Hello everyone and happy Monday,
How are you all doing on the beautiful Monday afternoon? I do hope this blog finds you well, safe and enjoying your day. Thank you for taking the time to read today’s message and please don’t forget to hit the like button and better yet, leave me a comment. I’d love to get your feed back and I’d love for you to share with me topics that you might find interesting and you want to see me write about it.
Today I wanted to talk about Robert Garrison Brown, better known to the public as Garrison Brown. Garrison was Janelle and Kody Browns son. They are from the reality TV show, Sister Wives.
Let me start off by saying, I haven’t watched much of this show, however, it’s been on the air since September 26, 2010. The show finished it’s 18th season with the thought there will be a 19th season, and I have seen more than a few episodes.
So much happened during seasons 17 and 18, particularly in season 18 with wives leaving Kody, the husband of 4 wives. The Brown family over that last few years have gone through major life shifts.
The show centers around their (the Brown) lives and the life of polygamy. While I don’t agree with this lifestyle, it’s not for me to judge, however, watching the final season, I can say, it doesn’t seem to be a healthy way to live.
Last week Garrison Brown took his own life. He was 25 years young and had so much more life to live. I’ve watched videos on the life of Garrison and I will say, his smile looked like it could light up any room. His laughter was real and genuine. When he was around family, he glowed with the love he had for those he loved and you could see and hear the pain in his voice when he talked about being estranged from his dad.
It’s such a sad time in life when a young man hurts so badly because of the relationship he doesn’t have with someone he obviously loves dearly.
Now, I’m not here to blame anyone for Garrison taking his own life. It’s nobody’s fault and Garrison was obviously struggling with emotions, feelings and parts of life he could not handle on his own. Again, I do not know Garrison, nor anyone from his family. I do however, watch YouTube videos from time to time and I have seen the show and it saddens me to hear of his passing and the way in which he died.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been in that dark place and somehow, we have found the way to keep going. Garrison couldn’t for whatever reason, and that reason we’ll never truly know.
I’ve seen the hate speech towards certain members of the Brown family, people casting blame and I’ve seen the outpour of love and support being sent to the Brown family. I can’t even imagine what this family is dealing with. I can’t imagine the heartbreak Janelle and Kody must feel right now, they were, after all, his mother and father.
While Garrison had three other “moms”, because of being raised in polygamy, Janelle was his mother. I’m not here to discount the other three moms, especially Christine who loved Garrison like her own. Christine and Meri were there from the moment Garrison entered this world and they knew him, loved him and supported him through his life. I’m sure they are feeling the sting and heartbreak too, in their own motherly way.
“Suicide is the most private and mysterious of acts, inexplicable because the chief actor is never there to explain it.”-P.D. James
When someone struggles to the point of taking their own life, it leaves behind questions, hurt, pain, and suffering. It leaves those who are deeply connected to that person with questions of what could I have done to help, what did I miss, how could I have helped, or, sadly, “I should have done…..”
It’s not your fault your loved one took their life. When someone reaches that point in life, they’ve hit the darkest moments possible I think. I’m not a doctor or medical professional in anyway. I have been in therapy and will be going back into therapy next month. I wish I could get in sooner, however, there seems to be a huge wait for getting back into mental health.
The void Garrison left behind is something I personally feel he didn’t understand, because based upon what I saw on the show, he would never want to hurt his family and loved ones, but his struggle, his struggle seemed to take over his mind and body, thus, ending his life.
Mental health is such a hard thing to navigate. It’s hard to be vulnerable and ask for help and sometimes, from my own personal experience, it’s hard to even realize sometimes that mental health help is needed. The need to seek professional health still seems to be taboo, when in reality, it’s a sign of strength. I hope none of us judge someone or the family of someone who chose to end their life. The pain has already reached the depths of their being.
“If the meaning of your life is lost, ask for help finding it.”-unknown. I feel like this is the core of the pain. When we reach the point we find no meaning in existing anymore, we’ve lost the meaning of what our life means, not only to ourself, but to those around us. When we sink into the darkness of not wanting to wake up anymore, we’ve become so lost in our thoughts, we struggle in seeing any value of why we are here. The love others show us is no longer enough, because we’ve grown into darkness and become so lost or consumed in that darkness, we only see that others would be better off without us. My opinion, again, I’m not a doctor or medical professional in any way.
If you find yourself falling into this darkness, please seek emergency medical attention right away. If you’re reading this and struggling, please, immediately call,988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Your life matters and believe me when I say, it hurts my heart to know someone has taken their life. It saddens me to know people are struggling. I’ve struggled and I’m grateful for the medical teams that were there to help me. I’m grateful for the therapy I’ve received and for the therapy I will receive again. The therapy I’ll be getting this time will hopefully help my thoughts from racing. I’ve suffered a lot of trauma in my life and sometimes things trigger me and it’s nice to have a therapist that I can turn to who can help me sort out my thinking.
“To anyone out there who’s hurting-it’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s a sign of Strength.”-Barack Obama.
My dear readers, remember when you hurt so much you couldn’t see a better day ahead? Take a moment to reflect on that and I hope, before we judge anyone whose taken their life or who is in a dark place, we reflect on our moment of despair and perhaps, we can soften our heart and become more compassionate towards those suffering, even towards those we don’t even know.
Dying is our final stop here in this life. Some believe we move onto another dimension, another life or maybe we just cease to exist. Whatever your belief thought process is, dying is permanent in this life. It’s a finality to the life we know. It’s a finality to our life that others see or are apart of.
Suicide ends a life, your life or the life of someone we love and care about deeply. Perhaps, the person sees that as the only way out, yet, every day we are alive, we are given a new chance to start over. Every day, we are given a chance at a new thought process. I beg of you, if you’re reading this and even slightly considering taking your own life, please seek immediate medical attention. Call 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
My dear readers, you are so uniquely made. You are wonderfully created and your life matters. It might not seem like it today, but I hope and pray that you will soon see, just how important you are in this life. You are loved. You are valued and you are amazing.
I hope you all have a wonderful week. Reach out to that loved one you haven’t talked to in awhile. Reach out to the person who you haven’t spoken to in a bit, maybe, just maybe, hearing your voice will be the one thing they needed today.
Until next time, please don’t forget, tell that someone you love them and remember to Love Life++ hugs….
Love Life with Dawna 