Strong Friend

Happy Friday,

We have hit the weekend and it’s going to be simply beautiful outside. The winds we had this week have really made the skies amazing and the weather is sunny, but cool. I’m in love with the day. I have been feeling a little like I’ve been drowning, of course in my own thoughts, however, today, I woke up feeling pretty good. I hope you woke up feeling good and I want you all to know, you are amazing!!!

I went and test drove a car yesterday and loved, loved, loved it, however, I didn’t purchase it. You see, the dealer lied to me. I know, dealers are like that, but this made me feel like, I don’t know, played, I guess. The price of the car was advertised on their site, and when I called to make the appointment, I did ask if there was any wiggle room and I was told no, they are a no haggle dealer and the price is the price, with the exception of taxes, license and dealer fees. Okay, I’m fine with that, however, when I got there and after driving the car, the dealer proceeds to mark the car up over $3,000. He adds on this new license plate gizmo that is electronic which costs $1500 on top of the DMV license of nearly $700. Then of course you have the rest of the fees. Now, I’m no math guru here, but really, being told that I have to purchase this electronic license plate, well, that wasn’t included in his no haggle price. Wasn’t happy and walked away from the sweet little car that was tons of fun to drive. Let go and let God, I can’t dwell on it, but I’m still not happy. I’ll work on that.

I was thinking about different ones, people I admire and respect and when I read this quote this morning, it really made me stop and think. You see, sometimes, I think we, or I, fall short of being that friend who forgets or overlooks those we know that are confident, who appear to have it all together, the strong ones. I think, subconsciously, we, or I, fail to think that it’s possible that my strong, confident and have it all together friends could possibly feel like they are drowning or losing it. “She was drowning, but nobody saw her struggle… Don’t forget to check on your strong friend…”-FBI Anxious Andy.

I’m sure we all have that one friend that seems to always have everything just so and their lives seem like it’s sailing along quite nicely, so perhaps we don’t even think it possible for them to feel the effects of drowning in life. I know most of us have felt that lost feeling, the feeling of despair and at times, just want to give up. It’s not always easy to stay on the positive mindset. I was just having a conversation with my brother, and he was saying as much as he loves the lake house, it’s too crowded here for him. He loves his little piece of the world in Arkansas, living in a town of 3,000 people. He loves the solitude. For me, I can’t do that on a full-time basis. Sure, I love my quiet time now and again, but to live in solitude, my mind would go to a dark place, and I would have a real struggle pulling myself out of darkness. Like I told my brother, even being home here by myself for too long, my mind overthinks and negative starts setting in, so for me, to get myself out of that mindset, I got outside and sit on the patio and watch the little ones playing at the park, or I watch the boats going by, or if I’m really getting bad, I hop on the golf cart and head out for a long ride.

I guess, sometimes, I’m so guilty of not checking in or reaching out to people because I’m feeling really down and I’m struggling and the feeling of drowning takes over and I fail to realize, maybe one of my friends is going through the same thing, or perhaps they are going through something even darker.

One of my friends reached out yesterday and we live within 20 minutes of each other, and we rarely get together. She’s alone, her and her pup, and when you talk with her, she seems like life is great, and she appears to be in a great place in life, however, she told me something that I never realized, and that was, she struggles since retiring. She’s alone so much of the time that she gets lonely, so she does what she can to keep busy. She told me that her therapist diagnosed her with adjustment disorder with mild depression. That broke my heart and made me realize, we all need checking in on, especially those that seem to be so strong.

My friend struggles and it breaks my heart. How many more of my friends are struggling in silence? Why do I feel like I must struggle in silence? I know there are times when I won’t even tell John what is going on in my mind, but I’m one of the lucky ones, I have someone that can sense when I’m off or when I’m struggling. He has such a gift for being an empath. I’m beyond grateful for that and while I do push him away at times, not because I don’t love him, but because it’s so new to me. I’ve never had someone love me and care for me as much as he does. I wish everyone had someone like him. I want to be like him. I want to be that person that you all feel like you can come to, just like my friend did yesterday, when she came to me and opened up. I don’t want anyone to feel like they are drowning alone. I want to be more in tune to my family and friends, I don’t ever want you to say, nobody saw me struggling and drowning.

The whole purpose of my blog is to be a support for one another as well as telling my life story on this crazy journey of life and how I got to where I am today. We can see ourselves in each other’s stories. We can learn and we can grow. We are in it together.

Well guys, I’m off to lunch with my friend, then I have an appointment to look at yet, another car. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++