Loyalty

Posted byDawnaPosted inBlake Lively, Claudia GrayTags:, , , ,

Happy Monday evening,

How is everyone doing on this fabulous Monday night? All is well here. Finally moving ahead, though slowly on the mitigation from our little flood here. I’m hopeful that we can get things going after we get a few test results back. Fingers crossed.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, I love hearing from you.

So. I have a question for you guys. It’s about loyalty. I’ve been presented with choosing to let some negative gossip go or end a friendship. Maybe I shouldn’t say end it. Perhaps it’s more, take a leap back from it.

What would you do in a situation like this? Maybe through me writing it out loud I’ll see things more clear. Your opinions do matter though, so please share your thoughts.

I had someone reach out to me today and they shared some pretty nasty and negative things about another person. Basically, it’s this tit for tat gossip. After this “friend” shared her gossip with me, I told her I would reach out to the person she chose to share some pretty demeaning things about and give them a chance at the very least to either clarify. Defend. Admit to what they are being accused of. Then we can move forward and hopefully fix the situation. I am a little surprised that she was in agreement with me doing this.

I did reach out. The person explained their side of things and I believe them. They have nothing to gain by lying to me, at least this is the vibe and feeling I got.

The person who decided to spew their gossip does come from a long family of twisting things. It’s almost like they stir the pot then sit back and not only play the victim, they try to sweep in and fix basically what they broke.

You’d think this would be an easy decision on my part. You may be wondering why this is even a question or struggle in my mind. Believe me. I’m asking myself the same thing. I’m also agreeing, why is this decision so difficult? Because I know and love everyone involved. At the end of the day though, I have to be loyal to the person who is the target of nasty chit chat.

“Sometimes we’re loyal to more than one thing. When there’s a conflict, we have to choose which loyalty to honor.”-Claudia Gray

I’ll be honest. I wanted to meet up with the person who I heard the gossip about. I wanted to talk openly and honestly. Instead, we ended up having this incredible phone conversation and this person said to me, “you know this family. They have so many issues and right now I’m their target. They have a long history of emotional gossip. They want to make me look bad to deflect on what they do.”

This person was dead on. There is one person in the gossiping family that has done some pretty deplorable things and I honestly feel they still continue on this path. At the same time they come across so genuine, loving and caring.

I think where I struggle is I see good qualities in this gossiper. No excuse though. To share something with me rather then go to the person who you are bashing. Are there good qualities in this person? Am I being naive and blind to the real qualities of this person?

If you value our friendship, why put me in the middle of the gossip and chaos? I have enough on my plate right now. I don’t want to get caught up in drama. I don’t want to be tossed in the middle anymore.

My loyalty must first be to myself and my family. Second, it’s to staying clear of all the negative and nasty talk.

“People gossip. People are insecure, so they talk about other people so that they won’t be talked about. They point out flaws in other people to make them feel good about themselves.”-Blake Lively.

Elizabeth Taylor said “you find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”

Personally, I want to avoid anything to do with a scandal. I feel like the older I get the less time I have for drama. I’ll be 57 next week and I’m more then half way to the end of my time here on earth. I don’t want to spend it all wrapped up in drama. Gossip. Negative talk and being forced to choose sides. Friends don’t do that or put one another in these types of situations, especially when your “proof” about your gossip is to horribly weak.

Wa-la! I’ve answered my own internal struggle. It’s time to step back. I can be kind to people. I can treat them with respect, yet, when it comes to deep conversations, I can’t go down that path anymore. It’s not good for my health and it’s definitely not good for my mindset.

It’s hard to walk away from people who you know you’ll always cross paths with. There will always be times when my heart will want to reach out but I need to keep reminding myself, if they can gossip and talk negative things about someone else, what’s to say they won’t do it to me. Who knows, maybe they already have.

Life lesson. It’s not always easy making healthy lifestyle choices. It’s not easy looking out for your own mental and physical well-being. It is necessary though.

Leviticus 19:16 “ ‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people. “ ‘Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the LORD.

-And on that note, I’ll be saying goodnight. Thank you for stopping by and taking time to read tonight’s blog and allowing me to write out loud. When I write it’s like hearing myself think and the more I write, the more clear the path becomes, so thank you.

Sleep tight my dear friends. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.

20 thoughts on “Loyalty”

      2. Thank you Kym. Today I took care of me. Took some me time in the pool. Enjoying some painting and then when it cools a bit I think I might hit the dollar tree to pick up some skeleton pieces for an art/craft project
        Hugs and love

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  4. Isn’t it interesting how we can be indecisive when thinking about something, but know what to do when we talk out loud or write about it? We have to lay everything out to explain it to someone, and in doing so, understand it more clearly. Neither you nor your targeted friend has anything to gain by continuing in the drama. Love you much, Dawna.

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    1. You are so right Mary and today more drama came to light and I have made the choice to walk away. Won’t be looking back anymore or wondering.
      Writing it out really cleared my head. Last night I gave it to God and today, He gave me more clarity and I’m done.
      Much love to you Mary.

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  6. Stay clear and away from it. Don’t get caught in the middle.

    But seriously, this is something you should talk about in your small group or women’s group, or maybe lead a study on it … Because the Bible speaks clearly against gossip and encourages us to guard our hearts and relationships. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”

    Loyalty means standing for truth and peace, not getting caught in drama. It’s wise to protect your peace and walk away from toxic situations while still showing kindness. God calls us to love others but also to set healthy boundaries.

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    1. Thank you Mr. Torres. You are right. Healthy boundaries are a must. I have cut all ties with these toxic ladies and I’m moving on to better and more encouraging friends.
      Hugs to you,.

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  7. I have often found myself caught in the middle of this kind of situation too… trying to figure out who is right so that I can do the right thing.. but what I am learning as I grow older is that my body simply cannot handle the drama and it is ok for me to not know who is right or who is wrong.. but simply.. that because the situation isn’t healthy for me… I need to say NO, and step back.
    If I feel called to minister or intervene I will try to act accordingly but if it is just a hot mess making me feel sick.. then I need to choose the right thing .. by choosing to protect.. not one person or the other.. but myself as well.
    Sometimes my focus on wanting to make sure that others are cared for.. loved.. makes me oppressively cruel to the one who at that moment probably needs me most… me..
    I have found in some of these situations, one person might be right, the other might be wrong.. or both wrong. One person might have done more harm.. and still be in the most pain.. one person might have more baggage and be most in need of attention… but regardless.. if it is harming me.. I must consider myself as well.

    For me, my bottom line is that I am growing to understand that I am human. I am limited.. there is no way I can figure it all out on my own.. only the Lord knows all the ins and outs of all this… so I am learning to pray.. if You want me to do it say something here.. lease show me… if not please help them and distance me from this. Please. take . over.

    Love you,
    Kimberly

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