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Happy Monday evening,

How is everyone doing on this beautiful Monday evening? I hope you all enjoyed this amazing Mother’s Day weekend. What did you do to celebrate the moms in your life? How were you celebrated? Shoot me a text, or drop me a comment, I would love to hear from you.

Mother’s Day for me was absolutely the most amazing one I’ve ever enjoyed. This is the first year my oldest celebrated Mother’s Day with me. I think it’s safe to say, he’s officially out of the cult in which I raised him in. I am beyond thankful for my answered prayers.

Anyway, Saturday, I got to enjoy lunch with just my two sons. We went for pizza and salad. It was simple, and nice. So casual, just like us. We talked and just being with them was wonderful. Yesterday, Mother’s Day was amazing too. I got to celebrate John’s birthday with him and his sisters and their husbands, along with a niece. Sadly, his mom and dad couldn’t make it. They both caught a bug on their road trip. Glad they were able to be home to rest. Hope they’re feeling better real soon.

Later in the evening, my oldest invited both John and I out to celebrate John’s birthday and Mother’s Day. So just Tommy, Kaitlyn, John and I went to Coronado Island for some yummy Mexican food and margaritas. John said he really feels he’s bonded with my oldest kiddo. Made my heart extra happy.

Tonight, since I’m in San Diego, I’ll be able to watch the boys in their basketball tournament. Brings back so many memories being able to watch them hoop together. Excited to see them play.

Life is moving forward and the journey is amazing. Things are falling into place and my heart is feeling settled. I am so grateful to have these moments of calm in my life. It feels good to have some tranquility.

I was listening to a book written by Lysa Terkeurst, “It’s not supposed to be this way.” She was talking about some experiences she endured in the course of one year. As she talked us through some of her journey, she was expressing how she wasn’t sure at the time how she’d get through it all. She talked about how she’d cry out to God, “when is it enough. How much more can one person endure?”

She never lost her faith, but she doubted her worth. Then, when she least expected it, she would see God’s plan for her in action. She would get a glimpse into how beautiful her life was going to be. I couldn’t help but appreciate her being so open and candid about her life and faith. Her talking about the difficult times, I saw myself in her journey, in her story, and I had to give thanks to God for how far I’ve come.

Still Moments wrote this: “Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”

This aligns with our faith and belief system, in my opinion anyway. Sometimes when I’m on my self pity wagon, I try to stop myself from traveling down dark passage ways and remind myself of just how far I’ve come from the traumas in my life, from the storms I was sure would drown me, from the feelings of not wanting to exist anymore. I’ve had to stop and remember how far I’ve come and when I look ahead, I dream about how far I’ll go. Nothing in this life is certain, other than the fact, we’ll all die one day. The only mystery to dying is when.

This past weekend, a dear friend of mine lost her oldest daughter to cancer, she was 40 years young and she had no clue she even had cancer. She didn’t feel good on a Friday. Called her PC. Went for blood work the next day and on Monday, while at work, received a call from her doctor telling her to go straight to ER. She went into the hospital on April 30 and passed on May 11. In less than two weeks from not feeling well, cancer took her from her family and friends.

I’m grateful she didn’t have to suffer long, and I’m angry because my friend lost her daughter. It’s a sad day when a mother has to bury her child, no matter how old that child is.

When tragedy strikes either myself or a loved one, like it did this weekend for my friend, I try not to ask God why, instead, I try and ask him to calm my thoughts and I beg of him to remind me of just how far I’ve come with his help. I beg him to give calmness to those suffering and I begged him to wrap his arms around my friend and her family and hold them tight as they head down this path to the unknowns of life with out their beloved daughter, sister and friend. I pray God embraces them and shows them that their loved one is in his presence.

My life hasn’t always been easy, especially when I was a child. Being abused, those memories fade, but they never go away completely. When trauma manifests itself again in our lives, in my life, it triggers those feelings of inadequacy and not feeling good enough. Sometimes when triggered, it’s extremely difficult to not fall down the rabbit hole. It takes strength and determination to not allow myself to dwell on the negative. I have to remind myself of just how far I’ve come rather than basking in the self doubt.

I have the battle scars to prove I’ve risen above my many days in combat, fighting away my abusers and while I still find myself fearing what’s ahead, I do find comfort in knowing, I’ve faced so many battles, I’ve stood in front of mirrors, hating myself and seeing someone I felt wasn’t worthy of grace. Then, when I get off the pity party truck, I’ve been able to take a step back and embrace the many wonders in my life. I have an amazing home, an incredible man, a wonderful family and I have a girl tribe who I can talk to about anything and while sometimes I don’t like the hard truth they hit me with, I accept what they have to offer me and most of the time, they’re dead on in helping me see where I need to make corrections in my attitude.

Look! Look around and take note of just how far you’ve come in this life. Look at how many battles you’ve faced and see how far you’ve come from those horrible situations. Look at the amazing person you are today, in part, because of those battles.

When we reflect on the battles we’ve endured, are we able to see just how far we’ve come? How much we’ve grown? Do we see how we’ve conquered our fears? How many battles have we won, and how many battles did we let go of for peace of mind?

“The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go.”-Shannon L. Alder.

I, 99% agree with this. The only exception to never letting go is when it comes to our kiddos. They deserve to always have us in their corner, even when they mess up. Loving them unconditionally, even when they must suffer consequences for their actions, that’s when I believe, we don’t let go. My thoughts, my opinion.

My dear readers, when in doubt about who you are, take a moment and see your potential for growth. See how amazing you are. You are one of a kind and as unique as those beautiful finger prints that belong only to you.

We’re in this life together and we all need encouragement and support. I hope you find a little of that when you read my story here in love life with Dawna. I’m always here to read your comments and cheer you on. Just reach out.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and until next time, please don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs.