Popular opinion

Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing on this amazing Monday afternoon? All is well here. I’m so glad the weekend is over, even though it was a blast. How war your weekend? Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, I love hearing from you all.

I’ve heard it said that growing old isn’t for the weak and boy, isn’t that the truth. Gosh, I’m only 55 and after my May the 4th party we had on Saturday, I can barely walk. Took the pups for a few walks yesterday and today, and I’m having a hard time just getting up and down the stairs. Fingers crossed my upcoming neurosurgeon visit will give good advice along with a game plan.

I’m a few days behind again with editing my manuscript. I will finish it by the weekend though. I think I told you, my dear friend Kathy said she would be more than happy to read it over and give me her thoughts, along with her daughter who has a degree in writing or something along those lines. I’m beyond honored they are willing to read my manuscript, so no slacking for this writer, time to crack my own whip and finish it up, then get it printed.

You know, if anyone would have told me 8 years ago I’d be sitting here in San Diego writing a blog, I’d first say, what the heck is a blog followed by, who me, a writer. Now look at me, I’m writing this blog that I dearly love and whenever I write, I feel like I’m talking to my friends. It’s hard to explain, but I do feel as though I’m writing a personal letter to each of you.

The last 8 years have shown me that I can make it on my own. They’ve shown me I’m stronger then I ever imagined and they’ve shown me, when things stopped working and were beyond broken, to the point of never being fixed again, I wasn’t a quitter, I was a survivor.

“Contrary to popular opinion, quitting is for winners. Knowing when to quit, change direction, leave a toxic situation, demand more from life, give up on something that wasn’t working and move on, is a very important skill that people who win in life all seem to have.”-Steven Bartlett.

I have found in the course of my life, I stayed where I didn’t fit. I stayed because I didn’t want to be a failure or a quitter. I kept doing the same thing, day after day hoping for a different result. Guess what, nothing ever changed, nothing except me. I grew up and I found I had a voice. I found I had dreams and they matter.

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”-Saint Francis of Assisi.

When we finally wake up and realize, life truly is a gift, we stop muddling around in unhealthy and unsafe places. We find it deep within ourselves to do what’s necessary in order to live life. We figure out what makes us happy and we look out into this world and realize, it’s time to take the steps to live life with little to no regrets. When this happens, we are doing what we never thought we could.

I was told I would never amount to much of anything. I carried that mindset with me for a good chunk of my life. Guess what, I’m doing life. Sure, I struggle and I relapse into those mindsets of “I’m not good enough,” then, something knocks me over the head and boom, I’m seeing that I can follow my dreams and I can make things happen.

I’ve lived so much of my life caring about the opinions of others and I still do, but, I’m learning that even when someone bites back because I’m not doing what they want, I’m still going to be okay. I’m okay letting go of the thought that the suggestions of others is absolutely welcome and it will generally be taken into consideration. Ultimately though, it’s my opinion of myself that really matters. I can’t and won’t allow myself to lose me again.

“Every time you thought you couldn’t move forward, you did. Take a moment to appreciate how strong and capable you are.”-Karen Salmansohn.

It’s not easy learning to be strong, especially when you’ve spent most of your life weak, or at least that’s what you believed. I believed it. I never wanted to rock the boat. I never wanted to let others down. I would do things to make others happy, until one day, a dear friend who I hadn’t spoken to in many years called me up. He asked me what makes me happy. I gave him a long list of the things I did for others. He laughed and said, “all of that is wonderful. You are a giving person, but what do you enjoy doing? Do you like to take strolls along the beach at sunset? Do you like to get lost in music while having a cold beer watching the sunset? What is your passion?”

I couldn’t answer. I realized I had suppressed all my passions, desires and dreams in order to make sure those around me were claiming theirs. If I dared to express any kind of want, I would ask for permission to claim it, and would let it go when I was denied my request. I didn’t dare think for myself. I still struggle from time to time with this, but I am getting stronger and I am able to, on most occasions, walk away from things toxic in my life.

Being a mom was and is my greatest passion in life. At the same time, being a mom is knowing when to let go because your sons are old enough to pursue their lives without me. It’s always nice to be included, but they have their own lives now and I have mine. Our opinions are taken into consideration for one another, however, at the end of the day, we’ve given each other permission to pursue our own happiness.

“Letting your kids grow up is kind of like releasing a kite. You hate to see it go, but it looks so beautiful and free as it climbs higher and higher in the bright blue sky.”-Susan Gale.

I’ve learned a lot in my 55 years here on this earth. I’ve learned I am okay being me. I try to show myself grace and forgiveness when I mess up and I’m open to learning new things and unlearning old habits that no longer serve me, but I’m most excited to relearn who I was meant to be.

I will promise you all this. I will never intentionally offend you or try to upset you. I will be respectful and I will show you grace and take your opinions into account, however, at the end of the day, I won’t be following the popular opinions anymore. I won’t be losing myself in an effort to make your happiness the only thing that counts. I will always care what others think of me, but I won’t allow negative thoughts to take up space in my mind, especially when they aren’t paying me rent.

I’ve been lost in others opinions, ideas and passions for way too long and during that time, I never gave my opinions, ideas and passions a second thought. I followed the popular belief system and stayed indoctrinated in a cult, because I thought more of the leaders opinions over my own.

The popular opinion of me leaving the religion was that I was a quitter and I would suffer my demise at the hands of God. I’ve been called a quitter for leaving, and that’s okay. I finally figured it out. I finally realized it was okay to leave that toxic relationship I had with the church. I changed my direction and I’m finally living my best life. I’m still a work in progress, and that’s okay. With His help, I’ll be just fine.

My dear readers, it’s okay to quite what is breaking your spirit. It’s okay to leave something or someone toxic. It’s okay to demand more for your life. It’s okay to go against the popular opinions, but it’s not okay to treat others unkind in the process. It’s not okay to treat others unfairly or wrongly just because their opinions don’t match up to yours. It’s okay to start over and take that first step to your best life.

I’ll leave you with this thought: “If everything you do must be measured against the opinion of everyone else, what happens to your opinion of yourself?”-Wayne Dyer.

I wish you all nothing but happiness, health and prosperity. I wish you all the best life. Now go out there and remember, your opinion matters. You matter.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.