Mean people

Happy Tuesday,

How are you doing on this extremely windy Tuesday? Holy heck is it windy today. I can’t remember the last time I saw the winds this bad. If you have to be out on this wacky windy day, please be careful. This type of weather isn’t a good combination for driving or just being out.

Today I’m blessed to be home. Grant’s home sick, so I get to be home. Fire is lit, pups and I are snuggled up on the couch just enjoying some diamond art, a little YouTube and I did watch a movie, Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan.

I suppose that’s one of the reasons for this blog topic, but it’s not the only reason. You see, I think God works in ways to use us to remind others of how our actions can affect people.

While I was watching Mean Girls a dear friend of mine reached out to me telling me how a complete stranger threatened her. This person tracked her down after she saw something of Facebook and decided to threaten her. Once the movie was over another friend reached out to me to tell me how she was being bullied by her mother. I asked what happened and you’ll be shocked to hear how crazy this situation is. Take a seat, cause this is the craziest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

My friend who lives in Murrieta said her dad called her to say that her mom is so angry with her. She asked why, what did I do? His reply was: Murrieta is on high alert because of the winds expected today. I’m so mad at ‘our daughter’ because she’s hurt me so bad. She sided with her friend over me.

The situation in question, happened nearly 2 1/2 years ago. My friend refused to side with either her mom or her friend over a situation that is and was so trivial that the details basically are, the mom and the friend had a disagreement. The friend apologized for the mean things she said to the mom. The mom refuses to accept the apology and expected her daughter to no longer be friends with her long time friend.

My friend agreed that her friend was wrong for the disrespect shown to her mother. However, her friend did apologize. Her friend wrote her mom a really nice letter of apology. Her friend sent flowers and asked what else could she do to gain the forgiveness of the mom. The mom refused on all levels to accept any form of apology and went to the extreme of telling her daughter if she didn’t end her friendship with this person, she wouldn’t speak to her any longer. My friend said she wouldn’t take sides. She told her mom that the friend had gone above and beyond to apologize and begged her mom to just let it go. Her mom to this day still refuses. Her mom and dad moved into a new home and has stopped talking to her daughter. The mom won’t invite or allow her daughter to come to her home. The mom has even reached out to my friends ex husband and shared things with him that were personal about her daughter. This level of mean, I can’t even begin to comprehend. I don’t get it.

How sad that a high wind advisory would bring this to the fore all over again. This level of hate towards your own flesh and blood. The anger towards your daughter because she’s asked you to just let it go. The level of contempt towards someone who apologized over and over and over again, unbelievable.

My take on this. You don’t like your grown adult daughters friend. Fine. Don’t engage with her. Don’t come to your daughters home if she’s there. Hate and to feel contempt towards your own daughter and to stop speaking to her for over 2 years? Lady, you’ve got serious issues. To say because of a high wind advisory in your daughters city where she lives is causing you to become angry with her all over again. Check yourself into a hospital and get yourself some mental health help. This isn’t normal by any stretch of the imagination. To tell your husband to call your daughter and tell her you want a sit down talk to re-hash all the past drama and you want another apology for something that was laid to rest a couple years back, not normal.

What causes someone to be mean?

A common cause of meanness is low self-esteem and insecurity. These can lead to mean behaviors as a way to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. By building self-esteem and confidence, you can learn to regain control over feeling mean, and to treat others (and yourself) more kindly .Jun 26, 2024.- https://williamsburgtherapygroup.com/blog/why-am-i-so-mean-to-people#:~:text=Another%20common%20cause%20of%20meanness,(and%20yourself)%20more%20kindly.

Not only did I get these two situations brought to my attention today, I had yet another. Another friend called to talk while her daughter was in her therapy session. She was crying and telling me how devastated she feels because her daughter is lacking in humility and has become mean not only towards her, but her 3 sisters.

As our conversation continued she continued to tell me that her daughter feels superior to others. Says she smarter then most people and doesn’t belong in therapy with a phycologist. She’s above their level of expertise. She needs a physiatrist.

This brings me to the topic of, what causes girls to be mean? Well, I had to look it up and found there is something called mean girls syndrome.

What is the mean girl syndrome?

Mean girl behavior is often relational aggression, or alternative aggression, an indirect but harmful form of social bullying. Unlike physical harm, those who engage in relationship aggression want to make a person look bad to others, to bring them down or take away what the other person has. Nov 15, 2022-“https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/advise-me/how-to-deal-with-a-grown-up-mean-girl#:~:text=Mean%20girl%20behavior%20is%20often,what%20the%20other%20person%20has.“

What mental illness causes you to be mean?

Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) involves frequent episodes of impulsive anger that’s out of proportion to the event that triggered it. These outbursts can result in physical harm to the person with IED, other people or animals. “https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17786-intermittent-explosive-disorder#:~:text=Intermittent%20explosive%20disorder%20(IED)%20involves,IED%2C%20other%20people%20or%20animals.“

My dear readers, there is so much to unravel here regarding mean people. Mean girls and I’m sure mean men.

“It’s so unfortunate because people have become so comfortable being mean.”-Rachael Lindsay.

One of the truest statements I’ve heard in a long time. Isn’t it sad how being mean is as easy as brushing your teeth or going to the potty.

There’s so much more we can say that we could spend hours talking about mean people. I’ve experienced my share of mean people and I’m sure you have too.

How do we handle mean people?

5 polite phrases that will disarm rude people instantly: Here are some phrases that may work when presented with a mean person :

1. “I appreciate your perspective” …

2. “I apologize if I’ve given the wrong impression” …

3. “Let me consider your point” …

4. “I understand this can be frustrating” …

5. “Can we find a middle ground?…”

Nov 17, 2023

Times of Indiahttps://timesofindia.indiatimes.com.

If these don’t work, then perhaps we excuse ourselves and walk away. Nobody deserves to be treated in a mean fashion. Nobody deserves this kind of abuse and yes, when someone is mean to us, it’s a form of abuse. It’s meant to demean us and lower our self-esteem.

There are so many different types of abuse and I know over the last couple of blogs we’ve talked in great deal about this very subject and with the overwhelming amount of calls I received today about different types of meanness in my friends lives, I thought this was a must to share.

The world needs a lot more love and kindness. We aren’t better then anyone. We aren’t above others. I like a line I heard in Mean Girls today: “Just because we call someone stupid, it doesn’t make us smarter. Just because we call someone fat, that doesn’t make us thinner.” The point is. putting someone down to elevate ourselves tears not only the other person down, but makes us that much weaker in life.

We need to think before we speak. We need to be kind and show the same grace we want others to show us.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”-Amelia Earhart.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs