Good things falling apart

Happy Tuesday evening everyone,

How are you all doing? Day two of another work week, done! Well, I don’t work, but I know many of you do, so I’m hoping by the time you read tonight’s blog, you’ve made it home safely. Your cuddled up on the couch or in bed and you’re able to relax. I’m hope my writing finds you well, relaxed and maybe you’ll find a little uplifting in my words.

I decided to get my writing done now. I need to get to bed sooner than later. Early rising tomorrow.

Today was a long day. These 5 am wake up calls are tiring, but these too will soon end. Just 7 more weeks and I’ll be done!

Tomorrow will be a rather long and stressful day. I need to leave at 5 am and my day will continue to get longer as the day progresses. I was hoping for a break, however, sometimes people make life difficult, and someone has to cave and go with the flow.

Tomorrow, I need to get some blood work done to see where my kidney functions are and how low my iron has gotten. My last iron count was 19.

I had to postpone my infusions for the middle of November, at least that’s the plan. My doctor said if the levels have dropped anymore, he expects me to keep my Oct. 1 appointment, but if they’re steady, then I’ll get to keep the Nov. appointment instead.

Life is way too busy right now for me to sit for 7 hours hooked up to an IV. Then with the uncertainty of how I’ll feel the next couple of days after the infusion, I think waiting until my obligations are fulfilled is what’s best.

I’m told that it’s best to lay low for 24-48 hours after the actual infusion, so October 1 won’t work. The nurse I spoke with said some people with really low iron levels, like mine, it’s possible to be down several days to an entire week, so while John is not happy with me at all for canceling, I needed to. Having the right mind set is probably in my best interest too and right now, I’m not in the greatest of spaces mentally to do the infusion, besides, I’m a little nervous to have it done too.

As you all know John and I have been dealing with mold/water damage to our home. We’ve been struggling while trying to let go and let the God mindset guide our path.

You all know me, when I begin my downward spiral I dive deep into positive affirmations, and I binge listen to tons of uplifting podcasts and You Tubes. When I do this, I feel closer to God. It’s my way of getting out of darkness and seeing a light, whatever that light might be at the end of my tunnel.

I was listening to Oprah today and she said something that made me sigh. Then I thought to myself you are right, I don’t know what God has in store for me. All I can do is focus on things that make me happy and while doing this, give my burdens to Him to ease my load.

With my medical issues and the crazy life is presenting me with right now, I have to hold on to knowing He has something much grander than I could ever imagine in store for me. What is that grander? Who knows, maybe it’s not for me to know. Either way, I’m still working on letting go and letting God.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”-Marilyn Monroe.

I think Marilyn Monroe had that statement right. We just never know how things will turn out on the other side of falling apart.

“Piece by piece, I slowly fade away, I slowly drift apart.”-Five Finger Death Punch.

Fading away isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes fading away merely means we are letting the negative and not so good pieces of our being fade away. We allow those negatives to slowly drift away or apart from us so we have room for something better, something we may have never seen coming our way.

What we perceive as something good may indeed be good, but it might not be our good. It might not be what’s in our best interest down the road. Only He knows for sure what’s truly good for us.

“A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose-a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve.”-John C. Maxwell.

Sometimes good things falling apart leads us to amazing things coming our way. Just a thought.

Well guys, I’m off to bed. I’m exhausted. My hematologist said being tired is my new normal until I can replenish my iron levels. Maybe they can figure out where I’m leaking internally in the meantime.

As long as I’m still standing, I’ll keep moving forward. It’s funny, maybe this too is a sign that I need to get my booty in gear and actually take all the notes, pieces, edits and thoughts for my book and just sit and put it together.

John told our dear friends, who happen to be our neighbor about my medical condition. I stopped over at their house shortly after John’s conversation with them and Mr. Robb gave me the biggest hug and said, “young lady, maybe this is your reminder you have work to finish.”

No, he’s not thinking I’m moving onto the next life. I think he’s telling me what God needs me to hear. WRITE AND FINISH THE DAMN BOOK ALREADY!

And there you have it, good things are falling apart, and the amazing is right around the corner, I can almost feel it.

Goodnight everyone, and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.