Enough

Happy Thursday,

How is everyone doing this fine Thursday evening? Good I hope. All is well here. I didn’t accomplish all that much today, however, I am super excited to get started on some craft projects and I’m excited to get my amazing daughter in laws sisters baby quilt done. It is becoming a necessity for me to work on projects now as I’ve sort of been grounded by doctors to pretty much stay home. If you know me, you know that I’m the kinda gal that simply enjoys walking through Hobby Lobby from time to time or Joann’s. I just love seeing all the fun stuff those stores have to offer.

My dear sweet and amazing friend Leslie sent me this wonderful quote this week. You see, Leslie is one of my confidants who always has a listening ear. With the hurtful issue that happened this past week, she was one that I was able to reach out to and again, she listened and she kicked my butt, in a very loving way yet stern way. You see, Leslie and I have been friends for over 20 years. She tells me stories about things we used to do years ago. I wish I could remember them all, but I’m glad she does and I’m so grateful she shares them with me. I hope some day to regain all of my memory so I can share those memories with her.

Leslie is amazing in that she listens. She makes me think and she helps me reason things out, plus, she remembers the things I tell her, which helps me when things happen or reoccur, ’cause she can remind me of conversations. With that being said, she helped me realize that there are certain people that aren’t healthy to have in my life. They cause me tons of stress and I can feel the anxiety within me increasing when I have dealings with them, even when it’s only by way of phone conversations. I’m helped to realize that it’s in everyone’s best interest that I limit myself from the drama that seems to go hand in hand with certain people. I will say, it’s not going to be easy detaching from them, because I’ve had a closeness with them, but sometimes, it’s needed in order to restore my own mental health. Peace of mind is something of high value. Letting toxic relationships go isn’t cruel or mean, it’s simply, self-care.

The quote Leslie sent me got me thinking, how can I turn this horrible situation into a positive? I’m not so sure there’s anything positive about it, but, I can choose to learn something and this is why. “Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience. Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet. Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion. Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back. Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love. Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear. Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go”-Unknown.

John is always telling me to let go and let God. I can’t control what other people say, what they do or how they chose to treat me, but I can control my response, and that’s the only thing I need to own in any relationship. I am learning that it’s okay to say no, it’s okay to not only want, but expect a level of respect in my relationships. It’s not okay to be talked about or have people assume they know my business when I haven’t shared anything with them and if I have shared something personal with you, it really isn’t okay to share it with others, especially when you embellish things. It’s annoying, it hurts and its unacceptable. I am putting my foot down, enough already. I know that even though certain relationships aren’t healthy, perhaps they even border on being toxic, but I also know that doesn’t mean that people are bad, cruel or even uncaring. I know people sometimes, including myself, say things thinking we are helping, when in all honesty, we are only hurting the situation. “Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because…. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us, and as hard as it is, we have to let them go.”-Daniell Koepke. So if I bid you farewell, it doesn’t mean that I love you any less, it just means I’m learning to love me more and I’m learning to take care of my own mental well being.

“If I ever decide to give up on you, you need to understand how much that took out of me. I’m the type who gives endless chances, always has your back and truly accepts you for who you are. When the rest of the world doesn’t want you, I will. So if I decide to give up on you, please understand that it took everything that was left inside of me to leave you alone.”-unknown. I value each and every person that comes into my life. One of the hardest things I’ve had to accept over these last few years is that in my wildest of dreams, I never thought certain people would of abandoned me, back stabbed me and set their intentions on purposely hurting me. I can accept if they didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I can accept if they chose to not have me in their lives. I can even accept if they chose to not associate with me because of their belief system. What I can’t accept is the hatred from some as a result of certain life changes. I used to say, I’m still me, I haven’t changed, but I think I need to make a correction to that statement. I’m still me, but I have changed and I am continuing to change. I am growing and becoming who I was meant to be. I will make mistakes. I have made mistakes and I will disappoint you. I will hurt you. I will surprise you and I will say things that should never be said. I can say this though, I will never intentionally screw up. I will never purposely disappoint you or hurt you and I will never betray your trust deliberately.

Life is so short. When we hold a grudge, we are only depleting our happiness. I hope we can all laugh often, apologize when we need to and most importantly, let go of what we can’t change. Enough is enough. I’ve hit the wall. I can’t put any more energy into trying to please everyone all the time. I’m sorry if I disappoint you, hurt you or cause you any type of pain. It’s not on purpose. I’m still me. I’m imperfect. I am doing my best to be a good person and I’m trying so hard to treat everyone the way I want to be treated. I’m letting go and letting God. I’d like to say this to everyone whose ever been apart of my life. No matter what our relationship is now, I am thankful for the role you played in my life. “If there is a tomorrow when we’re not together… There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think…But the most important thing is even if we’re apart. I’ll always be with you.”-Winnie the Pooh. I love this quote. As our lives go in different directions, I will always try and remember only the good times and bury the hurt. If I chose to let you go or you’ve chosen to let me go, I’ll always be with you. I’ll always care. You will always matter to me.

Every person who is in my life, whose been in my life and will come into my life. I am grateful and thankful for you and for what you have brought to my life. I love you all. Until next time, be kind to one another and don’t forget, Love Life++