Miss you daddy, happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day Sunday,

How are you all doing on this amazing Sunday morning? Happy Father’s Day to all you wonderful and amazing dad’s and step-in-dad’s out there. I hope you have a day full of love and of making wonderful memories.

Today is a special, yet sad day for me. My dad had to go away before I was ready to let him go. While I know he’s no longer suffering, it still makes my heart sad not being able to call him up and wish him the happiest of Father’s Days. It makes me sadder to know I never got to celebrate a single Father’s Day him.

My mother and dad weren’t together, not really anyway, but if I did get to see my dad on Father’s Day it would have been before I was two. My mother joined a cult just after my second birthday and from that time on, holiday’s and celebrations were always off the table.

Every Father’s Day I always had a void in my heart. I always thought about my dad and wondered where he was and what he was doing. I wondered if he thought of me too. Throughout my life, I longed for time with daddy and when that day finally came, I had missed over 40 Father’s Days. My biggest regret is that on Father’s Day after finding my daddy, I never got to spend a single one with him.

You know it’s said, dad’s are a daughters first love and I believe that’s true. Whether on earth or in heaven above, my dad will forever be held up high above on the biggest pedestal there could ever be.

I got 5 years getting to know my daddy again. Five years before he took his final breath here on earth. We had so many ups with a few downs, but loving my dad only grew stronger. He was my rock during some of my deepest, darkest moments.

I lived so much of my life to make him proud of me. I wanted to create this perfect life so that when I did find him he would be proud of me. I had dreams of reuniting dad with all his children and he never got the chance to say his final goodbyes to my brother John. I’m sorry John I didn’t find you sooner. You would have loved dad and I know he loved you, despite never being there. He told me once when we were at my cabin in the mountains, “I never forgot any of my children. I loved you all. I just didn’t know how to be a father when you three older kids were born.”

Dad carried a lot of regrets and he made mistakes that hurt those he loved. He made mistakes that hurt him too, but at the end, I think God knows, he made peace with his creator for the lost years with his kids.

Dad didn’t marry easy either. He had some very determined women in his life. There’s five of us kids and our three moms, well, they loved us the best they knew how, but they weren’t the greatest of choices dad made, yet, without those choices the five of us wouldn’t be here. So, some greatness came from our moms loving and marrying our dad.

Dad, I want you to know something, I only ever wanted you. I wish you would have taken me with you. You told me you left me behind because you thought I’d have a better life, but that was never the case with my mother, but I suppose I couldn’t wish for things to have been any different, because to wish for different would mean I wouldn’t have my incredible sons. They are my world and they are not only a part of me, but a part of you too dad.

If I could have one lifetime with a dream that would come true, I’d pray to God with all my heart, for yesterday and you. In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one else can fill. You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too… but I never wanted memories Daddy, I only wanted you.

Today is Father’s Day and many of us have an emptiness within our hearts because our daddy’s have left this world, so if your daddy is still in your life and here on earth, I hope you can spend some time with him today.

“When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say, She’s got her father’s eyes. Her father’s eyes. Eyes that find the good in things when good in not around.”-Amy Grant.

Daddy, I’m proud to be your daughter and I’m proud I look just like you.

I miss you dad. Until we meet again, I love you and from me to you, Happy Father’s Day. Oh, the boys, your sons, they miss you too. Please watch over them. They might be strong, independent men, but they still love and miss you. We all do.

With love from your loving children, Donny, John, Dawna-Rae, Donald and Jimmy and your grandchildren too. You left us way too soon and we will be missing you until we meet again.

Heaven holds an amazing are remarkable man in heaven, our dad.

To all the dad’s in heaven and on earth, Happy Father’s Day.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.