Dear John

Good morning everyone, rise and shine:

How are you all doing? Sleep well. I hope so. If your reading this before work or before you set out in the world for whatever reason, be safe out there.

I wanted to thank everyone for all the loving comments on Monday’s blog. Your thoughts and opinions, along with your perspectives really helped me.

This blog is being written at 12:30 am on Tuesday morning. I can’t sleep, so I decided to write. I should be working on my book, however, I’ve had something pulling at my heart, so I decided to write my dear John letter.

This blog is dedicated to the man I love. John.

Dear John,

I know I’ve said to you many times, if something ever happened to you or if we for some reason don’t work anymore, I’m done. I wouldn’t step into another relationship and I know this has puzzled you, perhaps even hurt you. So let me explain what my heart has finally revealed to me.

You have shown me what true love is. You have and continue to treat me the way every woman dreams of. You are kind, loving, compassionate and your heart is the purest love I’ve ever known.

You have shown me that I’m capable of so much more then simply being weak and without a voice. You’ve shown me that I matter in this world and you’ve opened up my entire universe to explore every creativity under the sun. You never get mad when I decide on a new craft. You only shake your head and tell me, ‘just don’t get rid of the crafting supplies you have if there is ever a doubt you’ll take up the hobby again. Don’t get rid of something then go buy it again in 6 months.’ Deal!

John, you saw in me things I never knew were possible. You gave to me the ability to open my heart and write. Even though I’m not a best selling author (yet), you still believe in me.

You my love have helped me grow. You’ve encouraged my independence and shown me that I can make it, even if you weren’t here.

I don’t want to do this life without you and I pray I go first so set up a new home wherever He sees fit for us in heaven. I want to be the one to open the door, kiss you deeply and softly, then welcome you home.

John, you’ve been the one person in my entire life that has and continues to build up my confidence. Nobody will ever or could ever fill your shoes and that’s okay.

I used to pray to God:

‘Before I die dear Father in heaven, let me know what it’s like to be loved, truly loved. Please dear Father, let me feel loved for who I am, not for what I can do for someone, but for who I am as a person. Let someone see the real me. Give me someone who will not only melt my heart, but who will make me feel safe in his arms. Give me someone who will kiss me and hold me tight. God, if it be your will, even if its only for a day, I sure would be forever grateful to know what true love is.”

He sent me you.

John, you know my inner soul. You know me better then I know myself much of the time. You were sent to me by God. You are His answer to my prayer and you have fulfilled my every need to be loved. You are the definition of unconditional love. Your love for me is obvious each and every day. No other man could replace you, so there would never be a reason to look.

You accept me for who I am. You love me unconditionally and I still see eternity when we make love. So when I tell you that if anything ever happened to you, or to us, I would never do this again. It’s not for any other reason then, nobody could ever fill your shoes.

I’ve known true love. I’ve known true happiness and I’ve known unconditional love because of you. My heart is full and I have you to thank.

Life’s not easy and so much of the time I feel like we’re in a game of dodge ball trying to avoid the crazy life gives us, but again, you are right there reassuring me we’ll get through this together.

You make me feel safe. You ground my crazy. Laying in your arms is my favorite place to be. With you I feel not only warm and safe, but secure.

John, you are the love of my life. You are the last person who is getting all my love and trust. You know the sides of me nobody else will ever see because you are the only one who makes me feel or has ever made me feel loved. You make me happy and you make my life so much better.

I’m the lucky one and I love you.

Dear John, you are the last person who will ever get my love. You are my final partner and you alone are the last man I’ll ever make love with.

I love you always and forever.