Family

Happy Wednesday everyone,

How are you doing? We’ve officially made it to the half way point of the typical work week. Two more days and the weekend will be upon us again. I can’t wait. I have no plans for this weekend and I am excited to just be home and twiddling around, unpacking more of Johns things and enjoying some down time before next week hits.

Next week will for sure be a learning curve. I’ll be taking Grant to and from school everyday, which will be a part time job for me. He is getting his license soon, so that will be nice, until then, he’ll have front seat chauffer service.

I’ve also taken on the task of helping my older boys with their new business. My oldest son has had his own restoration company for nearly 10 years now, however, his younger brother will now be part owner. The boys figured it be best to close down Tommy’s company and start brand new under a new name. I’m excited for them, yet a little nervous. They both have set the bar pretty high for what they want to achieve. I know they can do it, but it’s going to be hours and hours of nothing but work. Glad they like each other.

In all honesty, the boys are best friends. I’m beyond blessed that their better half’s like each other too. The boys were telling me the other day when they were here that the four of them get together at least once a week to go to dinner or a concert or something. I’m so happy about that. The four of them will always be family and have each other. In the meantime, this mama bear will be helping her sons launch their business and hopefully show them how to market in a very competitive market.

Once I know the name they’ve chosen for their company, I’ll be sharing that with all of you. Anyway, I just wanted to share how excited I am for Tommy and Kevin and more then that, how proud I am of the two of them. Wishing them both all the happiness and success in the world.

Knowing my boys have decided to work together makes me not only proud, but happy. I am so grateful that in whatever it is I did in raising them, they became not only family and brothers, but friends as well.

This past week I’ve been surrounded by nothing but family. I’ve had my brother and his three kiddos staying with John, Grant and I and I was blessed on Sunday to have all my nieces here along with my older sons and their gals. I also got to spend lots of time with my sis.

As I sit here reflecting on the time I’ve had with family and friends this past week, I can’t help but thank God for blessing me with so many wonderful people in my life. I just pray I never take any of them for granted. Life is so short and I realized that even more so with my brother being here.

Jimmy and I spent the majority of our lives apart. We weren’t raised together and while that makes me sad, I am grateful to have him in my life now. He’s amazing and I don’t want to miss out on anymore time with him and the kiddos. Before I know it, Landon will be graduating and launching into his own life. Tryston is right behind him and then there’s Katelynn. She might only be 10, but she’s growing up quickly. The last time I spent quality time with her, she was 3. I’ve missed out on 7 years of her life, time I’ll never get back.

Coming to a realization about this makes me appreciate I’ve been given a second chance to buy out more time with them. Jimmy suggested me coming back to Oklahoma for extended weekends. I will be taking advantage of that suggestion and I will be heading back to Oklahoma a little more often.

I have been blessed to watch all my other nieces grow up, well except one. I’ll most likely never have a relationship with her. She’s nearly 14 and I’ve only seen her 4-5 times in her entire life. She’s my brother Jesse’s daughter and he is fully indoctrinated in the cult in which I left, so he won’t allow me any contact with Hope. While it makes me sad, I understand it. Him shunning me and cutting me out of his life is how he was taught and when a person is so indoctrinated in a cult, they follow the teachings, right or wrong, they follow them because they believe them.

We’ll talk about the shunning policy again in a future blog, but for now, let’s finish talking about family.

Jesse and his wife recently had another baby, a little boy. The only reason I know about the child is from other family members who were never in the cult. My mother still reaches out to our Aunt Billie, so from time to time, I do get an update about some big news, like the welcoming of another baby.

When I stop and think about the non existent relationship I have with my mother and her two children, I realize, I don’t want to have those same type of relationships with my other brothers.

God has given me 5 brothers and a sister and I want to build up the relationships that are lacking with my siblings who want relationships. Time is slipping away. I’ll be 56 here in a few weeks and while I hopefully have a lot of life left, time will be gone in the blink of an eye.

I want relationships with my siblings, and with my nieces and nephews. I have wonderful sons and I want them all to enjoy time with their cousins, the way I enjoyed time with mine.

Having Jimmy and the kiddos here was so seamless. I don’t think any of us thought about half-sibling, adopted kiddos or anything like that. I believe whole-heartedly we all thought the same thing. We are family.

Jimmy and John by all rights are brothers-in-law. While John and I don’t have a piece of paper saying we are legally married, we love each other like we are. Landon, Tryston and Grant might not all share DNA, yet they are cousins, the same as Tommy and Kevin are to Jimmy’s kiddos who share the same DNA.

This past week I had our family here with us. I am so excited to have more time with Jimmy. He’s my brother and I want us to always have a close bond. I want to celebrate holidays together and I want us to continue in life knowing we have each other. Heck, I want that with all my siblings.

None of us asked to be born into the craziness of split and blended families, but here we are, so I figure, God put us together for a reason. Maybe he knew that we needed each other. Whatever the reason is that God made us family, it doesn’t matter, because there’s no changing it. Some of us share DNA, while some of us don’t, however, when we sit around the table, we see family.

I reached out to my sis Jeannie this morning and told her how much Tryston appreciated the time he spent with her hubby James and how much he will cherish the gifts James gave to him. Jeannie’s reply, “he’s your nephew, he’s ours. We’re family.”

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”-Desmond Tutu.

I am beyond grateful for the family God gave me. We all come from different backgrounds, yet, we all have one thing that will always be our strength. We have love for each other and we have each other’s back. My sis Jeannie instantly became auntie to Jimmy’s kids. She opened her arms and her heart to each of them and I believe with all certainty, they opened their hearts and arms to her. She is their Auntie Jeannie.

“Families don’t have to match. You don’t have to look like someone else to love them.”-Leigh Anne Tuohy.

God guided John and I to cross paths and fall in love. God blended John and I together as one and we’ve been blessed with 4 sons and extended family on both sides. God helped me find my dad and my other two brothers and he guided John and I to the lake where we’ve found the best friends in the world who we call framily. I have a girl tribe and John has a guy group. We’ve certainly been blessed.

I think I speak on behalf of both John and myself, our hearts are running over from the love we have for and from our family and framily members.

“Family isn’t defined only by last names or by blood; it’s defined by commitment and by love. It means showing up when they need it most. It means having each other’s backs. It means choosing to love each other even on those days when you struggle to like each other. It means never giving up on each other.”-Dave Willis.

And there you have it. My take on family.

My dear readers, I wish nothing but love and happiness for each of you. I pray you have people in your life you can call family. I hope if there are strained relationships that you can find your way to healing them and if not, I hope you are able to wish those lost loved ones happiness on their chosen paths. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter where our roots came from. It doesn’t matter if we were planted under a different tree, what matters is no matter where our branches grow, we remain planted by the love we’ve built with our family, framily and friends.

My family and framily, it’s where my heart is.

Thank you for your time reading today’s blog. I have to get ready now for my 4 MRI’s. Wish me luck. You know how much I hate being confined in that tube. My anxiety level is already through the roof. UGH!!

Until next time my family and friends, take care of yourself and don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.