True love

Happy Wednesday evening everyone,

How is everyone doing on this incredible stormy evening? While we have no rain here as of yet it’ is gloomy with trees wisping in the breeze. It smells like rain is coming. You know that scent of water that needs to be released.

I’m all nestled up in my loft, Oreo at my feet and Molly with her cuteness all snuggled up next to me. She got her hair done yesterday and I have a little surprise to share with you all.

Photo below:

She matches her mama. We have both gone a little pink. I love it and so does she. She’s the little sassy one who really enjoyed showing off her pink to all her neighbor friends. She’s a nut, but full of love. Oreo, she’s just my chill puppy. She seems to always know my moods, and she sure does love me. I am blessed with two incredible fur-babies.

So today was an extremely difficult day. I couldn’t sleep last night, so getting up at 4 and needing to leave the house at 4:50 sure worn me out, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. John says it’s because my body is at war and fighting me internally. He’s got that right. Everything about me is just wrong right now. I’m tired.

I know many of you are struggling right now too.

I had my blood work done again today and my numbers aren’t as bad as they were last week, at least not my iron levels. They are still within a point of last week. Now, I need to chat with my doctor tomorrow about leaving my November infusion in place so I can finish off September and October with adding no more to my plate.

I heard a song today on my way to San Diego. Like I said, this morning I was not in a good place. With less then 3 hours sleep, I just couldn’t pull myself together and poor John, he wanted to desperately to fix my struggle, but he can’t, and he couldn’t. It hurt my heart knowing how badly he wanted to make things right. He wanted to help stop the spinning in my mind, but I believe sometimes we have to allow the spin and let it run its course. You know that feeling as a woman, you need to just vent. You need to unravel all the buildup. You need to release and sadly, we sometimes tend to release on those we love most.

The song I heard was True Love Ways, sung by Mickey Gilley:

“Just you know why
Why you and I
Will by and by
Know true love ways

Sometimes we’ll sigh
Sometimes we’ll cry
And we’ll know why
Just you and I
Know true love ways

Throughout the days
Our true love ways
Will bring us joy to share
With those who really care

Sometimes we’ll sigh
Sometimes we’ll cry

Sometimes we’ll sigh
Sometimes we’ll cry
And we’ll know why
Just you and I
Know true love ways

And we’ll know why

Throughout the days
Our true love ways
Will bring us joy to share
With those who really care”

John and I have that true love and sometimes we need to remind each other that it’s always going to be enough. Our true love is enough to fill our hearts with gratitude and with that gratitude, happiness will encompass our life together.

John and I come from two very broken relationships. We are each other’s final chapter, at least that’s what we pray and hope for. It’s what we work towards. We are each other’s forever.

In our previous relationships we both walked away with unfair amounts. In my case, I just couldn’t do it anymore. My ex not only wore me down, but he also had attorney’s that backed him. He had his work hide his true income. He took money from our joint accounts and made them disappear. This has hurt me financially in the long run. I should have fought harder, but I couldn’t. I was too weak and afraid of who knows what. Funny though, even though my sons were grown when I left, I’m the one who has the relationship with both of them that their dad misses out on. That makes me sad, but he is their dad, I am their mom, and I made the decision to work and keep my relationships strong with the boys, he maybe doesn’t know how. He certainly lacked in the love department, at least with me. I’m okay with that. I got John. God gave me John.

All those songs about love, you know, those true love story songs. I can dissect each and every one of them and see us in those lyrics.

I am blessed to have a man who sees me flaws and all and he still chooses me. He loves me through it all.

I lack in so many things. I lack the ability to let go and let God, but I’m working on it each and every day. I’m working on being the best partner for John. I can’t imagine this life without him.

I’m not sure where our journey will take us. I’m not sure where we’ll end up in this life and that’s okay as long we end up forever together.

Below is True Love Ways sung by song writer and singer, Buddy Holly:

My dear readers, I’m in a season of needing to work towards getting healthy. I need to work on totally and completely embracing my relationship with my creator.

I told John this morning I need to blog; it’s the one thing I need to do daily if possible. It’s my way to embrace who I am, a writer and fingers crossed, a soon to be an author. Everything else I know will fall into place. I believe with all my heart our faith is being tested. John sometimes comments we are in our Job moment. Job’s faith was tested beyond what most would fail at. John says sometimes the stronger the faith, the stronger the tests and lessons. We become more connected to spirit and Universe when our faith becomes so real and embedded in our soul.

Life is giving us life right now and I mean life in the most crazy and uneasy way, but John and I have love. We have faith. We have each other.

True love never fails.

Well guys, that’s about all I have for now. Please forgive me if things don’t make total sense. I won’t be proofreading tonight. My brain is officially resining for the evening.

Good night. Sleep tight.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.