of happiness. I bid her farewell, and I thanked God for teaching me how to rely on Him and how to let go of something He may not have had planned for me.

I learned a very valuable lesson through this entire process. I learned that He would give us what we need according to His plan for us, we just need to be patient. I need to be patient.

I don’t know what’s next for John and me, but I have an idea of where He’s taking us next. Hopefully sooner than later I can share my hunch with you all, but for now, it’s in His hands to decide. In the meantime, I am beyond thankful that He’s continued to provide for me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. I am surrounded by family, friends and a community that has always embraced me, despite my renter status. Those real in my life see me for me and not for what I do or don’t have and that’s pretty darn amazing.

John and I have found our home, our safe place and it’s in each other’s arms and it’s here in this incredible community where He has blessed us with friends.

And in my home, as my days began to grow darker because I couldn’t let go of something that wasn’t even mine to begin with, those who are family and friends, they helped me turn the lights on knowing I wasn’t able to do it alone. During my days of hopelessness, I found everything I needed to be thankful and grateful for, I just needed a little help finding the light switch.

I now have days of calm in my heart. I am able to wake up every morning with a little gratitude in my heart and thankfulness in my soul. I am able to let go and let God a little easier each day and I am able to reach out to those in my life for reassurance, love and support. I am able to talk with John and share my feelings with him, even when they come out as nothing but word madness.

I am thankful for so many things, including you. Thank you for being coming along on my many crazy journeys in life, you always make things a little happier in my world. Thank you.

Well guys, I have some much-needed crafting to do. I have a craft fair to get ready for. My first one ever and I’m so excited! Wish me luck.

Below is a glimpse into a little bit of my crafting, Thoughts? The projects aren’t fully complete, but close enough to share with all my friends.

Oh hey, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.