No answer

Happy Tuesday,

How are you today? Sleep well? I hope so. What are you up to on this fine Tuesday morning? Work? School? Errands, or some other task? I’d love to hear from you, so drop me a comment and let me know.

Today I get to have lunch with Kevin and his amazing girlfriend. Going to celebrate their 7 year anniversary together. High school sweethearts and still going strong. Kev just completed his bachelors degree last year and Jagger will be finishing her graduate program for nursing this December. Super excited for her and I can’t wait to see where life takes them.

This morning while taking Grant to school, a song came on the radio and it took my memory right back to my dad. Luckenbach Texas, by Waylon Jennings. I’m not sure why my dad liked that song, but he did. On a visit back to Oklahoma to visit him, we were driving down to Arkansas and this song came on the radio. He asked me to turn it up and he and my friend Jen sang along to the lyrics. Seeing dad swaying to the music as we drove made me so happy. It’s a memory I’ll forever cherish.

When the song came on this morning I thought I’d call him to tell him I was thinking of him. I wanted to share all the things in my life that have been going on, then I realized, I’d get no answer. I won’t be hearing his voice anymore, unless I play back some of the messages he left on my cell phone.

They say life goes on after we lose someone we love, and it does, yet every once in awhile, something reminds us of our loved one and we can’t help but feel a stabbing of the heart.

I carry a lot of guilt about losing my dad. You see, I had called him on a Monday and spoke for only a moment. The hospice nurse he said was coming over. I asked how he was and he assured me he was okay, and that he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. I told him I’d call him in a few days once he got settled at my brothers home, but, before I could call him back, he was gone. He died two days later. I got busy and never made the call.

“I never said good-bye. I never got the chance to say I love you, I never got the chance to say I’ll miss you. Nobody told me that you were going to die. It hurts. I never said GOOD-BYE. Where are you now, please talk to me. Show yourself and let me see. I know that can’t happen no matter how much I try, all I wanted to do is say GOOD-BYE. I hope that you are happy wherever you are, I have you in my heart no matter how far, to the heaven above, I wish I could fly, only to give you a warm GOOD-BYE. I will remember each day that I live, you were such a good person with so much to give. Such a privilege to have known you, no one can deny, I think it might be time to say GOOD-BYE. I will keep with me the good times that we shared, I want you to know just how much I really cared. Till we meet again, on God we must rely, I love you, I miss you and for now, GOOD-BYE.”-Robert Pavlinsky.

One more phone call to only hear his voice. I have so many questions that I’ll never have an answer too. Only to have him answer, I’d never want to hang up. I’d hold on forever if I could. I miss him and the time I had with him was way to short. I missed most of my life with my dad and I never got the chance to say goodbye.

My dad would tell me every time we talked how proud he was of me. My dad would encourage me and tell me he could never be disappointed in me. My dad was someone I always loved, even when he wasn’t in my life.

I’m grateful he isn’t suffering anymore. I know he’s gone onto a new life wherever God saw fit for him to be. I know he’s not battling cancer or heart disease anymore.

I’d love one more phone call, but when I pick up the phone to hear his voice, there’ll be no answer at all. My daddy’s gone away.

My dad and I both love Reba McEntire and I think this song is a fitting dedication from me to dad: Seven minutes in heaven:

I wouldn’t ask Cash why he wore all black
Or have Elvis sing me a song
I wouldn’t ask why Kennedy died
‘Cause I know that I wouldn’t have long
I wouldn’t small talk with Peter ’bout those pearly gates
I’d ask him to let me on in
And I’d say there’s somebody waiting on the other side
That I’d really like to catch up with

If I had seven minutes in Heaven
I know just what I’d do
Take a walk down those golden streets
And find a quiet corner booth
I wouldn’t spend all my seconds asking God questions
‘Cause He knows I’d be back soon
If I had seven minutes in Heaven
I’d spend them all with you

How’s the fishing up there
Have you been getting our prayers
We’ve been sending them every night
The only issue here is oh, Lord, we miss you
But I swear we’re doing alright

Does the weather get colder?
Do you ever grow older?
Does it feel like the blink of an eye?
‘Cause I’m so glad to be here
And I sure hope they serve beer
‘Cause, for me, it’s been a long time

If I had seven minutes in Heaven
I know just what I’d do
Take a walk down those golden streets
And find a quiet corner booth
I wouldn’t spend all my seconds asking God questions
‘Cause He knows I’ll be back soon
If I had seven minutes in Heaven
I’d spend them all with you

When it’s last call, I’ll hug you
And I’ll tell you, “I love you”
But I won’t say goodbye
Right now, I got to leave
But the next round’s on me
And I know it won’t be the last time

If I had seven minutes in Heaven
Then I know just what we’ll do
Oh, we’ll take a walk down those golden streets
And find that same old corner booth
But I might take a few seconds to ask God some questions
I didn’t last time I was through
If I had seven minutes in Heaven
I’d spend them all with you

If I had seven minutes in Heaven
I’d spend them all with you.

If I had seven minutes in heaven, I would absolutely spend them with dad. One day I’ll see him again. Until then, my heart is missing a little piece of him.

I miss you daddy. One more phone call, but there’ll be no answer from you. Until we meet again, take care. I love you.

Who are you missing today? I hope whoever it is, you’ll find comfort knowing they are in a better place.

Do you see a butterfly at just the right time? Do you see a dragon fly lighting up the night sky? Perhaps the wind brings you that special scent that they always wore? Whatever it is that brings you back to them, maybe, just maybe, it’s them stopping by to say hi and to let us know, they’re okay.

Well guys, I hope you have a wonderful day. I know I will, even though I’m missing my dad. Prayers and hugs for all of you who’ve lost someone special in your life, and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.