Happy Wednesday evening
How is everyone doing on this beautiful Wednesday night? We are half way through another week here in 2024. Isn’t it amazing how quickly time is flying by? Not only are we half way through the week, we are half way through the year. I had so many resolutions I set out to do and yet, I’ve barely accomplished any of them. Guess what though? Tomorrow is a new day and I have the chance to accomplish something on my to-do list.
I did want to take a moment to let those whose blogs I subscribe to know I am way behind on my reading. This move that John and I are doing has finished me off for now. I have one more day of handling the move, then I’ll finally be home in the lake. I do intend on catching up on my reading over the next few days though, so please keep those blogs coming my way. I love reading them and interacting with you. Life has simply gotten in my way this week.
I wanted to write to everyone again today and talk about my friend whose son came out to her this past weekend. My friend is struggling. She reached out today saying that her baby boy is gay and she hasn’t been able to sleep.
We talked for awhile and I asked her the difficult question: “have you accepted him?” She said, “I think so.” I then asked her, what is so different about him today from yesterday, the day before or from last week? Her reply was, “I didn’t know he was gay.”
After much talk, we came to the conclusion that it’s not the fact that he’s gay, though I still think she’s not through processing her biggest fear, bullying, hate crimes and the fear of him being shunned by his family, especially his grandparents and an aunt.
During our conversation, she talked at great length about how much she loved her son. She talked about what an amazing man he’s grown up to be, but she fears that society still hasn’t accepted gay people.
Personally, I think it’s way more acceptable now then back when I was growing up. Like I said yesterday, why does anyone care what you do or who you do in the privacy of your own home/bedroom? Gay, straight, bi, not my business what anyone does, and I believe strongly that no matter what, across the board, displays of affection are wonderful, but the flaunting of it should be kept to behind closed doors. Again, I believe that if for anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation.
I believe my friend is struggling too with her previous indoctrination, at least I believe it’s in the back of her mind what she was taught at her local Kingdom Hall. According to the Awake magazine #4, 2016, it says this: Some would say that the Bible’s position is cruel. But their claim is based on the premise that we must act on our impulses or that sexual impulses in particular are so important that they should not—even cannot—be controlled. However, the Bible dignifies humans by stating that they can resist their urges. Unlike animals, they can choose not to act on their impulses.—Colossians 3:5.
Growing up a JW, I was taught that homosexuality was and is wrong, yet again, it’s not my place to judge. I’m not gay and I can tell you, I’ve never looked at another woman and thought about her in a sexual way. I don’t understand the attraction to other women, however, I can admire another woman and think someone has a nice figure, a beautiful face, but I have never looked at a woman, ever, the way I look at a man, in my case, the way I look at John.
I look at John and I love his body. I think he’s sexually attractive. I absolutely adore every part of him and I enjoy “being” with him.
I have girlfriends that I think are gorgeous, but I don’t want to be kissing on them or touching them all over. I like a man. So I suppose I can empathize with my friend when it comes to her feelings about her son. She doesn’t understand his attraction to another man because she’s not gay. He is, so like I said yesterday, we don’t always understand what someone sees in another person, and that’s okay. Life is full of surprises and we don’t have to understand. Not our job.
My friend has automatically gone to fearing how her son will be treated in society. She fears the road of being cast out by his family and believe me, that is a real possibility. She carries guilt, perhaps in some ways she may be thinking she made him this way or caused him to become gay. That is the farthest thing from the truth.
“Having a gay child doesn’t mean you failed as a parent. Disowning your gay child means you failed as a parent.”-unknown.
I know this is a touchy subject and I’m not here to change anyone’s views on homosexuality. I suppose my reasons behind writing about this, is no matter what, if your child comes to you and says they are gay and they’ve always known it, it’s not about you, it’s about who they are. Remember, this may have been the hardest thing they’ve ever had to come to you with and coming to you shows how much they love you, and need you.
“The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight. I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society.”-Tracy Morgan.
This exact quote is my friends biggest concern. She’s so afraid of the cruelty her son may face. She wants to protect him and she doesn’t want to see him get hurt. Getting hurt though. It’s part of life. I don’t want anyone to suffer heartbreak either, especially my own children, yet I know, I can’t always protect them. What I can do is be there to help pick up the pieces should they need me.
I’m not sure what the future holds for my friend and her son. I’m saddened to know there is a huge chance he may lose some of his family members because of who he fell in love with. At the end of the day, he’s still the same person he was yesterday, only difference is, he’s shared his secret with his mom and other members of his immediate family. All that’s left now? See who keeps him in their life and who doesn’t.
I hope his road isn’t a difficult one. I hope no matter who he chooses to spend his life with, I hope he’s happy. I hope my friend can find some peace too. Her son trusted her with something he’s been carrying around for a big portion of his life. He said he’s always known. Funny, his siblings said they always knew too. They’ve all accepted him. Right now, as he travels the road of the unknowns, he needs not only his siblings, but his parents too. This young man was raised to fear God. He was raised to believe that being gay was not acceptable to God. He needs to know that he’s still loved. He is the same person that he has always been.
My dear readers, I’m not here to tell you to you that being gay is right or wrong. I learned a long time ago, God loves us no matter who we are and I’ve learned, I can only be accountable for myself when I face my creator. He wants me to love my neighbor and treat others with love and kindness, so, that’s what I’ll continue to try and do.
I know this much, I would rather accept my child for who they are, instead of burying because I couldn’t.
No matter who you are out there, remember one thing. You are uniquely made. There is nobody in this entire world who is just like you.
I was listening to Mel Robbins today and she said this regarding being uniquely made. Did you know that the chance of you being born at the very moment you were and you being created to be born at that very moment is a chance of 1 and 400 trillion. That’s a huge number and the chances of you being you, well, the numbers show just how unique each of us is.
Embrace love and accept the things you cannot change. It’s not up to us. Rely on Him to get you through any struggles and always pray for your loved ones to be safe and happy and surrounded by love. At the end of the day, what else could be more important?
Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.
Love Life with Dawna 