Making love

Happy Monday,

How is everyone doing on this amazing Monday evening? All is well here, just waiting for the rain to start, again. Even though it’s gloomy out, it sure is relaxing. I even have a fire going. Nothing beats a fire on a rainy day, unless, you get to cuddle with that someone special in front of the fire on a rainy day.

No cuddling here for John and I, he had to work and as I write this blog, he’s on a meeting for a couple more hours. I will say though, there’s a special calm in the air just having him in his office here at the lake. He’s always so relaxed when he gets time to work in his office at our lake home.

Today I woke up all geared up to write, then, I hit a road block. Couldn’t for the life of me decide what to write about, so I did some picking up in the kitchen, made John and I smoothies and thought I felt ready to write. Nope, still a blank space in my head. Went to the store instead and picked up some groceries for our lettuce wraps tonight. Once home, I made sure to preoccupy myself with anything other than writing. John even came and sat with me for a moment asking how the blog was going. Had to be honest and tell him I was too busy reading. He laughed and said, “I printed out the schedule you asked me for, have you been using it?” Sure I have, I’ve just been spending more time reading instead of writing.

I then got this bright idea. I asked John to give me the first word that came to his mind when he thought of a positive affirmation. He said love, hence, I’ll be chatting with you all about love today. Since I can’t come up with my own thought, I figure if John gave me a word, then I could see how my fingers flow across the keys on my laptop and where the word love will take us, so here goes.

Love really is a beautiful word. “I love you. I love the view. I love this book. I love my home.” Love embraces the definition of so many wonderful things in our lives. Sometimes though, I think we use the word love to passively or too casually. More on that thought in a later blog.

Thinking about love and it’s meaning has me walking down memory lane and it has me reflecting on the love that surrounds me in my life. I thank God everyday for bringing John into my life. He answered my prayer when he knew I was ready to receive it. I spent many years begging God to allow me to feel loved by someone. I wanted to know what it was like to be loved by someone who would love me for me. Not for anything I did, but only for me being me. When you spend a lifetime telling someone you love them to only receive back two words that seem so cold and lifeless, when the right person comes along and tells you they love you, all of you, flaws and all, it’s magical.

When you truly love someone and you tell them how much you love them, a piece of your heart is leaving you and you hope in time, they will love you back. You hope they will in some way, accept your love. The pain that comes from giving your love unconditionally and having it rejected, is so hard. If I would have been wiser, I would have walked away, instead I allowed being told “thank you” to my, “I love you” to be something I accepted.

Love comes in many forms and when you tell someone you love them, it usually is because you have a deep and emotional affection towards them. Being in love takes that affection to an entirely new and incredible level. Being in love refers to having a romantic feeling towards another person. Being in love brings out the ability in a person to not only develop, but show strong compassion for them. You have this passion within to stay and be totally connected to the person. You feel emotionally and physically drawn to them, in turn, if the feeling is mutual, you want to share certain forms of intimacy with that person. If you are in love with one another, your intimate connection and desire to be with this person is explosive, especially at the beginning when you are exploring everything about them. Maybe this is where the term, making love came about.

When you find your way to your person, the one who is meant to be your forever, the connection you share, the love you make and the desire to know everything about them is truly a gift from the Universe. When to people have sex, it’s usually pleasurable and nice, but when you make love to someone who feels the same about you, you are not only sharing your bodies, but you are sharing connection that goes beyond the act of intercourse. You become so connected that you become emotional, psychological and socially connected.

When making love, both partners are able to fully embrace being themselves, genuine and raw. A mutual love and understanding allows both partners to completely relax and make love without feeling any pressure or restraint regarding their sexual needs or wants.

When making love and having your partner look into your eyes and feeling the connection of truly being loved is something everyone deserves to experience. Having someone look into your eyes so deep that they can touch your soul and take away any and all pain you’ve ever experienced is truly a gift from our creator. God truly is the third cord in a loving and healthy relationship. He’s blessing two people who have found that deep connection with each other and he is there to help that connection grow and evolve into the deepest and most powerful connection two people could ever have.

So what is the difference between making love and simply having sex? Is there a difference?

According to embrywomenshealth.com, when two individuals make love, their vulnerability levels are pretty high. This is often a result of sharing emotions and words that they may not have done before. Both persons tend to let their guard down and risk and reward come into play. During love making, one experiences unique closeness with their partner and they find it difficult to imagine other moments happening without them.

In the same article it talks about just having sex. When you have sex with someone, although the vulnerability still plays a role, it is of a different kind. One example is being afraid of the intercourse not being good or perhaps wondering if your sexual needs will be met or received well.

When you make love, although at first you may have the fear of will I be good enough or will I be able to meet their needs or will my needs be met may cross your mind, but as you begin to make love, those fears and inhibitions are gone, almost instantly, because you are making love with someone you are deeply connected to.

When you make love you want to be with that person, not only between the sheets, but in so many other areas of life. I know for the first time, I’m building a life with someone, rather than building a life for someone. I have a connection with John to the point that when we are a part, it never fails if I’m having a bad day or I’m missing him, within moments, he’s calling me or texting me. We are so connected we almost feel each others feelings. Sometimes he feels something I haven’t even recognized in myself yet.

John and I have such a deep connection, so much so, I truly feel he brought me back from my potential journey to the other side. I’ll share with you something that happened a couple years back.

My heart wasn’t doing so well. The doctors had adjusted my medicine and my body was in dire need to have my blood pressure come down. On this one particular day, I wasn’t feeling well at all. I could feel my heart literally beating out of my chest. I was exhausted. John gave me my medicine and for some reason, my blood pressure plummeted. I laid on the bed and I felt myself dozing off. I fell into a deep sleep like I had never done before. I could hear John, but I couldn’t open my eyes and I couldn’t respond. There were times when I felt as though I was outside of my body and like the wind, I was flowing away like the leaves in the breeze. When I felt myself fully leaving, John would place his hand over my heart in the most gentle way, almost like he knew I was leaving this world. He says those were the times he knew I was struggling to breath and live, yet at the same time, I was letting go to ascend to another life.

It was truly the connection and love we share that kept me alive. People ask why he didn’t call 911. The answer is simple. The doctors at the hospital told us, told me, not to come back. They were stern in saying that I needed a cardiologist because they couldn’t do anymore for me. This wasn’t the first time that happened. It happened one other time when my niece took me to ER. The doctor said I needed a cardiologist outside the hospital setting, so I told John, begged John, not to, under any circumstance, to call 911. If it were to be my time, then so be it and I’m happy it wasn’t my time then to leave this world.

John kept me alive and fighting when my body was to the point it wanted to give up. Though we weren’t making love in a sexual way, we were making love in a sense that our love was moving mountains to keep me alive and to keep us together. John stayed awake for nearly 48 hours, making sure I was okay. Rest assured, he did make me follow up the next day with my cardiologist who immediately changed up my meds and thankfully, this hasn’t happened again.

When you love someone, you care about that person. When you’re in love with someone, you are so close, to the point where you forget where you end and your partner begins? “I’m in love with you and your entire being. Your hands and the way they hold mine. Your eyes and the way they smile at mine. Your lips and the way they fit with mine. Everything about you. And it’s all mine.”-k.v. quotes ‘nd Notes.

Making love is not just physical, it’s sitting by the side of the bed when your partner is so sick you want to make sure if they start vomiting again, they won’t choke because they are so sick and their fever is so high, you fear they won’t wake up if they begin to vomit. You sit by the bed to make sure you don’t fall asleep. You sleep sitting up by the side of the bed to make sure they wake up. My son did this for his girlfriend. She was so sick and he feared she wouldn’t be able to wake up and he feared if she did begin to vomit, she’d choke. he stayed up all night to make sure she was breathing and her fever didn’t spike to dangerous levels. That’s love and making love in an entirely different way then simply physical.

Making love with the person you know to be your person, your soul mate and you pray they feel the same about you, it’s truly magical.

God answered my prayer. He showed me what it’s like to be loved for just being me. If this love last forever, I will be truly blessed. If it lasts only for a moment, I will still feel very blessed knowing what it felt like to be loved for a time.

We all deserve to be loved. I hope each and everyone of you has found or will find that true love. Keep God in your prayers and until next time, Love Life++ hugs