My Monday

Happy Monday,

How are you doing this evening? How’d work go today? Summer break must be at least half way through for most of your kiddos? I do hope you’ve all enjoyed some fun summer time activities, you even traveled somewhere fun or exotic? Shoot me a text. Drop me a comment. I’d love to hear all about the happenings in your part of the world.

I want to take a moment to send prayers. I am thinking of all the families affected by the horrific floods in Texas. I know many lives are forever changed by the flooding.

I know Texas isn’t the only place that is undergoing disasters or other types of life altering happenings. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who is enduring such events. May God give you comfort in difficult times.

Today was a long and busy day. Traffic was incredibly heavy. I was stuck driving for 2 1/2 hours one way this afternoon. It was a destination that should only take me 45-60 minutes.

I was blessed today though. I spent some quality time with my Aunt Billie. We had some wonderful conversation. When it was close to the time to leave, I walked her to the dining hall. She was one of the first gals there. I sat with her for a little bit to keep her company. We talked about the book I’m writing for her and I couldn’t help but notice the quietness of the room. At first I didn’t think much of it, after all, she was on the early side of lunch.

As the older folks began to come into the dining hall, the silence still existed. It wasn’t quite as quiet, but it was quiet. I looked around and while most of the tables were full, the people weren’t talking with each other. They sat and stared off into space. They ate their meals. They only seemed to perk up when the server came over to ask if they needed anything more. My conclusion about the silence is this. These older folks have run out of things to say to their table mates. They generally sit in the same spot for all their meals. They sit with the same people every day of the week. Most come and eat, then go back to their room until the next meal. So I guess it makes sense that they’ve simply ran out of things to talk about.

I’m sure politics and religion are off the topics of discussion. A lot of these people probably don’t get out much. They go to their doctor appointments. Family comes to visit and those visits are taking place generally on the weekend. I’m sure they all watch much of the same TV programs. If they join in activities, most of the table mates probably engage in those together.

The silence might not have been noticed by most. I’m probably one of, if not the only one who even noticed it.

The quietness of the room was so still you could nearly hear a pin drop. I wonder what was and what goes through the minds of these older folks? Even Aunt Billie today talked about dying. That topic is usually taboo. Not today. Maybe she hears the silence too and wonders how she got to this place. I know she’s not totally happy there. She likes it, but she sure misses her home. Her heart attack last year nearly cost her her life, thankfully it didn’t. It did cost her her home though. At 100 years old, she can’t live on her own anymore. It would be considered elder abuse because she now has a history of health issues.

Have you ever heard that saying, “getting old isn’t for the weak? Today that saying took on an entirely new meaning for me. Growing old is definitely not for the weak. Most of those older folks today are there alone. They’ve lost their spouses. The one table mate of Aunt Billie lost her spouse many many many years ago. She’s been alone for over 20 years now and she only has one child. That child can only come to see his mama a couple times a year. This woman is alone.

Looking around today and hearing the silence in this rather large dining hall made me sad. Going to an assisted living facility means you are surrounded by people your age. But, you don’t have a lot of history with them. It seems like the only thing they have in common is they are living in a “home.”

The more I go and visit, the more stillness I see. Everyone is kind. Everyone is welcoming. Maybe they’re excited to see someone other than their peers. As morbid as it sounds, I can’t help but wonder about the reality many are faced with. Moving into an assisted living facility is knowing it’s your final destination before passing on to another life.

I wanted more than anything to just go and sit with each person in that room today. The ones sitting alone. Some of these folks are way up there in age and many look so frail. Some are brought into the dining hall in a wheelchair. These are the ones escorted by a caregiver.

I wish I knew what to do, if anything. Makes my heart sad walking out the door knowing these old folks can’t leave. I’m not saying they are alone in this world. That I don’t know. I do know they sit in silence in a dining hall. When you have 50+ people in a room, you’d think one would hear conversations. There were a couple, but the room as a whole was silent.

This morning on my walk I met an older woman. Miriam. She lives in one of the house I pass by on my morning walks. Today she had ventured out to the mail box and she struck up a conversation with me. We talked for a good 10-15 minutes. She lost her husband of 54 years a couple months back. She’s still healthy enough to live on her own, but the silence of being alone is now weighing on her.

This kind woman thanked me for taking the time to listen to her. Really it was my pleasure. I’ve always enjoyed talking with people I meet while walking or in a store. Striking up a conversation comes natural. When Miriam and I were done talking, as I walked away, I thought to myself how wonderful it would be to have the resources go and visit every older person in my neighborhood. They are often alone just want someone to talk to. They want to share their stories with someone who will take the time to listen. Much of the time the older people get overlooked and it shouldn’t be that way.

Even though today was a good day, it was a heavy one too. Sometimes I allow myself to get caught up in life. Sometimes I can’t help it. I have medical things to handle. Still, I know I can buy out more time for those in my life who are alone.

Miriam said I made her day because I gave her some of my time. She actually made my day. It felt amazing to converse with this older person. She chose me to open up and talk about the things weighing on her heart. Losing a spouse of 54 years was one of the hardest things she’s ever faced. She needed to express that to someone today. Even if it was to a stranger. I might stop over at her home and leave a card or something at her door. That might brighten another day for her.

I saw this quote and the photo spoke volumes to me. The quote did too, but the photo is priceless.

I am grateful God chose me today to learn the lesson on appreciation. Appreciation for those older then me. One day someone will sit across from me and notice my silence. They might see my blank stare into the unknown. They could wonder what my story is. Maybe I’ll strike up a conversation with a young person walking their pup. Whatever happens, I am not far off from being the older person. I might soon need someone to take a moment to hear me. I hope I’m fortunate. I hope someone will take a moment for an old lady who needs a quick conversation. Nobody want to be alone. Nobody wants to go unheard. I was shown this today.

Is there someone you know who is alone? Is there a way you can manage to make their day? One thing that costs us nothing to give is our time.

Speaking of time, it’s time for me to say goodnight. I hope you all sleep well. I’d love to leave you with one more quote by one of the greats, Ralph Waldo Emerson:

Now that’s something to sleep on. As I lay my head on my pillow I hope to reflect about today. I hope to think about the woman I met and the older folks who sat in silence. I hope my thoughts open doors for me to understand how I can make a difference in someone’s life.

Well guys, my eyes are so heavy. They are begging me to say goodnight to all you wonderful and amazing friends. Sleep well and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.