Learning to breathe

Happy Tuesday,

How is everyone doing on this fine Tuesday afternoon? What a beautiful day we’ve been blessed with. Sun is shinning, a slight breeze whispering sweet nothings through the trees and the smell of summer is quickly approaching, but before we launch into summer, let’s get ready for a three day weekend. Any plans? I’d love to hear about them. Shoot me a text or drop me a comment and please, subscribe to my blog and receive notification when a new one is released.

These past couple of weeks have been crazy busy. Packing and tons of doctor appointments have been on my nearly daily to do list. The good thing is, at least I know I’m not crazy. My MRI and X-Ray both show the cause of my pain. Hopefully now, between pain management and my neurosurgeon, we’ll figure out a game plan where I can function better.

Yesterday I saw my therapist and boy is she amazing. She is actually my psychotherapist. She helps me incorporate the tools I need to work past the stressors in my life. I’ve got a lot of practice to do, but it’s worth it.

We worked on breathing techniques. She incorporates her yoga training into the breathing exercises and by doing this, I’m able to refocus my mind. It all starts with my breathing and allowing my body to relax. She said it’s a form of mindfulness.

I learned something new about the way my body reacts to certain situations. I learned that my triggers cause me to go into the state of sympathetic, which sounds like it should be a good thing, however, when your nervous system goes into the sympathetic state, it’s actually preparing your body for strenuous physical activity.

According to NIH.gov, the sympathetic system controls your “fight-or-flight responses. So, when I’m triggered, I spin, my heart rate increases.

When I’m triggered and my sympathetic nervous system is responding to my need to fight or flight, even when there’s no real danger to me, I can’t calm it. My first response is, and has always been, to run.

Talking with my doctor yesterday, she could see that I was stressed. I had received a call from my attorney needing some updated information early in the day. Well, anytime I have to think about my case for my injury, I either consciously or unconsciously panic. I want to run and get away from it, but I can’t. I wish I would have had Dr. Gomez two years ago. I think I would have handled some of my cases differently.

According to WebMD, when my sympathetic nervous system is triggered, it activates my brain to think I’m in a stressful situation, even if I’m not. My flight-or-fight response is increased, and I can’t get out of that mind space, but I’m learning how.

The fight or flight response I struggle with is from the trauma I’ve endured through life. My doctor says that’s why I was always so busy and couldn’t settle for sub par in any part of my life. The need to strive towards perfection, though, we all know isn’t logical by any stretch of the imagination, was my way of dealing with triggers. Now, with my brain injury, I still have the fight or flight engrained in me, but now, it’s not so much about being able to get things done as it is about the overwhelming feeling to run and escape. I suppose this is where pushing people away comes into play.

If I push you away, then that’s my excuse to run. Sounds pretty messed up, yet, it’s how my brain thinks sometimes. I’m getting better at not pushing people away, but I still struggle. My pain levels don’t help me keep my triggers at bay either, so I do need to learn to set boundaries. Let me give you an example:

During my session yesterday, while Dr. Gomez was teaching me some yoga moves, she had me doing a couple exercises that really caused me a lot of pain, but I did them anyway. When we were done, or should I say, when she noticed my struggle, she stopped and asked if I was in pain. I told her yes, but that was okay, keep going, I want to be better. She said no, that’s not how this works, then she asked me why I felt it was important to keep going, even though my pain was quickly escalating. “Because your my doctor and you asked me to do this.”

First thing she said was, “even though I’m your doctor, you have to set the boundaries for what you can and cannot do. You have to listen to your body and it’s okay for you to tell me, it hurts and you can’t do it. It’s okay to listen to what is best for how your body is reacting. We have so many other things we can try.”

She sat back in her chair and asked me, “do you ever set boundaries for yourself, or do you generally put everyone else ahead of your own well-being?” She then said, “you’re expression says it all. You’re a people pleaser and from what I can tell, you haven’t learned to make yourself a priority in your own life.”

Again, I wish I had her as my doctor two years ago. I allowed others feelings to override what was in my best interest because I bought into their pity party. If only I would of allowed myself to breathe through the discomfort, I wouldn’t have given in to taking less then I deserved.

I’m so grateful for Dr. Gomez now. She’s really helping me to breathe through the triggers and hopefully on my next go around in court, I’ll be stronger for it.

Learning to breathe before reacting sure would save me a whole lot of bowls of stress. We all have certain triggers in life, we all have things we need to learn to cope and deal with, but when you get to a state of it hurts to think, then maybe it’s time to learn to breathe.

Inhale from your core, inhale as much as you can. Hold it, hold it tight, then 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Exhale, allowing your abdominal and pelvic floor muscles to contract. Try this two times. Feel what’s happening in your body. Feel were your stress is, then allow yourself to release the tension.

Learning to breathe, well, we all know how to breathe, but breathing to allow our bodies the chance to regroup and get out of the sympathetic mode, this will allow us to function in a much better mind set.

Take a walk. Swim a few laps. Write in your journal when you are feeling triggered. It’s okay to embrace each and every feeling you have. Sometimes we need to sit in the discomfort of those feelings, just don’t take up residency there. Seek medical or mental health help if you find yourself in a constant cycle of not coping well with the things life throws at you. It doesn’t mean your are weak. On the contrary, it takes courage to ask for help.

I’ve learned I need mental health help right now and I probably will always check in with a therapist for the rest of my life. Doesn’t mean I’ll be a career patient, I don’t see that happening, but an occasional check-up or help me learn coping strategies, hey, sign me up.

Many people shy away from the term, mental health, but our brains are a big part of us, why do we not see the need to take care of it too. Maybe I should say, or ask, why is saying you need to see a therapist still so taboo?

Not everyone needs therapy, not every one will seek it. But what if they do? What if someone tells you they have a therapist? How will you react? Will we be taken back, or will we be supportive? How much better it would be if we gave ourselves permission to show others that we thought it was A-OK, rather then becoming stand-offish? Just a thought.

Therapy is a great thing, at least that’s always been my experience. For me, therapy is about learning to manage things when my mind spins. Since my concussion, thoughts in my head get all cloudy, especially when I’m in pain or overly tired. So, having a therapist to show me how to clear the fog, I can sort out my thoughts so much better.

I’m learning things that will benefit me and hopefully will make me a better person. It’s like anything, when we can walk away from an experience, in this case therapy, with tools to make life better, then why not give it a try.

I’m not a doctor nor a nurse, I’m just an average person learning to embrace life. I’ve literally started my life over. My religious beliefs are new, my outlook on life is new, my relationships are new and though I’m loving the journey, I still get triggered by my past, and that affects me sometimes.

Writing is my way of coping and navigating my thoughts. Now, I’m learning to breathe. I can inhale as deeply as I can. I then, exhale and feel the stressors leaving me behind. It’s always a good day when I release the negative and embrace the beauty of life. Mistakes and all.

Life is a gift, and learning to breathe is amazing.

I’m going to take a couple deep breathes in. Exhale and get on with my day.

I do hope you all are well. Thank you for stopping by and reading today’s blog and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.