The drift

Happy Wednesday,

How is everyone on this bright Wednesday afternoon? We are officially halfway through yet another week. I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. Crazy how busy things have been. Any big plans for the weekend? Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, I’d love to hear from you, and if you could, I would be forever grateful if you would hit the like button and perhaps you could follow me? This way, you won’t ever miss an upload.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those that have already subscribed to my blog and to those who will begin following me. The support I’ve received is phenomenal and I couldn’t be more grateful to everyone who takes time out of their day to read my writing. Hugs to each of you.

I had my therapy session this morning by way of Zoom. Dr. Gomez is amazing. Today she had me working on releasing things that I’ve always believed to be true. She said, “it’s a work in progress to get through all the layers, but you’re on the right path.” Being validated by my doctor feels good. I know I’m not crazy. She validates my pain along with the tension I carry from years of trauma. She also told me today, “stop comparing yourself to those that are physically and mentally stronger than you. Your body has been through a lot and right now, your brain is still healing. It’s okay to be brain tired, it’s to be expected.”

During my session we were diving into relationships and my unhealthy mindset to always have things done. We also talked about boundaries and how it’s more then okay to set them. You see, I had to change my in person visit for this Friday to today having a Zoom call. I’ had something urgent come up for Friday, so I asked Dr. Gomez if it would be okay to do a Zoom call instead. She asked me how that felt me needing to reschedule. I explained to her that it was hard for me to do. I felt like I wasn’t honoring a commitment. During our session she helped me reason that sometimes the need to reschedule is okay. Life happens.

My session today has taken me back to my past, to different relationships I’ve had over the years. Friendships, family relationships, work, my childhood, my non-existent relationship with my mother. The relationships that are no longer in my life. I carry a sense of guilt over them. I often question myself. I often wonder what I could have done differently to maintain the relationship. Guess what, in a lot of those non-existent relationships, it wasn’t all me. The relationship with my mother is her choice to not speak to me, simply because I left the cult she raised me in. I’m bad association in her mind and by shunning me, she is hopeful this will bring me back to her religion/cult and to her God.

Recently I had a really close friend stop talking to me. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out what I did. I’ve sent her cards, I’ve texted her, tried calling a couple of times and crickets. She was a friend to me when I needed someone the most. When I had nobody to turn to, she was there. I’ll keep reaching out from time to time, because no matter what, she means a lot to me, at the same time, I need to hold onto the idea that she’s maybe going through some growing pains of her own right now. She must need the space to heal something in her life and if I did do something to hurt her to the point of never speaking to me again, well, I hope she can at least look back on our time together with fond memories. She is one of the most giving and kind hearted people I know.

I saw this quote this morning and wow, it really hit home. The Universe works in wonderful and amazing ways. God knows what we need at the right times and I needed to hear/read this:

Let’s talk about the drift in friendship.

There wasn’t a falling out.

Nothing terrible happened.

You’re not mad, and you’re fairly certain they aren’t either, but there is a space between you. You’ve lost touch, you’ve grown apart, you’ve moved on.

Sometimes you feel guilty about it, and sometimes you wonder what exactly happened, but mostly you just hope they’re doing good and that they know how much you will always care about them.

That’s the drift.

There’s nothing wrong with you for losing touch, there’s nothing bad or disloyal about growing apart. It’s a natural part of life. Your paths were side by side, and at some point you reached a fork in the road. They stayed in their lane, and you stayed in yours.

There’s no hard feelings, no wishing of anything, but well, it’s just life.

Shake off the guilt, let go of the shame, release the questions.

Let’s normalize the drift. Let’s normalize cheering on the friends we’ve lost touch with from a distance. Let’s normalize being completely for someone with out being in their life anymore.

That friendship, it mattered, so much, and losing touch doesn’t detract from that one tiny bit.

Some friendships are for seasons, and some are for the long haul. Both are precious. Celebrate the friendships you have now, and be open to the ones coming, life is full of surprises, and your path is exactly where you belong.

Unknown.

I think this thought can extend to all relationships. Why is it that when people go their own way, at times, they or we carry resentment? Sometimes we simply grow in different directions and that’s more then fair.

Each and everyone of us is on our own path. It’s supposed to be that way. In a marital relationship, many of those are amazing and wonderful, and some, not so great. Sometimes relationships end, though sad, they are in the best interest of both parties.

When I left my controlling ex husband, I never left with the purpose of hurting him. I didn’t leave with the mindset of destroying his character. I truly meant it when I told him I wished him nothing but happiness, however, he refused to accept any of that. I didn’t want to sit and hash out he said I said with him. I just wanted peace. I craved and needed to feel safe in my own home and no words were acceptable to him.

My drift in my marriage came when I couldn’t believe the same as he did. I wanted to share my thoughts and ideas to only be met with “your crazy for thinking that way, or, what your saying and thinking isn’t allowed in my home. I’m head of this household and you will do as I say.”

My drift in my friendship with my friend? I suppose we just took different life path’s.

While I miss parts of my old life, I have grown to love being able to openly express my thoughts and ideas. At the same time, perhaps for the first time in my life, over the last 6 years or so, I’ve been able to ask questions and learn from people who have different beliefs and ideas about this life we are all part of.

I have a partner in my life that will talk to me, with me and when I express something new that I’ve learned, even if he doesn’t agree, he validates what I’m saying. Often he’ll ask me questions, not because he’s trying to change me, but because he’s trying to help me see the broader picture, and sometimes, he sincerely wants to understand my feelings. He’s showing me it’s okay to thin gray instead of black and white.

Sometimes when I learn something new or when I take a master writing course and I have the fire lite under my boot to take chances with my writing. When I become inspired, holy heck, I feel like a kid immersed in a book, living the perfect fairytale life. All those fairytale and adventure books I used to read, now I’m the main character on my own journey. It’s simply amazing.

We all need to be the main character in our own life. It’s a true blessing when we can share life with someone that brings out the best in us. Who wants to see us reach for the stars. It’s a blessing when every once in awhile, someone special in our life grabs the biggest and brightest star for us. This helps us to remember how much we are loved and valued in their life.

“I hope beautiful things happen to you and when they do, I hope you can believe you are worthy of every single of of them.”-Unknown.

The many different drifts in life, they aren’t all that bad. Sometimes they are needed so each of us can grow into who we are truly meant to be. Sometimes we lose relationships and we don’t know why. That hurts. Grieve the loss and maybe someday, you’ll find your way back to what once we thought was lost.

“Memories of friendship will always have a special place in your heart. The best thing you can do is smile and let it go.”-Unknown.

Relationships may fade, but the memories we made will always remain. And this my dear readers, is my blog for today.

Thank you for stopping by and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.