Dear Dawna

Happy Monday,

How are you doing? We’re officially in what appears to be another busy work week. I wasn’t ready for Monday, but holy heck, Monday showed up and here we are. No, I’m not working, but I do have a huge obligation I need to take care of for the next three and a half weeks, so I’m right there with all you workers and I’m up super early like many of you, 4:45 am Monday through Friday. Today was an exception to that rule, I was up at 2:45. UGH!

This morning, I took the love of my life to the airport. Johns in Denver on business and I sure do miss him. It’s just calming knowing he’s here at home, but Thursday will come super-fast I hope, and John will be back home where he belongs. I support his traveling, but the missing him part will never go away.

So today was exhausting for me, and that’s okay. I actually got to spend some time with Grant, one on one and we actually had a fantastic conversation on the way home from school. We talked about his upcoming graduation from aeronautics school. We talked about things he hopes to do with his certifications and where he’d like to work. We also talked about his fears of launching into a job and leaving home and moving in with friends who have also chosen to become jet/airplane mechanics. Grant said he felt better when I told him, “You might fail from time to time at work. You might make some mistakes, but you are learning, and they are teaching you to become an independent mechanic. Your certified and you’re ready! Just have faith in yourself. Your dad and I have faith in you. It’s okay to be afraid of the unknown, but don’t ever let it stop you from reaching for the stars and living every dream you’ve ever had and then some. Your dad and I will be right here cheering you on and we’ll always be by your side to help pick up the pieces in case you fall.”

I think Grant needed to know he wasn’t being sent out into the world alone. He can always come home, just like the other boys.

The world is a scary place when you’ve always had dad and for the last 8 years, a step-in-mom.

I think I was forgetting just how crippling leaving the nest might be for Grant and that made me sad. I needed to really hear him, and today, I did.

I love this young man as though he were my own bio son, I just needed the reminder that he’s still a boy in the sense he needs the tools from us to launch and be successful. He is only 19, and a little more love and understanding on my part will go a long way to making him even more successful in his life.

Grant is an extremely smart and gifted young man. He’s loyal. He’s got a heart of gold. He can solve puzzles like nobody’s business. This young man of ours amazes me and though he still is learning how to work in the big boy world, he WANTS to learn and soar. Grant says he can hardly wait to work on the “Big Boys” as he calls them, you know, the real airplanes that you and I fly on. He’s more ready than he realizes, and he’s got the love of John and me to remind him of just how amazing and talented he is, especially when he doubts himself.

Grant also has the love and support of his grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins too. He has extended family and friends standing here on the sidelines exploding inside with excitement. We are all front and center as he begins his career. He’s going to be an incredible airline mechanic. I have no doubt.

I think I forgot how scary it really can be leaving home for the first time. Don’t get me wrong, Grants at least 4-6 months out from actually leaving us. I think anyway. He told me today that he thinks he might be able to complete his last two certification tests sooner then he thought.

This young man of ours is funny. He, like many others, including myself, has a fear of failing a test. He has aced every one of them. His brain works a little like mine though. I think and overthink way too much, and that’s exactly what he said to me today.

Seems Grant and I fear failing. I think we need to work on this together. We need to remind each other just how incredible we are. I’m a proud mama to all my boys, bio and bonus.

I have no doubt once Grant gets his hands on his first aircraft, he’ll be moving up the ladder to lead mechanic or even an inspector. The world of aircraft has endless possibilities and with the occasional kick in the boot, he’ll begin taking those steps with a splash of fear that will be squashed by his excitement for his next big problem solving with the intricate detail of what’s broken on a plane.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, Grant is going to leave everyone speechless when he begins his journey of fixing aircraft and I couldn’t be prouder of him.

This experience with my bonus son today brings me to the reason as to why I titled this blog, Dear Dawna.

My name is actually Dawna-Rae. Some call me Dawn, others call me Dawna and then there’s those that call me, Dawna-Rae. We’ll leave my last name out for now. A little mystery is always a good thing.

So, why did I title my blog Dear Dawna?

Have you heard of Dear Abby? Well, I’m launching Dear Dawna right here on my blog site, Love Life with Dawna. I hope to be able to eventually launch a new site, but I want to find out if there is an interest for a Dear Dawna.

So here goes, shoot me a Dear Dawna question and I’ll see what you think of my reply. For now though, here’s an example of what I’m hoping my site will look like. Dear Abby’s column is and was my inspiration for Dear Dawna:

DEAR ABBY: I don’t want to appear conceited but Im forced to admit that I am one guy who has everything. Women are always flocking around me and telling me how good-looking I am and what a marvelous personality I have. Im beginning to find this pretty annoying and extremely tiring. I just want to live a normal quiet life. How can I dissuade these hopeful females? C.W.

DEAR C.W: Keep talking.

Dear Abby’s advice here was spot on. She kept it simple yet got the point across.

Here’s another example:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!

Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were “different,” they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase “when in Rome,” I don’t feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in?

DEAR UNHAPPY: Sure, I would like to weigh in. The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.” Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.

From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don’t blow it.

Again, Dear Abby was blunt, yet she gave Dear Unhappy in Tampa something to think about. She gave a lot of readers, something to ponder over.

I appreciated Dear Abby pointing out in not so direct words to her readers: make sure you check out the neighborhood. Understand the demographics of the folks who will be your neighbors and consider if you can be accepting or not. As the newbie neighbor, Unhappy in Tampa isn’t being asked to change her belief system, however, you cannot go into a neighborhood and cause division by not including people who welcomed and included you.

Dear Abby said it perfectly, “I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.”

My goal for Dear Dawna? More than anything I want to help people get along with each other. I want to make a difference in this life. I hope to help people step out of their own shoes and into the shoes of others and perhaps see things from their point of view.

I grew up reading Dear Abby. I didn’t always agree with what she said, but what she said made sense, at least to me.

I’m not saying she was always right in her opinion, but she did give it. Her opinion that is. Why? Because she was asked.

The Dear Abby column was a staple in the newspaper that I loved reading alongside my Aunt Billie and Uncle Bud. I didn’t realize it then, but reading an actual newspaper when I was growing up helped nurture my desire for writing. Honestly, I think Dear Abby and her column helped blaze the fire within me to someday be the next Dear Abby, or Dear Dawna. I can’t be her, but I hope I can learn from her many, many, many advice columns.

From:

https://cheezburger.com/17739269/top-10-best-dear-abby-advice-column-responses-that-left-readers-speechless

When people are in a bind, it’s sometimes tough to make the right decision. That’s why, in 1956, Dear Abby, the most famous (or notorious) advice column was born. 

With her slicing wit, quick responses, and drop-the-mic attitude Pauline Phillips, under the pen name “Abigail Van Buren”, absolutely crushed giving advice to strangers about a whole myriad of problems. 

Are you in the love with two boys ? Abby’s got you. Are you wishing that wife-spanking was legalized nationwide? Abby’s going to let you know what she thinks about that. Is twerking going to ruin your son’s prospects of ivy-league graduation day? Abby is here to tell it to you straight. 

So here is a homage to the best of the best of Dear Abby, reminding us that wisdom is often swift, true, and it stings a bit. 

I hope you click on the link, because it is there you can read some of Dear Abby’s greatest.

I kept it a secret for all of my life, but becoming a Dear Dawna and hopefully following the role model I’ve admired from early childhood, I can learn from her and all the advice she’s given over the years.

I’m letting one of my many desires or secrets be known to anyone and everyone who’d like to help me follow that dream. Cat’s out of the bag and I hope to serve this journey and my readers well.

So, are you with me? Do you like my Dear Dawna idea? If I start getting some positive feedback to launch a Dear Dawna column separate from Love Life with Dawna, I’ll begin sharing the link below when I get the page up and running that is.

You guys have always supported me and cheered me on and that is why I wanted to share this dream with all of you.

Dear Dawna? Yes? NO? Thoughts? Drop me a comment or shoot me a text. I’ll be waiting.

After my heartfelt talk with Grant, my bonus son today, I realized that I personally need to be more aware of his needs, along with his fears. I realized I can’t always be pushing him towards following his dream, I need to listen and see where I can maybe help him feel comfortable enough to share with me where his mind is. Maybe if I listen more, he’ll launch into adulting with more confidence.

He graduates from aeronautics school on Friday, then he has three more weeks to finish up another class, then, he’s ready to apply for his first big boy job in his chosen field.

Just writing that makes my tummy twirl and I become worried, not about his ability, but I worry about his happiness. I worry about letting go and letting him ease into manhood and becoming his own person. That’s a lot for a mama bear. What would Dear Abby say?

I’d like to think she’d say: Dear worried step-in-mom, ‘ease up on your own fears. Dad’s done an amazing job with Grant. You’ve helped dad guide Grant to maturity. It’s time to let go and, it’s okay to walk slowly behind him for a little bit. However, when he begins to run towards his future, you need to stop! He’ll turn around. Wave goodbye and thank you and dad for loving him enough to get him to the finish line of leaving his teen years behind and stepping into his manhood.

Grant will always be okay because he knows he can always come home and ask for guidance from his dad and step-in-mom. Grant has a solid foundation of love and support from his family, and he knows it.

In the meantime, show him some love, kindness, and compassion. He has a lot on his mind. Be there for him and I have no doubt; you’ll keep cheering him on as he conquers each and every milestone in his new adult life. (I feel like this is something Dear Abby might say to me, the step-in-mom who needed to be reminded of that inner flutter of fear we all face as we begin our chapter into adulting. This mama bear needed to be reminded that my fear isn’t that Grant won’t succeed, instead, it’s fear of mama letting go of her precious bonus boy).’

I’ve had to let go of two sons already as they launched into living their lives independent of me. You’d think it would get easier, but it doesn’t. The worry and questioning myself, asking my inner mama bear, “did I do enough to prepare him”? And somehow, he’ll be just as incredible and independent as Tommy and Kevin.

Well guys, that’s about all I have for tonight. I hope I didn’t’ ramble too much. My brain is officially on strike and it’s time for me to crawl into my lonely bed. Of course, Molly and Oreo will find their way to Johns side and keep it warm for him until he comes home.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.