My Story

Happy Saturday

How are you all doing today? What an amazingly beautiful day. It’s crazy busy around the lake today. Love seeing all the carts out and about. Today is the Winter Wonderland at the Town Center and tomorrow is the famous golf cart holiday parade. Tons of stuff to do, and never a dull moment. My house was busy for about ten days this past week. Had my cousins in town. With Granny passing, Brian and his kiddos came down, not only for Thanksgiving but for the funeral. It was really one beautiful service. Small and very special. So now I’m getting back into a new routine, at least I hope I am. I’m excited to be able to go to happy hour with Art and Laura and of course, John this week and I get to make Christmas pillows with my friend Susan and I think that’s all the major stuff happening during the week. What are your plans for the rest of this awesome weekend? Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, I’d love to hear from you all.

I wanted to talk to you all about something that has been on my mind these last few weeks. I had someone reach out to me and say that I need to heal and let go of my past. I need to not write about certain things in my life and I wanted to clear a little something up regarding this. You see, blogging for me, is therapy. I love writing and I write about things that come to mind. Nothing is pre-thought-out. When I have something come to mind, I sit down and write. When I write about things that happen to me or have happened, it’s not because I haven’t healed, it’s because I’ve had so many people in the past reach out and tell me that my writing has helped them in some way. I’ve had others tell me that they can relate to my writings and others have said my writing has helped them see that they are not alone in this world. So, I do appreciate the constructive criticism, but, for me, I plan to continue writing the same way I always have done. Let me know your thoughts about the way I write. I’d love to get your feedback.

I saw this wonderful quote the other day and I think it fits with this very topic. “She’s telling her story… Because what happened to her killed her self-esteem and stole her worthiness. It made her believe she was ugly and unlovable. It riddled her with shame and guilt, and more than anything, it buried who she really was, and she wants to know who that is before she dies, because, since the day she was born, she’s been wondering who she’d discover when the pain was gone.”-unknown.

I’ve been working my whole life to be good enough and no matter what I did, I was never quite enough. Like I’ve said in previous blogs, I’ve felt like I was or had to climb this mountain of perfection and I nearly made it to the top, then I plummeted to the ground below, losing everything I ever had, including what little identity I was familiar with. It’s taken me years to get to the point that I feel like I can say, I’m in a good place. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still have struggles, I still have doubts about myself and though I have this amazing man by my side who tells me every single day that he loves me just the way I am, I still struggle with not feeling good enough. I”m blessed to have John who reminds me that I’m more than good enough, for him anyway and he treats me like a queen.

I’m not sure what I’ve done in this life to be given a second chance at love and hope. Not sure why I’ve been so blessed to be able to pursue my passion for writing, but I do know this much, I’m not going to take for granted this amazing second chance gift.

“Hope. If you carry one thing throughout your entire life, let it be hope. Let it be hope that better things are always ahead. Let it be hope that you can get through even the toughest of times. Let it be hope that you are stronger than any challenge that comes your way. Let it be hope that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now, and that you are on the path to where you are meant to be….because, during these times, hope will be the very thing that carries you through.”-Nikki Banas.

Life is certainly a journey that has no playbook. Things come our way when we least expect it. I suppose that is one thing that I can honestly say I took away from the cult I was raised in. According to Ecclesiastes 9:11, NIV, “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.” The version I was more familiar with was the NWT where it said, “time and unforeseen occurrences befall them all.” Either way, at the end of the day, life happens. In the blink of an eye, a life can be lost or altered. For me, while I was driving to an agent’s office for marketing, I was in a bad car accident that has altered my life more than I thought possible. I was driving, minding my own business, listening to a little music when I was side-swiped, pushed into another car where I was basically squeezed in between two cars. My life hasn’t been the same since. In some ways, it’s been difficult, yet in other ways, I’ve learned so much about who I thought my friends were. I learned about loyalty and greed. I’ve learned more in the last few years, not only about myself but about others. I’ve also learned about the kind of person I want to strive to be.

“It’s ironic how sorrow teaches us about happiness, rudeness shows us the value of kindness, and absence teaches us what to hold dear. Life’s trials lead us to something better, even if we can’t see it at the time.”-Helene Lerner. With that being said, maybe it’s time to let more of the negative energy go in our lives. Maybe, just maybe, if we find a way to take any bad situation and turn it into a good one, or at the very least, find something positive in it and make it a learning experience, then perhaps, we can change the world for the better and if we can’t, that’s okay too, because we are changing our own world to be something treasured, something amazing and wonderful.

We were all given life. Some of us choose to live with the mindset that we were dealt a bad hand, therefore, our entire life must be bad. I know someone that blames his parents for all the wrong that has happened in his life, he’s sort of stuck in this world where the system controls him. He says he’s broken and can’t be fixed and it breaks my heart that no matter what you say to him, he turns it into an impossible. I used to think that way, but now, with the help of John and others in my life, I’ve come to realize, I can find something good in every situation. I can find something to learn from everything that is handed to me and I can embrace the journey.

So, here’s my story. I will continue to write my blog and I will write it from my heart because it’s about my journey and the amazing people that have been there to help correct my step or pick me up when I fall. I’m blessed and I’m thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned and continue to learn and I hope that every once in a while, something I write about can resonate with you and that you will know, no matter what, you are worthy, you are loved and you matter in this life. You matter to me.

I hope you are all on the journey of life that is making you happy. Follow your dreams, find your passion and embrace your weaknesses, after all, we are all unique in our own way and the best way to get the most out of this life is, to realize how being our own person, an individual, makes the world a work of art.

Well, guys, I hope the rest of your weekend is as amazing as you. Take care of yourselves and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++