Forgiveness and Grace

Happy Sunday,

How is everyone doing on this amazing Sunday evening? All is well here. How was your weekend? Mine was beyond busy, and I loved every moment. I had family in from out of town staying with me, therefore, my kiddos and my girls where here every night since Wednesday. Oh, John and I had a May the 4th party at the house. Busy busy, but now, the house is finally calm, though I miss the noise.

It was beyond wonderful seeing my boys every day this week. They always light up my days. I even got a big hug from Tommy, who is a bit awkward in showing outward affection. He certainly does not get that from me. Kevin is more like me. Loves kisses, cuddles and I love you’s.

From this moment on, until June 22, we are packed with so much to do. I figure, if I do a little at a time, then hopefully, I’ll be able to finish it up.

Onto the blog:

Today I wanted to talk about forgiveness and grace. This came to mind today when I received news that one of our city officials was arrested yesterday for misdemeanor DUI. I won’t say he’s a friend, but he is an acquaintance that I see in the community and I’ve hung out with a couple of times at different functions. Both he and his wife, certainly are nice people, and they don’t strike me as the type that would have something like this happen to. Goes to show you though, we all mess up. Sometimes in a really large way.

We all make mistakes and in an article posted by our local new source, this city official made a statement apologizing for his actions and said he’s vowing to make things right. I think this is going to take a lot of courage on his part. First hurdle I think has been accomplished by making a statement and owning his conduct.

I heard about this incident this morning and the article came out a few hours later. I was talking with a couple of friends about this and we all agreed, this persons put himself in a bad situation, yet, without judgement, I believe we need to show him forgiveness and grace, especially since he said he will do what he needs to do to make things right.

We all fall short and make mistakes, even those who are in some sort of power within our communities. Within my community, this man just happened to make a big mistake. In no way do I approve of his actions, however, I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t realize he had one too many. His alcohol level was 0.08 according to police records. Information I found on http://www.dmv.ca.gov, says a blood alcohol concentrations limit of 0.08 or higher is illegal. He was right there. He hit the illegal limit. One too many comes with a heavy price tag. He’s put his reputation at risk for becoming tainted. He has to show his face knowing others are aware of his bad choice, not to mention whatever consequence the court gives him.

When I hear of stories like this I try and think, what if that was me, or one of my kids? What if I made that bad choice? I would hope others wouldn’t cast judgement on me in a harsh manner, though it be deserving. While I do think we should all be held accountable for our actions, sometimes, we get caught up in the moment of things and we fail to think clearly and rationally. I believe until we walk in someone’s shoes, we just don’t know what happened 100%.

Life happens. We get caught up in the moment and we fall short. This subject is such a tough one. Getting a DUI is a subject that is hard and could cost someone’s life. I 100% believe if you do the crime, you do the time. I believe if we mess up, we need to own it and suffer the consequence of our actions. I don’t think anyone should get a free ride, but I do feel if someone is remorseful, they should be shown forgiveness. I would think we would all welcome a second chance and a do over, but do over’s generally aren’t going to happen, but a second chance in showing who we really are, well, I’ll leave that up to each of you.

Forgiveness isn’t always the easiest thing to show. What does it mean to forgive? According to mayoclinic.org, forgiveness means different things to different people. In general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. –

When we choose to forgive someone for their actions, no where does it ever say it’s easy. On the contrary, to forgive someone takes action on our part. We have to intentionally put effort into letting go of our feelings of resentment. We have to let go of our feelings, however, forgetting the action might still roar it’s ugly head from time to time.

When we show grace to someone, it means to give acceptance unconditionally and voluntarily to an undeserving person by an unobligated giver (UMN Extension).

Let’s use the example of someone getting a DUI. While it might not affect us, someone driving under the influence is putting others on the road at risk to be harmed, even killed. In the case of the gentlemen in my community, he caused me no harm at all, he didn’t cause any harm to anyone I know, but he did put others at risk. He put my friends at risk who were on the road at that time. He put others within my community at risk, even his family if they were with him. He messed up in a big way and he will have to answer to the courts for his choice. That’s why the judicial system was put into place. I’m glad I don’t have to be judge and jury in anyone’s life. That’s a hard place to be.

This person has owned his actions, apologized and promised to make things right. I have to give him respect for that, at the same time, I don’t have to accept his actions as being okay in anyway. I would hope if myself or anyone I know would mess up to this level, forgiveness and grace would be shown, that is, if I or they showed remorse without excuses.

“We are not perfect, forgive others as you would want to be forgiven.”-Catherine Pulsifer.

I love this quote. We aren’t perfect and I think if we allow ourselves to be put in someone else’s shoes, perhaps we would be a little less inclined to judge so harshly. If we would want to be forgiven for our actions, we should be willing to forgive others of theirs.

“Forgiveness is above all a personal choice, a decision of the heart to go against natural instinct to pay back evil with evil.”-Pope John Paul II.

Paying back evil might not mean a physical action, perhaps its wishing evil to happen to someone. Statements like, “oh he deserved it or Karma is gonna get him,” well, that’s not showing someone grace or forgiveness.

“When to give grace? I’d rather stand before God knowing I loved others too much than regretting that I judged too harshly.”-Lysa Terkeurst.

I think we all need to, or I need to just remember that it’s not my place to judge or hold someone to a certain standard, because I know I fall short every day of God’s standards, yet he shows me forgiveness and grace. I’m beyond grateful for that. What about you? What do you think about forgiving others and showing grace? I’d love to hear from you.

I think this about sums up how we should strive to forgive and show others grace. In the end, it’s God who is judge over everything in life. It’s God who will be the one to pass down judgement which is a wonderful blessing to us all. It’s one more thing we can take off our plate. It’s one less worry in our life.

This is not to say that when others wrong us we don’t feel the impact of their actions. Ultimately though, it’s not for us to pay back. It’s not for us to judge, instead, it’s in my opinion, we show grace by asking God to give us strength and understanding and to help us show forgiveness and grace. Neither of these actions on our part is easy, sometimes we have a lesson to learn when we are holding onto something. Perhaps though, we can find it in our heart to let go and let God handle things that hurt us, especially where we are affected by someone’s actions.

“The nature of humanity, it’s essence, is to feel another’s pain as one’s own, and to act to take that pain away. There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.”-John Connolly.

Forgiveness and grace aren’t always easy, however, how free we will be if we only set ourselves free and others too of our natural inclination to judge. How wonderful a feeling if we let go and let God take care of all issues that affect us or that affect those we love.

These are just my thoughts. I would love to hear your thoughts on forgiveness and grace. Thank you so much for taking the time to read today’s blog and until next time, please don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.