Stalkers

Happy Tuesday,

How are you all doing on this rather hot fall day? Currently it’s 99 degrees outside and it’s supposed to top out at 103 today. Holy heck where is our fall weather. I’ve been missing you Fall, please come back soon. I am beyond thankful for the AC, though I turned it off a little bit ago as I have the house super cold now and of course, I have all my fans blowing too.

I am wearing my nice fall shirt today. I want to keep in the spirit of fall and of course, Halloween.

Here’s me all cozied up writing to you all. I like to sit on my bed with it raised up so it’s like a lounge chair. As I sit up writing I get to gaze out at the lake and of course, my amazing hummingbirds that stop by throughout the day for their nutrition of sugar water. Oh, I just bought two little hummingbird houses, so once I have them up, I’ll send you guys a photo. Fingers crossed they’ll decide to nest in the houses. Wouldn’t that be amazing? What an honor it would be to have them consider my home theirs.

The hummingbirds do love my balcony. They spend a lot of time flying around and perching themselves on the wind chimes and lights. Here’s one of the little guys just hanging out. He’s been sitting there a good 5 minutes or so. The birds are one of my happy places.

One more thing before I get into today’s blog. I wanted to send out a special thank you to an incredibly amazing and talented friend/fellow blogger. Ms. Linda Bethea from Nutsrok, https://nutsrok.wordpress.com. You gotta check out her blog. She writes a lot about her family and childhood and she also shares jokes that are most certain to lift your spirits and brighten your day.

Linda sent me a special, hand made gift she did especially for me. It’s a hand bag and I absolutely love, love, love it!!! The colors are vibrant and I feel so honored to be the recipient of such a beautiful gift. It’s one I’ll forever cherish. In her note she sent along with the gift, she wrote, “consider it a mom gift. “

Linda knows my story of how my own mother hasn’t spoken to me in over 8+ years and I think Ms. Linda just wanted me to know that even though I don’t have my own mother in my life, there are other amazing ladies out in this world that I can look to for some motherly advice if and when I need it.

Thank you Linda from the bottom of my heart for my carrying bag. I love it.

Below is a photo of my new and beautiful bag. I know you’ll all love it too.

Linda is also an author. She wrote “Just Women Getting By, leaving a legacy of strength” and

Everything Smells Just Like Poke Salad.

I know you will enjoy her books. You can purchase them over on Amazon. I hope you’ll grab your copies soon. I got mine and I love them.

Now, onto today’s blog:

Today I wanted to talk about women, safety and what it looks like from the outside looking in of someone who has or has had a stalker. It’s scary!

While I don’t know the details of a story that was recently shared with me, nor do I know the stalker, I’ve recently met someone who has gone through being stalked and when she tells her story, the fear radiates from her voice and she becomes terrified at the prospect of her stalker stalking again.

What is a stalker exactly? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary Sept. 14, 2024: “A STALKER is a person who stalks: a person who pursues someone obsessively and aggressively to the point of harassment.”

Let me say, I’m not an expert in this area at all, but one thing I am certain of, nobody and I mean nobody deserves to be harassed, stalked, belittled, hit, abused or anything else he or she refuses to have done or personal space, especially to their peace.

When someone says they don’t want to be around you anymore, then respect their decision and move on. I mean, why would you want to be in someone’s life who doesn’t want you theirs? Just sayin’.

When I heard of this persons story I of course had to find out all I could about stalking and how to protect yourself to the best of your ability should you become a victim of such horrific and intense harassment.

In an article published by thebehaviourinstitue.com it said that “the majority of stalkers have severe personality disorders. The most common one among stalkers is narcissistic personality disorder, which gives stalkers an exaggerated feeling of self-worth and an obsessive desire for other people to admire and revere them.”

In an article published by Medical News Today, Aug. 18, 2023 it said this of stalkers: “According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, simple obsessional stalking is the most common form of stalking. It is when a person stalks an ex-partner or ex-employer. Often, this is because they feel wronged or rejected.”

How sad for anyone who is dealing with this kind of situation. I understand that most of the time if not all of the time a stalker has a severe personality disorder, however, the person on the receiving end of their problems live life in fear and much of the time, especially if it’s an ex spouse, not a lot can be done because of the fear that the stalker have put into their victim. Perhaps even for years this fear has been magnified.

What do stalkers want from their victims? “Stalkers are motivated by a desire to control their victims’ actions and feelings, and by a desire to maintain some type of connection with them – regardless of their victims’ wishes – through manipulation and control.”

Canyon Countyhttps://www.canyoncounty.id.gov › education › stalking

What can be done if you find yourself being stalked, especially by someone you know?

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Find a safe place to go if you are being followed or worry that you will be followed. Go to a police station, friend’s house, domestic violence shelter, fire station, or public area.

You can also take the following steps if you are being stalked:

• File a complaint with the police. Make sure to tell them about all threats and incidents.
• Get a restraining order. A restraining order requires the stalker to stay away from you and not contact you. You can learn how to get a restraining order from a domestic violence shelter, the police, or an attorney in your area.
• Write down every incident. Include the time, date, and other important information. If the incidents occurred online, take screenshots as records.
• Keep evidence such as videotapes, voicemail messages, photos of property damage, and letters.
• Get names of witnesses.
• Get help from domestic violence hotlines (link is external), domestic violence shelters, counseling services, and support groups. Put these numbers in your phone in case you need them.
• Tell people about the stalking, including the police, your employer, family, friends, and neighbors.
• Always have your phone with you so you can call for help.
• Consider changing your phone number (although some people leave their number active so they can collect evidence). You can also ask your service provider about call blocking and other safety features.
• Secure your home with alarms, locks, and motion-sensitive lights.

-fitzpatrick.house.gov/protecting-Americans-from-cyberstalking.

There are laws against stalking, even when police have their hands tied for various reasons, if we can find the strength to take control of our lives, and believe me, I understand, that’s easier said then done. It’s easier for me to say take control because I’m not in the situation. I understand the fear. My heart aches for the stress and everything anyone going through this has to endure, and I pray that anyone in this situation can get the help they not only need, but deserve. Being stalked, harassed and abused mentally, verbally and emotionally is NEVER okay.

Here are some suggestions by fitzpatrick.house.gov:

Stalking is a crime. Learn more about the laws against stalking in your state at the Stalking Resource Center (link is external). If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

You can file a complaint with the police and get a restraining order (court order of protection) against the stalker. Federal law says that you can get a restraining order for free. Do not be afraid to take steps to stop your stalker.

I know this site says- do not be afraid to take steps. I’m going to say, I don’t agree with that statement, however, I’m praying that fear doesn’t take over your life completely to the point you can’t seek the help you DESERVE!

My dear readers, I pray none of you are in this situation, but if you find yourself being stalked, I hope you are able to take immediate action to have the person with the severe personality disorder put away so you can live the life you deserve. A life of feeling safe and secure, especially in your own home.

Well guys, I need to say goodbye for today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for stopping by and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.