Come sit with me for a moment and let’s chat

Happy Sunday,

How is everyone doing on this incredible Sunday morning? We are only 4 days away from Christmas. Do you have all your shopping done? I do. With my upcoming surgery tomorrow morning, Christmas will be a rather quiet one in our home, and that’s okay. Next year we’ll deck the halls, trim lots of trees and light up our home so Santa knows where to stop for some rumballs and cookies.

Remember the odd circle in the middle of my new yard? The one where I was struggling to figure out what to do? Well, I decided during Christmas I want to put a huge Christmas tree right smack dab in the middle. I want to create my very own North Pole.

Johns rather bummed he can’t put up his much-wanted permanent lights on the new house. He said with two bay windows, and with the home’s style, well, he said there’s no way to make it work.

In just a little over a week, this will be our new nesting place. Can you believe it? Best Christmas gift ever!! Well, second best Christmas gift. The best gift I ever received was my second son who was born 7 days before Christmas. I got to bring him home in a stocking. The hospital wrapped all babies born in December in stockings to go home in instead of a baby blanket. So even though I didn’t celebrate Christmas back in the day, I can still remember how precious my son looked all bundled up in his first ever stocking.

Speaking of Christmas and not being able to celebrate this most magical time of year, I’ve had a couple things weighing heavily on my mind and I thought I’d share those with you this morning if that’s okay?

I had someone comment to me recently that I left Jehovah God. Mmm, I didn’t leave God, I still have a very strong belief. I simply left a religion/cult. Never God, though I’ve been bogged down with a thought I can’t seem to escape.

Yesterday I actually found myself wondering if God is punishing me for leaving the cult. I grew up believing and having it pounded into my mind that if a person leaves Jehovah, they will have a life of challenges. Thankfully, I didn’t allow this negative thought about the loving God I now worship to fester. I had to stop dead in my tracts and remind myself of all the wonderful blessings that have entered my life since leaving the confines of cult life. Sure, there are challenges, but there’s always going to be challenges.

God blessed me with John. He’s blessed me with two bonus sons, and he’s blessed me with the welcoming arms of John’s family. Really, the only thing I lost, besides monetary wealth was being bound by rules and regulations that are actually fading away from the religion in an effort to keep it’s converts under thumb.

I never stopped believing in God. I only changed my perception of the type of creator he is. I grew up in a fear mongering religion/cult. I feared being destroyed by God’s hand. Photos like the one below were common in weekly discourses and readings. As a young child this type of photo was something my mother used to scare me into obedience.

When I decided to leave Watchtower, I didn’t act on impulse. Leaving was extremely difficult, and it didn’t come without its consequences. I still receive backlash to this day from those who are still indoctrinated when we cross paths at a grocery store or while I’m out and about. I’ve learned to put on some gator skin when I see folks who once professed to be my friend. I feel sorry for them needing to shun me so harshly. They’ve been brainwashed and that’s all they know. I remind myself that they’re simply following the orders of JW.org and their now unspoken rules. I used to think just like they do, so there’s hope for all those still stuck inside.

For me, I didn’t just wake up one day and stop believing. It was over the course of months, maybe even years. Doubt slowly started creeping in. Certain teachings stopped making sense. It was a bunch of my prayers not being answered, at least, I thought at the time they weren’t being answered that helped me wake up.

When I began to lose faith completely in a higher power, it was then that 4 amazing men came into my life. My brothers. A wonderful friend from middle school, named Dave and my dad. These men all played a crucial role in helping me see that God was answering my prayers and they gave me the strength to believe in myself, so much so that I was able to walk away from the cult/religion I was born into, and I survived some pretty scary moments along the way, but their support helped me through it all.

Some of those men who came into my life have left. Dad passed in 2020. My friendship with Dave has become quite distant due to life happenings and a brother or two have had life happen for them as well. Oh sure, I know I can call on any one of these guys and they’d pick up the phone, all except dad. He and I talk in a different way now that’s he’s passed on, but the point is, God gifted me the strength I needed when I needed it most. He gifted me some pretty amazing life support family and friends. I just failed to realize it then, but now, I thank Him for those gifts he sent to me back in my wake-up days.

Having the strength of those in my life at the time of me waking up from the teachings of Watchtower helped me dive headfirst down the rabbit hole of really researching what the “truth” meant for me.

I was lied to most of my life the way I see it. I was taught I would never graduate high school and now, I’m so old I could actually have a grandchild old enough to be near graduation. Thank goodness I don’t, but I could. I was told Armageddon would be here long before I grew old and now, I’m rushing up on 60 in a few years, and the list goes on.

One thing is for certain, life goes on and it changes. I’ve become quite aware of just how fast it can change this past week. It doesn’t always change the way we expect it to. Sometimes the changes become so overwhelming that my brain goes directly to the spin cycle.

I’m not a big fan of chaos and it seems this week I’ve had my fair share of it, but I’ve also had my fair share of love and support. I’ve been blessed to drive my neighborhood judging all the homes that are entered into the holiday home decorating contest. I’ve been blessed to be one of Santa’s many elves who not only helped wrap presents but deliver them too to all the kiddos on my little town. I’ve hit my goal weight loss markers at each weigh in this week. I’m officially declared ready for surgery tomorrow morning and while I’ve thought of postponing it, I am glad to be getting it done and over with.

Fingers crossed I can come home no later than Tuesday. Doctor said 2-5 days. I tried to explain we are moving in less than two weeks, but that didn’t seem to persuade him into guaranteeing me a quick release from the hospital. Thank goodness for loved ones who’ve all offered to come and help me pick up the pace with what needs to be handled before my move.

Life continues to gift me many challenges along the way, it also continues to gift me countless blessings. I’ve got lots to learn and I’m excited about all the new unknown journey’s life promises to bring my way.

One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. When I fall, I’ll make sure to get up and wipe off the dirt and keep going. I’ll continue to pray for loved ones still indoctrinated by false teachings, not that they wake up and leave. Instead, I’ll pray that they are truly happy where they are in life and that they aren’t living life in fear.

Tomorrow is my big surgery day. Christmas this year looks way different then years past. We’re moving into our forever home in less than two weeks. Chaos has engulfed our space, and that’s okay. I’m sure life will look way different next week.

I know one thing is for sure, I have a huge engagement party I must get to planning. My son and his future wife chose the party date to happen at my new home on February 28. I must get to planning their Amore’ engagement party no later than January 1. They’ve given me the theme. The menu and now, to get them over to the new house so Jagger can decide just how she wants things to be set up. It’s going to be a grand event most definitely.

This is the season to reflect on all that is good. All I want for Christmas is for you all to have the greatest of days, the bestest of years ahead and I pray each of you are able to make memories being surrounded by those you love. If you’re alone this Christmas for whatever reason, remember that you are loved and I’ll be sending lots of holiday spirit your way, along with lots and lots of air hugs.

Well guys, I must get to walking the pups, they’re beginning to make a couple breezers reminding me they need their potty walk.

Thanks for stopping by and please don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.