Family…

Happy Friday,

How is everyone doing this evening? Enjoying some left over turkey? I’m sort of in the mood for some turkey. Even though there was turkey yesterday, I indulged on the ham. Now I’m kinda wanting turkey. Tomorrow I’m supposed to make a turkey dinner for John and his boys. Wish my boys and their lovelies could join us. I know turkey dinner is certainly Tommy’s favorite and I know Kevin was able to enjoy turkey dinner with Jagger and her family yesterday. I love how a turkey dinner warms up the house and, oh the smell of it cooking, mmmmm, I can hardly wait to get it cooking and served. Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and all the fixin’s, yup, I’m getting excited. If there’s any leftovers, I’ll have to make it into a turkey noodle soup. Hey, send me a comment or two and let me know how your Thanksgiving was. I love hearing from everyone.

Today has been a really good day. I spent a couple hours on the phone with my auntie Tina. She’s so awesome. We were sending pictures back and forth during our conversation. You see, aunt Tina is my dad’s baby sister. She just came into my life a couple years ago. She’s one of the many gifts I received in finding my dad. We had so much fun on the phone talking about life, our kiddos, and our strong family genes. She has such a contagious laugh, and it just brightened my day. She reached out to my son Tommy and my daughter in law Kaitlyn and became friends with Katie on Facebook. Hopefully they will be able to build a family connection now that they’ve connected.

I was thinking about how important family is to me. I’m so thankful that my boys were able to experience family as they grew up. They had wonderful grandparents on their dad’s side of the family, and along with their grandparents they were blessed with amazing aunt’s, uncles and cousins. To this day, they have continued their friendships with some of their aunts, uncles and cousins. It’s a marvelous gift they have in family and I hope they’ll always have that.

I do regret that they never got to know my family, I mean really know them. I take responsibility for that. I allowed others to influence me on being close to my family. I allowed my mother’s influence over me to continue my separation from all of them. I’m truly sorry for that. I’ve been beyond blessed to be able to rekindle and start a new friendship with many of them. I really missed out on knowing them. My boys will never have the opportunity to grow up with their cousins again, however, as they start their families and their cousins have their children, I do hope they can find each other and build some amazing relationships. I think finding my dad and brothers then losing dad, it has helped me see just how important family is. Talking with aunt Tina this morning, and sharing photos, it has stirred up so many emotions. She sent me a picture of her son and I sent her photos of my brothers and cousins and we were blown away by the strong family resemblances. I then think how these guys are all related and don’t really even know each other.

I was thinking about all the lost years and wondering and dreaming of what it would of been like to grow up with my brothers and cousins, aunt and uncles and though we can’t go back in time, we can move forward, which for me, includes keeping in touch with everyone in my family. It’s my goal to stay in touch with everyone. There’s some pretty awesome people I’m related too and I want to have them in my life, even if it’s just for a brief moment. “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”-Desmond Tutu. I know there are family members that we perhaps don’t see eye to eye with. There are some we can’t have in our lives either by choice or circumstance, however, at the end of the day, they are still family.

I have a couple family members who are not in my life and that’s okay. I still love them and hope only the best for them. In my journey and in reaching the age of 50 something, I can say, it’s not worth holding onto grudges. “Life is too short, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change.”-positivestic. You see, to me, holding onto the hurt caused by some, it takes so much energy. It sacrifices my own health and it really isn’t worth it. While they are family and I’ll always regard them as such, I’ll always love them, I just can’t have them in my life and they can’t or don’t want me in theirs. It’s one of those things that can’t be changed right now, and I’m not sure it ever can be, but if the opportunity presents itself, absolutely, we can pick up where we left off.

I’m sorry for disappointing people who are family and whom I regarded as family. I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to your expectations of what you thought my life should be. I’m doing my best to live up to my own though. I fall, I stumble and I stand up and wipe the dirt off and try and keep moving forward. “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”-Steve Maraboli. I think by forgiving ourselves and the situations, we fully understand how some people can and forever will remain in our hearts, but they can’t stay in our lives.

Family is amazing, family is important, family is crazy and it can be challenging, but family, whether near or close are always apart of our growth. We carry a little piece of all of them in our hearts forever. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore, it’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”-Deborah Reber. When we have family or even friends that feel they have the right to think for us, feel for us, and set expectations for us, we have a choice. We can give them that control or we can take control over our own lives. If they choose to not accept that we are thinking individuals who from time to time may seek their opinions, then maybe we need to part ways. If they can accept us for being unique individuals and we accept them for their own uniqueness, then we want them to stay in our close inner circle. They are the ones that have our best interest at heart. They are the ones that want what’s best for us and allow us to work towards those desires, wants and goals and support us along the way. They are the ones we do the same for.

Family is not only those who are connected to us by blood, but those who come into our lives and accept us for who we are. Our friends who have become our family. I’m blessed to have both. I’m connected to family members, some more then others and I have friends that are more family to me then those I share DNA with. I have the best of both worlds and my wish for those that have left my life, be it family or friends, my wish is for you to be happy, safe and well. I hope your journey in this life brings you peace and love.

“Families area like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.”-Unknown. To all my family and friend who are in my life or who have left my life, I am thankful for you and for what you’ve given me in this life. You have all left a stamp on my heart that I will always cherish. I hope you are all dong well. I hope you are happy and that you continue on this journey of life thriving and growing into more amazing people then you already are. Thank you for your continued love and support and for helping me get to this place in my life. Remember, no matter where you are in this life, it’s never too late to keep moving forward. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++