Happy Sunday,
How are you all doing on this fabulous Sunday evening? The weekend is nearing it’s end and tomorrow is Monday. It’s also Veterans Day. It’s also the day my granny passed away back in 2021. Gosh I miss her.
Maybe because tomorrow is not only Veterans Day but the anniversary of my granny’s passing that I am missing my daddy so much. Just the day of her passing I’m remembering how wonderful she was and how blessed I was to have her until she was 94 years old. I missed out on so much time with her the last couple of years she was here on this earth and for that time I missed, I know I’ll never get it back. I am grateful for the time I did have with her though. She was an incredible lady. I’ll have to tell you more about her in some upcoming blogs.
My dad passed away in June of 2020. He was 74 and way to young to leave this world, but it was his time and he needed to go. He was in pain and his quality of life was diminished. I think of him often and when I seem to miss him most, a butterfly appears. I was even lucky to see a photo of the Monarch Butterfly over on Anthony’s blog site, Anthony’s Crazy Love and Life Lessons in Empathy: https://empathmuch.wordpress.com. Go check it out, you’ll love it I promise.
Anyway, the last couple of days I see my dad almost everywhere I go. I hear songs that remind me of him. I see things that remind me of him. His presence is everywhere lately. He was a good man that was gone from my life for way too long and when he came back, I lost him again, way too soon and this time, when he left it was for good. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but that wasn’t for me to decide. It was simply his time to go.
Tonight as I was scrolling my Facebook, a memory popped up and it was of my dad and his visit to California back in 2016. It was the first time I had seen him in over 30 years.
When he arrived I was at the airport to pick him up. It was the most amazing visit and we had the most wonderful talks. We talked about everything from the good, the bad and the not so good. Many years of truths were talked about and things that had been weighing on both of us. Dad’s visit was a time to not only reunite, catch up, but make a mends for all the lost years.
Dad said the most loving thing to me with a tear in his eye, “you should hate me. You should not forgive me for leaving you.” All I could say was, “that’s all I needed to hear. I’ve never hated you. I’ve loved you and missed you everyday of my life.”
Even though so much time had passed, I was beyond grateful for having him back in my life and I was blessed for the time I did get with him. I’ll forever treasure every moment we shared and I’ll continue to miss him every day.
Below are some photos from my dad’s visit:
My oldest son Tommy, his wife Kaitlynn and my daddy walking on the San Clemente Pier:
My dad looking out at the ocean. He hadn’t seen it in years:
My daddy in Old Town Temecula. There were tons of antique cars and he wanted his photo taken with this beauty:
This was my daddy and I miss him every day. He left me and my brothers sooner then we were ready for. Funny, I don’t think we would have ever been ready to say goodbye. I suppose that’s why we don’t get to decide the time we or our loved ones die, it’s out of our hands and that’s a good thing.
“Every single day, I look into the world and I see you in everything, everywhere. You have become my guiding light and night and the sun every day. Sometimes to even say “I miss you” feels strange, because I know, somehow, that you are right here.”-aimhappy.com.
Rest in peace daddy. Rest in peace granny and rest in peace to all those loved ones in each and everyone of our lives.
Well guys, I need to say goodnight for now. Until net time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.
Love Life with Dawna 
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful memory. Sounds like you had an amazing dad. I’m sure every time those butterflies fly by it’s him. 🦋 ❤️
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Aww, thank you Anthony. I know he’s here with every butterfly that flutters by. Hugs
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I think so too
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It’s good he had to courage to come back into your life. I lnow you are grateful.
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I’m glad too. He was a man of many mistakes and he paid for them dearly and the best gift he ever gave me was not making any excuses, he only gave me his heartfelt apology. His regrets in life where his punishment that even I couldn’t take away, though I wish I could have.
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Perhaps Los Dios de Muertos and All Souls Day prompt some of those memories, or maybe, Granny and your dad are reminding you how much they love you. I don’t think our loved ones ever leave us, Dawna. They are still with us, just in a different way. I’m happy you have loving memories. Hugs, Girlfriend.
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I agree with you, I don’t think they ever leave us either. I feel dad near all the time, I just wish I could feel my granny too.
I don’t know much about Los Dios Muertos and All Souls Day. I’ll be sure to look those up.
Hugs to you too my dear friend. Enjoy your day
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I can feel the deep love and loss you carry for both your dad and your granny. The special moments you had with them, especially the time with your dad in California, are such a beautiful testament to God’s grace in giving you that time to reconnect and heal. Even though saying goodbye is never easy and we’re never fully ready, I believe that God gives us just what we need to cherish those moments and hold on to His peace.
Rest in peace to your dad, your granny, and all those we miss. God bless you and your family, may He continue to be your comfort and your guiding light.
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Awww, thank you Mr. Torres. I can’t tell you how much your kind words have touched my heart. I never thought of it the way you put it, but your right, God does give us what we need to cherish the moments and to hold onto His Peace.
My heart still hurts for the loss of my dad and yet, it’s at peace knowing I did have the time with him to heal our relationship and to allow him to let go of some of his regrets. I think he needed me to forgive him as much as he needed to forgive himself.
I pray that through my many losses and heartbreaks I can be a guiding light to others.
May God continue to bless you and your family as you continue shining light on His word. You have such a kind heart.
Much love and hugs to you and your family my dear friend.
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Beautiful memories and a lovely tribute ❤️
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Thank you.
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Like this
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Hello Dawna,
The expression “one person is missing and everything is depopulated” is taken from the poem “Isolation” by Lamartine.
L’expression « un seul être vous manque et tout est dépeuplé » est extraite du poème « L’isolement » de Lamartine
***
L’isolement
Alphonse de Lamartine
Souvent sur la montagne, à l’ombre du vieux chêne,
Au coucher du soleil, tristement je m’assieds ;
Je promène au hasard mes regards sur la plaine,
Dont le tableau changeant se déroule à mes pieds.
Ici, gronde le fleuve aux vagues écumantes ;
Il serpente, et s’enfonce en un lointain obscur ;
Là, le lac immobile étend ses eaux dormantes
Où l’étoile du soir se lève dans l’azur.
Au sommet de ces monts couronnés de bois sombres,
Le crépuscule encor jette un dernier rayon,
Et le char vaporeux de la reine des ombres
Monte, et blanchit déjà les bords de l’horizon.
Cependant, s’élançant de la flèche gothique,
Un son religieux se répand dans les airs,
Le voyageur s’arrête, et la cloche rustique
Aux derniers bruits du jour mêle de saints concerts.
Mais à ces doux tableaux mon âme indifférente
N’éprouve devant eux ni charme ni transports,
Je contemple la terre ainsi qu’une ombre errante :
Le soleil des vivants n’échauffe plus les morts.
De colline en colline en vain portant ma vue,
Du sud à l’aquilon, de l’aurore au couchant,
Je parcours tous les points de l’immense étendue,
Et je dis : « Nulle part le bonheur ne m’attend. »
Que me font ces vallons, ces palais, ces chaumières,
Vains objets dont pour moi le charme est envolé ?
Fleuves, rochers, forêts, solitudes si chères,
Un seul être vous manque, et tout est dépeuplé.
Que le tour du soleil ou commence ou s’achève,
D’un oeil indifférent je le suis dans son cours ;
En un ciel sombre ou pur qu’il se couche ou se lève,
Qu’importe le soleil ? je n’attends rien des jours.
Quand je pourrais le suivre en sa vaste carrière,
Mes yeux verraient partout le vide et les déserts ;
Je ne désire rien de tout ce qu’il éclaire,
Je ne demande rien à l’immense univers.
Mais peut-être au-delà des bornes de sa sphère,
Lieux où le vrai soleil éclaire d’autres cieux,
Si je pouvais laisser ma dépouille à la terre,
Ce que j’ai tant rêvé paraîtrait à mes yeux !
Là, je m’enivrerais à la source où j’aspire ;
Là, je retrouverais et l’espoir et l’amour,
Et ce bien idéal que toute âme désire,
Et qui n’a pas de nom au terrestre séjour !
Que ne puis-je, porté sur le char de l’Aurore,
Vague objet de mes vœux, m’élancer jusqu’à toi !
Sur la terre d’exil pourquoi restè-je encore ?
Il n’est rien de commun entre la terre et moi.
Quand la feuille des bois tombe dans la prairie,
Le vent du soir s’élève et l’arrache aux vallons ;
Et moi, je suis semblable à la feuille flétrie :
Emportez-moi comme elle, orageux aquilons !
Alphonse de Lamartine, Méditations poétiques
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My heartfelt condolences to you and yours
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words
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