Know What’s Sexy??

Happy Wednesday,

How are you doing today? What a beautiful day today was. It was warm, but the occasional breeze has been so refreshing and calming. I decided to come out here on the patio to write today’s blog. I do find myself getting lost in the beauty of my flowers and plants though, oh, and I totally get distracted by the hummingbirds when they come to feed. I never realized how much fun bird watching was, that is, until I got the hummingbird feeder. These little birds have so much personality. I think I told you all about the bird houses I got from my friend Nancy? Her husband passed from Covid a couple months back and he used to make birdhouses, so I ended up with two so far and one of the houses is now occupied full time by a couple little birds. I want so badly to check it out inside to see if there are any eggs, but I’m afraid of getting too close and scaring the mama away. I seem to get lost in just watching these tiny little creatures. God is good, he’s given us to much to appreciate in our world.

So, I have to ask, what do you think of the title of today’s blog? I bet you’re wondering where I’m going with the whole sexy thing? Well, I saw a quote today and it really resonated with me. “Nothing is sexier than a man who admits he wants you, shows you how much he loves you, respects you, gives his time and attention to you, does anything to make you smile, sees no other girls because he is too busy loving you.”-3amthoughts. To me, this is the ultimate in being with the perfect man. No guessing as to where you stand with him. Never having to feel like your lesser than him and that you aren’t worthy of him, after all, a man that truly loves his woman makes sure she is fully aware of where his heart is. John is that man in my life.

When I read this quote today, it really gave me a warm feeling inside. You see, for over 30 years this is exactly what I wanted from a man, that man being my (ex) husband. He couldn’t even say he loved me, I couldn’t even get a, “you too” when I said I loved him. I merely got, “thank you,” like I was serving him up dinner or a cup of coffee. I mean really, how hard is it to say, you too, or ditto, shoot, I might of even been okay with a “back at ya.” The blessing that came out of never feeling loved, is, I know now what I not only want, but what I need. Sometimes, I feel like I need to pinch myself because I can’t believe just how much John loves me and he shows me that he wants me. The way he looks at me, the way he kisses me and the way he hugs me, there is absolutely no doubt the love he has in his heart for me and for our relationship.

I am blessed to have the sexiest man of all. It’s funny, because I always tell John how sexy I think he is, and after reading the quote this morning, it dawned on me, he’s not only physically sexy, he’s sexy in every way. He has no problem admitting that he wants me. He is always available to me when I need him, no matter what he’s doing, he makes time. He’s always looking at me with a glow in his eyes. Sometimes, when he looks into my eyes, I know he sees the depths of my soul. I never knew what it was like to not only be respected, but to feel respected. John never takes me for granted, and he never has a wondering eye. Just thinking about him makes me smile.

A mutual friend of me and my ex sent me a YouTube video/song just the other day. She said it reminded her of me. I replied to her that, in my opinion, it wasn’t that I left that bothered my ex, it was and is, all about the money he has to share, the money we acquired together. Even though he doesn’t feel I’m entitled to much of anything, just what he has to share, that’s what I feel upsets him the most. He claims otherwise, but if the money wasn’t what he hated to lose, then he’d make sure things were divided equally and fairly, instead of making statements that I didn’t work all that much during the marriage. I’ve listened to the song she sent me numerous times and it would be nice, it would be flattering to think my ex had these feelings, but sadly, even though we’ve been apart for nearly five years, I don’t think this song would be something that would come from his heart or would even be in his thought process.

“I thought I knew the girl so well, if she was sad, I couldn’t tell.”-What matters most/Ty Herndon. Communication was the biggest thing that was lacking in our relationship, and if there were do over’s, that’s the one thing I’d go back and change. Sadly, because we didn’t communicate, my boys never learned to talk openly. “I missed the point, I missed the signs, so if she’s gone, the fault is mine. I know, I know, a whole lot of little things, and even though I could list them 1 by 1, she would still be gone. ” I’ve heard it said that women are complicated and men are easy to understand, well, maybe, maybe not. I do know this though, when it comes to love, women aren’t all that complicated. We simply want to and need to be told we are loved. We need to feel valued and appreciated, just like a man does.

“Her eyes are blue, her hair is long, 64, she was born (68 for me) in Baton Rouge. Her favorite song is, “In My Life,” ( mine was The Fighter-Carrie Underwood/Keith Urban). I memorized her every move, I knew her books, her car, her clothes, but I paid no attention to what mattered most. I never asked, she never said. When she cried, I turned my head. She dreamed her dreams behind closed doors, that made them easy to ignore.” I used to read all the time. I would read books on how to make him see me, how to fix myself so he would love me, how to make him happier. I would leave these books all over the house. I would underline the key points, I tried so hard, but he never knew how to love me. He missed every sign.

When I read the quote this morning, it was perfect. It is so true, and so simple. There is nothing sexier than a man that “admits he wants you, shows you how much he loves you, respects you, gives you his time and attention, does everything to make you smile and sees no other girls because he’s too busy loving you.”

“But I paid no attention to what mattered most…. Oh my God, what did I do?” What matters most in any relationship is knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt, you are loved. We all want to be loved for who we are, valued for not only what we do, but for who we are. I had dreams and when I would try and share those dreams, I was told they would never come true or that I was wasting my time. Did you know that I’ve wanted to write a blog for years? It was back in the late 90’s, early 2000’s that I heard about blogging. I was always so fascinated with them, didn’t read much of any, but I loved the idea that people were writing about a vast topic of things. Being told that this was a crazy idea, I just wrapped up yet another dream and put it out of my mind. John is the one that suggested about a year ago that I write a blog and look where we are today, I’m in over 40 countries and the feedback I get is so appreciated and just the greatest compliment I’ve ever received.

I might not be the prettiest of gals, the skinniest or sexiest of women, but John looks at me as though I hold his entire world in the palm of my hands and in the depths of my heart. I feel so incredibly lucky and beyond blessed that God has given me a second chance at love, not only allowing me to fall in love, but God has given me the love I’ve dreamed of since I was a small little girl watching love stories on TV or listening to love songs on the radio.

When I left the religion in which I was extremely and heavily indoctrinated with, I never thought I’d find love. I felt instead that I would be punished for leaving, especially since I knew God hates a divorcing. While I still feel that divorce should be the last option, especially when it comes to most issues within the marriage, I do feel that God doesn’t want his followers to be unhappy, he doesn’t want them to be broken down and made to feel like they are unworthy. God gave us the ability to not only love, but to be loved and when he knows that we want a partner in this life, he opens the door for us to find the person he knows would bring us our greatest love story. Of course, every relationship has it’s issues, but one of those issues should never be having your partner feel like they aren’t loved or aren’t worthy of your love.

So guys, know what’s sexy? Being loved and loving someone in the way that they deserve, in the way God meant us to be loved. “Staying in a relationship JUST because you love somebody is not worth it. Love IS NOT all you need. Respect is what you need. Time is what you need. Reassurance is what you need. Happiness is what you need. A best friend is what you need.”-thoughtology9. In my opinion, when you have respect, time, assurance, happiness and a best friend in your partner, you’ll have an even deeper love, an unbreakable love and an everlasting love.

Now you know what I think is sexy, what are your thoughts? Love can be given and received freely, and when you truly love someone, admitting it and showing it, well, it should be pretty easy, don’t ya think? Send me a text or comment, I love getting all your feedback. I look forward to connecting with you all again this week. Until next time though, don’t forget, Love Life++