Happy Birthday

Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing this fine Monday? What a crazy day it’s been. I wasn’t sure I’d get a blog done today. I’ve had the worst migraine for the last 4-5 days and all I can say is, wow, it knocked me on my butt this morning. If I could drive, I so would of went to the ER. It was that bad. It’s not as bad now thank goodness. I took my shot and some medicine through the day and just took things a little slower. I think some of the headache was from the stress of life, being more confined to home, etc. I know you all know what I’m talking about. This whole Covid crazy is really getting to so many of us. It’s hit close to home for me too. My lovely daughter in laws dad is in pretty bad shape in ICU and on a ventilator. Praying he will recover. I did learn that even though this man has been super beyond crazy careful, the one thing he didn’t do was wear a mask when out on his walks and according to the hospital, they told is family that this is a huge way people are getting it. Guards are let down and you chat with people, and you don’t think about how germs are being spread. I know I’m certainly guilty of that. I don’t even think to wear a mask when out walking, but I am changing that effective immediately. I do hope you are all staying safe out there and that you are all healthy and well.

Today I wanted to chat about birthdays. You see, my daddy would of been 77 years young today. I lost him 7 months ago. I was thinking today about how much I miss him. I thought that how I wish I could of called him to wish him a very happy birthday. He had a lifetime of birthdays that I wasn’t apart of. I had a lifetime of birthday’s that he was absent from. I found my dad just 6 short years ago. I sit her reflecting on how much I treasure the time I had with him. I know he wasn’t a good dad when I was young and I know he made many terrible mistakes, but he’s still my dad. Always was, always will be. I suppose I look past the mistakes he made because he never made excuses for them. He owned them and simply asked for my forgiveness. When I search my heart, I don’t think I ever felt hatred for him, even though he wasn’t there. I felt hurt at times, but not angry or resentment. John says it’s because I had this picture in my mind of what my relationship with him was supposed to be like, so I held close those perceptions over the way things were for so very long. At the end of the day, he was my daddy and I loved him so much.

When I found my dad, I was what many ex JW’s refer to as PIMO. I was physically in, but mentally out of the religion. The first year I found dad, I didn’t wish him a happy birthday, not because I didn’t want to, but because it wasn’t allowed within the religion. “Jehovah’s Witness do not celebrate birthdays because we believe that such celebrations displease God. Although the Bible does not explicitly forbid celebrating birthdays, it does help us to reason on key features of these events and understand God’s view of them.”-JW.org/frequently asked questions. The article then goes onto list four reasons why birthdays aren’t celebrated. Basically, they say it’s because a birthday is from pagan roots. They say too that early Christians didn’t celebrate birthdays as well as the claim that the Bible doesn’t talk about any servant of God celebrating a birthday and finally birthday’s are told to be celebrated in the Bible, only a death. Ecclesiastes 7:1-” A good name is better than good oil, and the day of death is better than the day of birth.”

The JW reasoning seems sound I suppose, that is, if you choose to live a rigid life, however, according to zoowho.com, the reason to celebrate a birthday is, ” a person’s birthday is important because it shows the person you’re thinking of them and in turn, they feel valued by you. Wishing someone a happy birthday is an easy way to create a positive experience between you and others. It also helps you build your reputation.” Pumpitupparty.com asks the question, “have you ever wondered where the celebration of birthdays started? In the simplest of terms, it’s a time for friends and family to come together and celebrate you, the anniversary of your birth, and another year of your life under your belt.” Why are birthday’s important to me? Birthday’s especially became important to me because when my sons were born, it was a day that was unlike any other. The day they entered this world was a day that I can never relive. It was a day I became their mother and the day I met these two amazing people that grew within my body for nine months. When they came into this life of mine, they made me a mom, they made me a better person, and they were my precious gifts from God. Their births should be celebrated, maybe not by everyone on the planet, but at the very least by me. One of the hardest things for me being a JW for as long as I was, was that I couldn’t celebrate openly the birth of my children. They deserved those missed birthday celebrations, however, moving forward, I can recognize openly the day they were born and the day I became their mom. I won’t let anyone make be feel guilty for that anymore.

After I left the religion, I started wishing my loved ones happy birthday and I not only felt good about it, they felt good knowing I remembered their day. It isn’t about presents and cakes and parties. It is though about remembering someone in your life. If they didn’t come into the world on the day of their birth, our lives would be missing a little piece of wonderful. I am so thankful that I was able to wish my dad 4 happy birthdays. Four is such a low number, but those four were and are a memory I was able to share with dad. While I miss him like crazy, especially today, I can sit here and write my blog and think of how grateful I am for the time we shared, the memories we made and the deep, heartfelt talks we had. I remember when dad came to California shortly after I found him, he and I spent a few days alone at my cabin. We were talking and having a couple beers and I’ll never forget, we were listening to Dolly Parton, one of dad’s favorites. Dad got tears in his eyes and said to me, “baby girl, I can’t undo the past, I can’t turn the clock back and redo not being there for you, but I will always be here for you from this day forward.” He then smiled and looked at me and said, “it’s true what they say, little girls are always, daddy’s little girls and I love you. You’ll always be my little girl.” I will forever hold his words close to my heart and I will forever be his little girl. While I am sad that he is not with me and I couldn’t wish him happy birthday, I am forever his little girl and I will always wish him a very happy birthday wherever he may be. Happy Birthday daddy, I love you and miss you so very much.

Most traditions and celebrations in life have a pagan origin, but those pagan ideas are long gone in the minds of most. I’m not trying to influence your thoughts, or persuade you from doing what you feel is right for you and your family, but in my opinion, I don’t think remembering and telling someone happy birthday is a bad thing at all. When I tell you happy birthday it’s because I am happy you were born and I am glad to have you in my life and even more glad to be apart of your life in some way. If your birthday never happened, you wouldn’t be here and I’d have a different life, so, knowing when your birthday is, I’m going to wish you the happiest of birthday’s. It’s your day and a day I’m happy happened.

What should my own birthday mean to me? What does it mean to me? Sure, it’s a day that many shy away from because it means getting another year older and I suppose for many of us, once we hit a certain age it’s almost a reminder of how close we are to catching up to our parents ages, maybe even our grandparents ages. Yes, we are all getting older, and hopefully we are also getting a little wiser. My birthday is also a reminder of how far I’ve come in this life. The milestones I’ve hit and the ones I want to reach. I’m 52 years old and the mother of two amazing sons. One day I’ll be a grandma. I’ve been a daughter, a wife, a mother, a mother in law, an aunt, a sister in law and a sister and one of my next milestones will be making grandma. Without reaching certain ages, that wouldn’t be possible, so getting older, it isn’t all bad. There is much good in it. I look at John’s mom, she’s a little older then me, but she’s reached the milestone of being a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a mother in lay, a sister in law, an auntie, a grandma and now a great grandma. She is surrounded by the love of her family and without reaching certain ages, she wouldn’t be where she is today. I’m sure she’d love to be a little younger, yet I know she wouldn’t trade it. Her birthday’s mark her milestones of seeing her family grow. She’s grown and along with her, so has her family and her love. I think that’s a pretty good reason to wish this wonderful woman a happy birthday when her special day arrives. This is another reason I choose to celebrate the day those dear to my heart were born. I want to recognize those I love and the many amazing accomplishments they’ve reached in whatever time they’ve been alive.

So as today winds down and another day has almost gone, I’d like to wish my daddy who has passed away, a very happy birthday. I miss him so much, and I am thankful for the few too many birthday’s I was able to talk to him. While birthday’s may of come from a pagan origin, most people today are not looking at birthdays in that light. Birthdays have become a way of celebrating a person’s life, they are a way to show someone how much they mean to you and how grateful you are to have and be apart of their lives. So, birthday’s are simply a way to celebrate wonderful people and they are also a way for us to reflect on our own accomplishments and milestones.

I think that’s about all I have to say today on birthdays. I am thankful to be free to wish all my family, friends and readers, very happy, happy birthdays. With love to you all, thank you for reading and don’t forget, drop me a comment or send me a text. Don’t forget, Love Life++