Remember this….

Happy Wednesday,

How are you all doing today? It’s been rather hot today here in the lake. How is the weather where you are? I do hope you’re staying cool, safe and hydrated. I’m sluggin’ around today. Taking it slow. Took the pup for a walk and got a little nauseous. Tonight, I’m going to have dinner with a friend, which I’m super excited about. Jeannie is so amazing, and we always have a good time together. Can’t wait for my salad. PZA has the best house salad, and maybe I’ll even have a small pizza too.

I’ve been talking with a friend today and she sort of put me in the walking down memory lane mood. I was thinking of the things I do remember about my kiddos growing up and it made me wonder, do they remember me raising them? Do they remember how much I loved and continue to love being their mom? I know for me, the things I do remember about them being little are always some of the most treasured memories I hold close to my heart.

While chatting with my friend, I got a text from my cousin. She sent me a memory of my granny and my Uncle Mike. They were at my cousin’s wedding, and they were sitting together, and granny looked at Uncle Mike, her only son with this look that he holds her entire world in the palm of his hand. Uncle Mike is 70+ years old and my granny adored her son until the day she passed. I know that look. It’s one that’s all too familiar, because it’s the way I look at my sons. My boys hold my heart and I hope I hold a piece of theirs too.

I hope my boys remember the precious days of being my babies, but if they don’t, I will. There was a time that I was their alarm clock, breakfast, lunch and dinner maker, I planned outings to the park on warm days and we played hot wheels and watched Disney movies on rainy days. I will forever be grateful that I was the one that got to play with them, and I regret those moments I told them, “A little later”. I wish I could take just one of those “a little laters” away so we could have had a little more time to play. I remember sitting in the audience of their school watching them receive awards and be a part of a basketball team. I hope they know, there were times I just sat at the bottom of the stairs listening to them play and use their imaginations and there were times I would want to jump out of my seat when they would wrestle. I knew it was what brothers do, but I never wanted either of them to get hurt. I loved tucking them in at night and when they would ask me to cuddle with them until you fell asleep, those moments of listening to them breathe so softly, I miss those almost the most. I will always treasure those mementos they made for me during art time at school. I loved being the one who made their ouches feel better and the one they would turn to when things went wrong. I like to think I made everything better for them, even though I know I’m not the only one who made their world a better place to be. From the moment they were born, I was their teacher. I would read them stories, color and paint with them. I would enjoy their curiosity towards anything new, but one thing I don’t ever think I told my boys was this, you were my teacher too and you still are. You’ve taught me how to rediscover the magic in my life. I got to live a childhood I never had through your growing up process. I know I wasn’t’ able to give you everything, but I gave you my all, including my love. I was and am, you mama, the most important role of all, the most important roll I’ve ever had. I’ve always worried about your safety, I’ve wondered if I did the right things. Did I make the right choices, and did I teach you the same, but most of all, I wonder, did you, do you, know how much I love you. I hope you remember our journey of your childhood as an adventure, one of good time and I pray, you never saw the sadness within me, nor the worry I had every night when I went to bed, praying I was the best mom you could ever have each and every day. I hope you remember the summer nights me sitting in my chair as you played in the dirt or shot some hoops, I hope you remember, you were and continue to be my world. I hope when you remember learning about life, that you don’t hold a grudge when the world falls apart. I hope you remember coming home and hearing music that made me happy while you were away. I hope you remember how happy you were and how happy I was to have been given the privilege of being your mom. I hope you remember that you were my everything, safely tucked in at home, and in those days, I was your everything too. I will never believe I deserved the happiness you gave me, but when I looked at you, my babies sleeping, you sparked life into my spirit. You were the reason I did it all. I’m not sure you’ll remember any of it at all, but I will and if you ever remember being little and you miss those cuddle times and hugs, I’ll always have a place in my arms for you my dear sons.

My dear sons, those that came from my belly and those that have come into my life, I am your mama and I will love you forever. If nothing else, please tell me you will remember, how much you were and are loved.

Well, my dear readers, thank you for taking this stroll down my memory lane. I do hope you are doing good, and I hope you found a little happiness in hearing how much my boys are loved. Shoot me a comment, or give me a like, I love hearing from you all and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++

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J