That Friday feeling

Happy Friday,

We are officially launching the weekend. Did you survive your work week? Even if you’re retired or an at home mom, disabled perhaps, I know you had things to take care of that required your attention, so in a way, that’s your job.

How did it go this past week? I hope all went well and maybe this weekend you’ll get to do something you truly enjoy. Whatever this weekend looks like for you, maybe you take a few moments to simply take care of you since you are so amazing and uniquely made.

I’m one to talk when it comes to taking care of me. It’s not easy however, I am working on taking a little more me time. I’m learning to buy out time to do things I enjoy. Life is short and I don’t want to be remembered as the person who constantly ran around like a chicken with her head cut off. I want to be remembered for being a good, kind, loving and compassionate person. I’m a work in progress but these are qualities I aspire to embrace within myself so those in my life feel and know they are loved and cared about.

Last night my beautiful daughter-in-law to be and my friend Sandy joined me for a paint and sip. Of course the sip is on you. It’s never included with the painting and that’s okay. I don’t understand why it’s called a paint and sip, but that’s for another blog. I did enjoy getting time with my friends and of course my amazing daughter-in-law to be. Before I tell you about Jagger, I wanted to share something else with you.

Something pretty amazing happened last night at our paint and sip. There were 16 ladies who decided it was a good night to paint. Everyone came with someone. Many came in groups. I had a group of three. Well, there was an older woman who came in alone. She asked the instructor where she should sit. She said she was alone. Katrina told her that there was a seat next to us. She walked over and took the seat furthest on the end. Jagger, my future daughter-in-law was running a tad late so I had decided to take the second to the last seat at the other end of the table. My friend Sandy was going to take the end seat. When I noticed this nice older woman sitting alone I felt this need to engage with her in conversation and I’m glad I followed that need.

Kathy is this woman’s name. She’s in her mid to late 70’s. She’s been out of the hospital for three weeks and she spends a lot of time alone. She generally attends paint and sips by herself and she finds a spot where she blends in. She’s quiet and when I met her at the beginning of the night she had a look of sadness on her face.

While talking with Kathy I couldn’t help but think about Sandy and her heart issues, after all, Kathy had just told me that was the reason she was in the hospital. I asked Sandy if she would mind changing seats so she could sit next to Kathy. Sandy did and the two of them spent a lot of time talking. I was fine with that because I got time to talk with Jagger about the wedding, her interview progress with one of the hospitals she’s applied at and I was beyond touched when Jagger said she wanted me to wear a dress to the wedding that was the same color as the bridal party. However, she wants my dress to be the one that sparkles.

Jagger’s mom will be maid of honor and she wanted me to feel just as important as her mom. Jagger said, “you are the mother of the groom and that makes you a very important part of our special day.” I told Jagger that I’ve never worn a dress like what she’s describing. When my oldest got married I had a nice dress but it wasn’t fancy or anything. I had to wear something that was “appropriate” according to my ex and it had to be within a certain price range. Under $100.00. I wasn’t allowed to get my make-up done or my nails.

My son and his bride looked amazing. The mother of the bride looked stunning. Many of the guest looked incredible. I looked nice. I’ll explain a little more in a moment though. First I want to tell you a little more about Kathy.

I was so happy that Sandy and Kathy were talking. When the evening ended and after the group photo Kathy gave Sandy this huge hug. It was one of those hugs that expressed so many feelings Kathy was obviously feeling. The two ladies exchanged numbers and Sandy even invited Kathy to her home to celebrate Easter with her family.

Before we left last night Kathy asked me if she could hug me too. “Of course you can.” She hugged me. Kissed my cheek and whispered to me, “thank you for talking to me tonight. Thank you for introducing me to Sandy. Thank you for helping me not feel so alone and sad.”

Dang, I called that right. I just felt she had or has a story and sadness is a part of it. I don’t know what the story is and that’s okay.

Kathy finished hugging me and said, ” thank you for making me feel like I belonged. You guys made my night. Before I came to paint I had to fight back the tears. I just wanted to cry, so thank you.”

I’m not sure exactly what I did, other then follow this feeling I had that I needed to talk to her and have Sandy talk with her. Everything else was out of my hands. I did tell Sandy today that I feel strongly that God was guiding all of us last night to meet and welcome a new friend into our lives. I’m glad Kathy will get to meet Sandy’s family and enjoy celebrating Easter with them. Kathy’s in good hands because she’s about to embark on meeting and getting to know some pretty amazing people. I’ll update you next week and let you know how Easter went for Sandy and Kathy. I’m sure they will all have a wonderful day.

Anyway, back to my conversation with Jagger. I was so excited when she said she wanted me to wear something that stands out. Jagger wants me to be set apart from the rest of the guests and I was and still am speechless. She picked out a dress that is so beautiful. She wants me to look beautiful for her wedding. Me! She wants me to look beautiful. Feel beautiful and she wants me to feel special. It’s her wedding day, and she’s including me.

Below are a couple of the dresses she has in mind. She has a couple others she likes, but below are what she’s come up so far. Thoughts?

I think it’s time to get my booty back to the gym. My son will walk me down the isle to my seat and this is perhaps the last time I get this honor. Tommy walked me down the isle and now Kevin will. It’s our final moment together before he becomes a married man. As a mother-in-law I know my place is to support my daughter-in-law as my sons wife and I’m okay with that. I’m okay that my role has changed in his life. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

It’s upon my request that my boys walk me down the isle to my seat. I want those moments with him to express just how much I love them and to let him know how proud of the woman he chose. Both of my boys chose the woman of our dreams. I could not have chosen any better for them. I have not one, but two young women I am honored to call my daughter. Jagger even said last night, “you’re not losing a son, you are gaining a daughter.” She always melts my heart.

I feel beyond blessed that Jagger wants me to be a part of her wedding day without actually being in the wedding. She wants me to stand out which is so different then what was required of me when I was married to my ex. Kaitlyn wanted her mom and I to have beautiful dresses too but my ex had a different opinion of that. This time, I’m getting the dress Jagger wants me to wear and I’m going to work my booty off to get my sexy back. I mean, those dresses will require a little less jiggle and a lot more tone. I want to look good and feel good.

Below is a photo of Jagger and I last night. Isn’t she stunning. I love her so much and I love how much she loves Kevin, but more than that, I love how much he loves her, respects her and cares for her. Just to think about the beautiful grandbabies she and my son will give me. Three more years, but they’ll be worth the wait.

And below is a photo of what I painted last night. Something feels like it’s missing from the painting but I’ll figure that out later. I still have a few more things to do for Easter and tomorrow is Aunt Billie’s 100th birthday celebration, so I’m running out of time. I get the honor of making lemon bars for her party. Fingers crossed they turn out yummy.

I finally hung my ginormous Easter wreath this past week too. What do you think? I love the lights on it. I’m happy with the results. Below is a photo:

One more thing I did this past week was finish off what I thought was missing from my window valance I made. I love the way the ribbon hangs however, it felt blah to me, so I added some Easter eggs to it and I love it. What do you think? The before and after. How do you vote?

Before:

After:

I love walking downstairs in the morning and seeing my completed window. Makes me happy. When I surround myself with my decorations it helps take away some of my stress. Because I was having those issues at the beginning of the year getting my insurance fixed so I could stay with UCSD I wasn’t able to keep some of my doctor appointments therefore, I’ve had to not only double up on doctor visits, but triple up on them this month. I’ve got 15 total doctor visits for April alone. May isn’t too bad, but holy heck, 15 in one month is a lot, especially on days that I need to get up so early. Those days are the hardest, but that’s for another blog.

Overall this week has been good to me. I was blessed to get some extra help from John. John, Grant and I got to enjoy a sushi dinner with both Jagger and Kaitlyn followed by Acai bowls on Tuesday. I got to paint with Jagger and Sandy on Thursday and today, I got to just be home. I even had some time alone at home. I can’t remember the last time I got that. I love having John work from home but sometimes just being home alone is nice, though I was excited when he did get home after his afternoon and evening in San Diego.

Life is a journey. It’s always giving us something we didn’t plan for and sometimes that’s hard for me. I like to have a plan for the day, for the week and month. I keep my calendar by me at all times. When a wrench is thrown into my mix, I struggle. When too much is on my plate, I struggle. When life doesn’t allow me to just be home and enjoy my surroundings, I struggle. When I have to be gone everyday I struggle, but thanks to all of you for always cheering me on, I make it through each day knowing I get to come back and write to you.

Writing is healing and healing is in my writing. It’s probably one of, if not my greatest passion, even on day’s I write and ramble. I’m a rambler, a talker and a people person. John’s right, I get my energy from interacting with you. Thank you for always being her and showing up for me. You are so amazing and I’m grateful to have you in and apart of my life.

Well guys, I’m going to call it a night. I’m a little tired now and I do need to get up and bake tomorrow, so I’ll be saying good night to all you amazing friends of mine.

Oh, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.