Losing hope

Happy Tuesday,

How are all you wonderful readers doing today? It’s Tuesday and it’s hotter than gravy on biscuits. Holy heck, yesterday my car registered 111 degrees. I knew I was in good hands though as 111 is said to mean: “it’s a message from the Universe indicating that the present holds exceptional potential for growth, transformation and realizing your professional dreams.”-Centre of Excellence.

I’m not so sure I believe in numbers, but lately, I’ve been seeing numbers in sets of three. 111, 222, 333.

According to Allure, when you see numbers quite often in sets of three, it’s “an indication of magnetic creativity. Noticing three as an angel number could mean you have the opportunity to add your unique talents and abilities to a situation.” Wouldn’t that be nice.

Like I said, I’m not so sure how much I believe in numbers, but I do believe in watching for signs. In some way, I feel when I pour out my heart in prayer to God, I always tell Him, “my mind is still pretty unorganized and I get confused because of all the false indoctrination I was raised with, so please, give me a sign and please make it so clear it knocks me in the head.”

Generally when I pray and ask or beg God to give me a sign, He does. Examples of the signs I get are, the feeling to listen to one of my devotional books or I’ll pick up my Bible and read something that seems to be on point for what I’m struggling with. There are times I’ll be walking and see a clear indication that my prayer was heard. Sometimes while driving I’ll talk to God and that’s when a lot of times I see the numbers in sets of three. I see them around the house when I look at the clock or even my phone.

I know many don’t believe in numbers or signs and that’s okay. For me, it brings me a sense of peace and comfort at times, sort of like when I see butterflies, I feel it’s my dad popping in to remind me that everything is okay and that he’s okay.

“When you ask for the signs that are going in the right direction, they will appear. When you start to notice them you’ll be filled with love and warmth.”-Victoria J. Brown.

I love getting my reminders that God is watching over me and that He is guiding me, especially when I begin with the what ifs and the overthinking.

Yesterday was a complicated day. I’m still trying to process things, however, I have to keep the mindset that it’s out of my control and I can’t change things. Whatever is going to happen will happen.

I guess for me, I’m the kind of gal that likes to know and plan for things. Very few things in life, my life are controllable and perhaps that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Letting go and letting God is always the best plan, so maybe my lesson for now is to just relax and let things play out the way they’re supposed to.

“Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. Sometimes what you never wanted or expected turns out the be what you need.”-marcandangel.

So very true those words are. I was messaging Mary K. Doyle over at Midwest Mary on her blog yesterday about the power of prayers. Mary is a very spiritual person and I encourage you to go over and check out her blog on WordPress. During our back and forth messages, we talked about the power of prayer.

She posted on her blog: Poem/Haiku and Excerpt–Spirituality for Health. Below are some excerpts from her post.

“Prayer is Powerful

Why do you worry?
If you believe in prayer,
you know its power.”

I believe strongly in prayer. I believe God answers me in his own time and when it’s right for me to receive His message. One thing I’m coming to learn is that the power of prayer is like nothing else, the only thing is, we, or I need to learn to rely more on His guidance.

Last night I received some news that could be very much life altering. No, I’m not sick, nor is anyone else in my world, but John and I are possibly facing some big changes in our world. Right now, I can’t tell you what those are out of respect for those involved, but, our world could possibly be in for some big time changes and I’ll be honest, I’m afraid of it.

Today I’ve had difficulty concentrating. I hope this blog makes sense, cause that’s how off I’m feeling right now. I’ve been praying a lot today and I reached out to my cousin Heather too. She’s so beyond entuned in a very spiritual way. Anyway, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt the matter John and I may have to deal with will be done according to His way. It’s just the heart racing and palpitations that I’m trying to breath through.

I know the situation is weighing heavily on John too, but he’s so calm, which is good, cause it gives me a sense of calm too. He internalizes, I talk, talk, talk until I’m all talked out. I think me talking is me thinking out loud. Maybe if I hear myself enough I can make sense of things. Gotta be careful though, don’t need to add stress to John and I can’t lose hope that things will work out the way He intends for them to.

“You might not see it yet, but there is a light after the darkness. Until then, never lose hope, and always believe that one day you will find peace again.”-unknown.

Spirituality relieves stress in difficult times. Throughout the struggles and heartaches of life, religion is the primary method by which a sizeable portion of older Americans cope. As we age, we tend to turn toward our faith in the midst of turmoil.-—Excerpt from Young in the Spirit.

Mary’s post was so encouraging and uplifting as where her words to me.

My dear readers, we all face times of trial. We all face times of uncertainty. We all at times jump on the what if wagon or the overthinking express, but we need to gently remind ourselves and others, it’s not up to us to control things. We need to leave life in His hands and we need to rely more on Him.

We might not see the answers right away and we might not even get the answers we thought best, but remember, He knows us better then anyone else and He knows what the right answer is at the right time. Rely on Him. It will always turn out for the best.

I’m trying diligently to remember this right now myself.

I used to have to be the rock in my previous life. I wasn’t allowed to think or express any fears, and in some ways, I wish I could go back to that, at least then I wouldn’t worry John so much.

Throughout the day, I ask of Him, “guide me and my words. Guide my path and please take away my worry. Help John to find clarity and gain understanding. He’s a good man and has a lot on his shoulders. Ease his path and open the doors to where he’s supposed to be led. Help him lead us down the path that you see fit for our life together.”

Now you know my prayers my dear readers and though I sometimes see no hope at the end of the tunnel, like I’m sure many of you can relate, I can’t lose hope or faith as long as I rely on Him.

Well guys, I need to say goodbye for now. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.

A quick glimpse into my book:

“I hated that Fullerton apartment. I hated everything about it. I remember the layout of that apartment almost like I was still there today, maybe because this is where it would happen again.”