Believe in you

Happy Tuesday,

How is everyone doing on this amazing Tuesday afternoon? Did you enjoy your three day weekend? I’d love to hear all about it, so shoot me a text or drop me a comment. Please hit the like button and subscribe to my blog, I’d really appreciate it.

These past couple of weeks have been super busy and crazy to say the least. Trying to get things packed up for John’s move to the lake has kept me extra busy. It was nice being able to take a break this past weekend from all the boxing and tossing of things.

John and I had a nice weekend together at the the lake. He was so sweet and went to my friends daughters funeral with me, then we went to help out with Fiesta Days. By the time Saturday was done, I was done. We enjoyed just hanging out together watching a movie outside on our new outdoor screen. Sunday was super busy. John went to breakfast with the guys then we went out and celebrated my amazing daughter-in-law at Shogun, followed by arcade games at Round 1. Nothing like an arcade to make you feel like a kiddo again.

With so much going on lately, it’s put me in a place of reflection. Thank goodness I have a therapist too, especially for those moments of not being able to understand why certain people in our lives, those that you love and care about bite back and choose to treat you like you don’t matter. Breathe in. 1.2.3.4.5. Breathe out, slowly, 1.2.3.4.5.

I think sometimes we just have to step back from a situation and let people figure it out on their own. As hard as it is to intentionally watch someone chose the wrong path, ultimately, it’s their choice to make. I need to accept the things I cannot change and embrace the things I can.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”-Reinhold Niebuhr.

I love this quote. It really speaks volumes on how we need to look at different situations. I’m a helper and a fixer by nature. I want to make things better for those I love and care about. I don’t want anyone to suffer the consequences of poor choices, but that’s not for me to decide. Like John always says, “you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.”

We can offer suggestions to those in our world, but we cannot impose our beliefs on them. We cannot make someone do something they simply refuse to do, it’s not for us to make the decisions of others, even if our suggestions come with nothing but the best of intentions.

I recently had someone ask me to help them with a rather large project. I explained to this person why I didn’t want to and why I felt it best for me to stay out of giving any guidance and help with it. After much talk, I reluctantly decided to help, only to be thrown under the bus and given no support. I was given excuses and told I was too harsh. I spent a few moments in frustration and anger, then, I prayed and asked God to help me step back and leave it in his hands. Oh, believe me, it’s not easy to step back and watch, but, there is nothing I can say or do to change the situation. In order for me to have peace, I need to let go and let God and I need to keep focused on the fact, it’s not my battle, even though I was asked to step in and help.

Stepping back is a huge accomplishment in my life. I’ve always cared more about what others thought. I’ve always been afraid to say no. I’m a people pleaser, and, these traits are not my best versions of myself.

“You glow different when your confidence is fueled by belief in yourself instead of validation from others.”-It’s Daisy.

John said he fell in love with my passion for life and I feel like I’m losing that again and that’s going to change. I am refocusing and I will do the things that bring me joy and happiness. I need to realize, I can’t fix, nor can I control everything. I can only control me. At the end of the day, I need to believe in myself enough to know, no matter what, I’ll be okay.

People in our lives will disappoint us, but only if we have expectations. If we don’t expect anything, then we will never be disappointed. I wonder if this is what loving unconditionally looks like in it’s purest form? Loving our loved ones, our friends, our family, means we can certainly care about them and what they do, but, it also means, letting go and letting them chose their own paths. It means, their mistakes are their lessons in life.

I love this saying, “You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice.”-Steven Denn.

I think it’s fair to say, by trying to lead someone down the right path over and over again, we are making the choice to change something we simply can’t. They need to believe in themselves enough, they need to want to change themselves enough, otherwise, we are butting in where we truly aren’t welcome.

I’m coming to learn, it’s not up to us to change anyone but ourselves, especially when they see no issue with the way they act. The only thing we absolutely can change is the way we react to others. It’s time we stop trying to change others and work on changing only ourselves. At the end of the day, when we work only on ourselves, our world will change for the better.

When it comes to those we love, it’s harder to step back, but sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can only love them. We can love others from the highest mountain top, but no matter how loud we love them, it doesn’t matter much if they aren’t listening.

I think we all need to believe in ourselves enough to not let the little things matter in life. We need to learn to let things roll off our backs in order to keep our sanity in check. It’s not easy having others upset with us, and it certainly isn’t easy not caring what our loved ones think of us. I hate it when someone I care about is upset with me, especially when I have no clue what I did. That’s a slippery slope too, because I tend to over analyze and follow the path of what if’s.

“Know this: You are not responsible for the versions of you that exist in other people’s minds.”-Shrinkchicks.

The only thing I’m responsible for is how I react to others and how I feel about myself. I am only responsible for the choices I make and if I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, then it’s up to me to change my own version of myself.

It’s not always easy to shrug off what we think others think about us, however, at the end of the day, we cannot control their thoughts, their actions and their opinions of us and it’s time we stop trying. Of course, this is absolutely a work in progress for me. Trying to practice what I’m preaching here is truly, not easy. It’s hard to change my lifelong thinking that other peoples opinions of me matter more than my own opinion of me. Heck, I’ve wasted a lot of years caring more about making everyone else happy all while neglecting me. Thank goodness John is always there, rooting me on to go out and accomplish anything and everything I put my mind to. He truly is one amazing and special man.

I am thankful. I am blessed and I am still, a work in progress.

I think that about sums it up. We need to develop the confidence to believe in ourselves. We need to get out of our own heads and learn to not be preoccupied with what we think others perceptions are of us. We need to be willing to help, at the same time, we need to be willing to let go. We cannot force our ideals on others, they need to come to their own conclusions in life. We need to take care of ourselves and do the things that bring us joy and happiness, and sometimes, we need to let go and let others figure it out. We cannot keep enabling someone to make the same mistakes repeatedly, because when we do, we are allowing them to turn those mistakes into choices.

I believe in you and I hope you can believe in me. The best version of me is yet to come. I’ve been chipping away at mole hills and now, it’s time to climb the mountain. Even if I fall, I know I’ll get back up and try again until I reach the top.

I hope the rest of your Tuesday is terrific and filled with lots of love. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.