Never Alone

Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing? Sliding into the work week with a punch? What a beautiful day it is. I sat outside on my balcony for the longest time while I did my schoolwork. I also enjoyed a couple of hours of chair volleyball with some pretty amazing folks here at the lake. It’s safe to say, I’m off to a good week. Hey, how was your weekend? Shoot me a text or leave me a comment, I love hearing from everyone.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little tense. I have some upcoming things I have to deal with, and I think it’s stressing me out a little bit. John has tons on his plate too, so it makes it difficult for us to be there completely for the other one. Sometimes, you just have to press forward and hope you can weather the storm. I wish I could do more to help John and I know he wants to do more to help me. I do know this, I’m not alone, and if I truly did need him, he would be there for me, just as I would be there for him.

I started this blog with a few intentions in mind. One, I wanted to share my journey in hopes of helping others and two, I never want anyone to ever feel like they are alone in battling whatever obstacle is in your life.

When I feel like I’m struggling, I turn to positive affirmations and I just sit and read through as many as I can, or I binge watch people who I am drawn to because of their positive outlooks on life. I love Super Soul Sunday, and Wayne Dyer along with others. They take what I might think is a negative situation and they look at it in a positive way. “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”-Oprah Winfrey. Pretty cool way to look at things. Who do we believe we are? I’m still figuring it out, but I do know one thing, I don’t have to figure it out alone anymore. I not only have John, but I also have many of you.

Over the course of the last few years, I’ve come to see who my friends really are. Funny, when you leave a high controlling religion/cult, you are cast out like you don’t even exist. People who I thought were my friends have simply chosen to see me as never being. That has been the hardest thing for me to deal with. When I begin to feel sad about certain ones I’ve lost, I’m reminded that I’m not alone and some people have it worse than I ever have had it.

My stepdad recently passed away. He was a part of the religion in which I was raised. We didn’t’ really care too much for each other, and that’s okay, because he really did love my mother and she loved him. My mother and her husband had two children together, a son and a daughter. I haven’t seen either one in years, but at the end of the day, they are still my brother and sister. Now my sister is in a similar situation as I am. We both have left the religion in which Mother raised us, and we have both chosen to not be a part of it any longer. The price for walking away from this high controlling, fear mongering religion is, you lose those that are still in it, even your family. They chose the religion over everyone that doesn’t think like them. They chose the religion over their own children. Anyway, when my mother’s husband fell sick and went to the hospital, Mother only called her one believing child, her son. Now I never expected a call that my stepdad was dying, not from her anyway, however, I think it’s only right for her to have reached out to her daughter, the one she had with her husband, but she didn’t. Why? Because my sister is a non-believer and has been publicly shunned, disfellowshipped, excommunicated, whatever you want to call it, she wasn’t even entitled to a phone call from her mother, our mother telling her that her dad was in the hospital and not expected to live, he died two days later. Even though Mother didn’t call her daughter, her son did, so thankfully, my sister was able to see her dad before he passed.

My mother only has her son left in life, him and her religion friends. I sure do hope that’s enough, because if it’s not, she sure will be lonely in life. I don’t wish that upon anyone, not even the woman that is my mother who chooses to shun me, simply for not believing in her religion.

When I was going through some pretty traumatic events in my life, I didn’t have a mother to call upon. I felt alone, but one day I met the most amazing man in the world, the man who wipes away my tears, stands beside me through the good, the bad and the who the hell knows what. I’m going to share something with you that he wrote to me. I don’t think he’ll mind. He said this to me, “she dreams to make a difference, and yet she already makes the world a lot better. It breaks her heart when she thinks that she disappointed or hurt someone. She is passionate about people being happy. She cries when she does not feel wanted. Her childhood was difficult, and it made her the wonderful person that she is today. She always did what she was told, she tried extremely hard to have favor in God’s eyes, then she realized that all along, she was being led astray. I love this book and I can’t stop reading it.”

One day when I was at my loneliness, the most amazing man found me and vowed his love for me not matter what. Now I know I can be a butt from time to time, and I’m a work in progress, but I’m no longer alone. Having this kind of support is priceless and beyond words, and I am so grateful for it, and one thing I can do to show how appreciation for it is to pay it forward. I don’t ever want anyone to feel alone, and here on my blogsite, you are never alone.

“If I showed you my teardrops, would you collect them like rain, store them in jars, that are labeled with “pain?” Would you follow their tracks, from my eyes down my cheeks, as they write all the stories, I’m too scared to speak? Would you stop them with kisses, bring their flow to a halt, as you teach me that pain isn’t always my fault? Would you hold my face gently as you dry both my eyes, and whisper the words, ‘you’re too precious to cry’? If I showed you my teardrops, would you show me your own and learn though we’re lonely, we’re never alone?”-e.h.

My dear friends, you never have to feel alone again. Dear friends that have either left the JW cult or have been excommunicated from it, I know the pain you feel, the loneliness you feel, and I want you to know, you’re never alone.

We all have the power to help each other in one way or another, and one amazing way would be to become warriors of kindness. When we are kind to each other and to ourselves, we might just brighten someone’s day, even our own. A therapist recently shared with us, smile at least five times a day, throughout the day and you’ll release a chemical in your body that allows you to get out of depression. Easier said than done, but hey, what’s wrong with a little smile from time to time? Smile at that stranger in line who looks like they’re about to blow their stack, maybe they just need to know, they aren’t alone, and your smile might just be what they need.

Well guys, it’s getting late. The day has escaped me. I need to say goodbye for now. I need to go and walk the pups, but remember this, you don’t ever need to feel alone. Until next time, don’t forget, love life++