Happy Friday,
How is everyone doing on this amazing Friday afternoon? All is well here, but holy heck, it’s cold outside. Is everyone staying safe and dry? This is absolutely the kind of weather where I like to stay in, snuggled up on the couch with my little Molly, writing and enjoying my nice warm fireplace. How about you all? What do you do on these crazy cold winter days, besides work?
Hey, we are just hours away from the weekend! Are you excited? I am. I get time with John, so I am super excited. What are your plans for the weekend. It’s supposed to be dry out. Shoot me a text or drop me a comment, I’d love to hear from you.
It’s been so busy lately, but I am so beyond excited to be writing again on a regular basis. Shout out to everyone who continue to support me by reading this blog. It tickles my heart to see how many are reading and I absolutely love getting those likes and comments, so please keep them coming.
I finally got into the dentist this week. I broke a tooth a month or so ago and it’s finally to the point where I get a shiver when something cold or hot hits it just in the right spot. My new dentist is amazing and her office is so calming. Funny to say a dentist office is calming, but hers truly is, which, I’m so beyond happy about. My last dentist was good, but his office was cold and the atmosphere was sterile. It gave me anxiety and panic attacks, so I’m happy that I found my new dentist.
I decided to write about smiling. You see, after my appointment Wednesday, I walked out of her office excited to go back. I’m excited for my next few appointments. On a good note, I have zero cavities, but I do have the broken tooth that she’s going to fix, but I was able to talk to her about my smile, or the lack there of a smile. I explained to her that I was in a terrible accident while roller skating when I was about 9 or 10. In that accident I broke my jaw and knocked out my front teeth. My teeth have never been pretty again after that accident and as you all know, I have self-esteem issues. I know it might seem vain, but when a person laughs, you see their teeth. When a person smiles, yup, you got, teeth. I don’t smile or laugh often, because I feel so insecure about the way my mouth looks.
I’ve had braces twice, but still, my smile is not something I like to see, but now, I have a dentist who understood where I was coming from and guess what??? She’s going to fix my smile. I’m beyond excited. Hoping to avoid jaw breaking surgery where they break my jaw and wire my mouth shut, but, if that’s what it takes, then I’ll do it. The dentist plan for me though, is to do everything she can to avoid that and in turn, the fixing of my teeth and mouth will take 4-6 weeks. That will surely bring about challenges, but, if I can have my mouth be something I’m comfortable with, yeah, it will be worth it.
I want to say before I continue, I’m beyond blessed to have John in my life. I know I mention this quite often, but as I write this post, I think he deserves to be mentioned. There’s not a day that goes by he doesn’t call me beautiful. Not a day goes by when he doesn’t tell me how much he loves me and I know, in his eyes, those words he speaks to me are true. He sees past my imperfections and treats me like his everything and I’m beyond grateful. I used to pray to God every day to let me know what it’s like to be loved, truly loved and he gave me John. My prayer was answered in abundance and I am humbled by the fact God not only heard my prayer, but waited until the time was right to bring John into my life.
“Women get more beautiful as they grow older. Not less. Female youth is only prized in modern culture because it doesn’t represent as much of a threat spiritually to anyone who is frightened of divine feminine power. As women grow and mature, they call in stronger forces of scared feminine wisdom. They vibrate with the creative power of their stories. They are more of a force to be reckoned with. They see more, know more, feel more. They put up with a lot less bullshit. When women are trained into thinking there is something fundamentally wrong with getting older, and are coerced into spending money, energy and power investing in ‘slowing the signs of ageing’, an enormous vault of diving love is lost. Just think what would happen if all the women in the world started loving themselves even more with every year that passed. Perhaps a total revolution would occur.”-Sophie Bashford.
I know this may seem like an odd quote to put in, especially after I said I was going to get my teeth done, or maybe not. I guess it would depend on the motive, or reason I’m moving forward on getting my mouth fixed.
I’m not trying to run away from aging. In fact, I’m okay with it. I get to be a step in grandma to a beautiful little girl whose only grandma left in this world lives a miles away in Brazil. I’m excited and though she doesn’t share my blood line, she’s forever going to be my grandbaby. I’ll love her the same as those that may or may not come from my own children.
Aging is a gift and I am thankful every day for waking up and having loved ones in my life. I’m grateful that I get another chance to be the best version of who God intended me to be. I hope for how ever many days I have left, I can be in God’s grace and be shown forgiveness for my sins and I pray he continues to guide my every step.
I smile in silence. I smile when nobody can see me, because every day I’m reminded of the accident that took my smile away. This might sound vain, and who knows, maybe it is, but it is the way I feel. Self-esteem is something many of us lack and one thing that’s hard to face is the lack of it that we have. We need to build ourselves up. We are worth feeling good about ourselves.
I was in a long relationship with someone who from early on told me I had an ugly mouth. He said I should consider braces. He said maybe I’d be a better kisser if I had a better looking mouth. I never realized how that affected me over the years. I never realized the power I gave those words he spoke too me until now. I look back at those words and think what a jerk he was for saying such a hateful thing to me, but I look at myself and think, I played a part in that, because I allowed it to affect me for most of my adult life. I lacked self-esteem and I did nothing at the time to correct it.
If I could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self that I was enough. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I would also tell my younger self to embrace my imperfections, because I am uniquely made, we all are. We are as unique as our fingerprint, one of a kind.
I know getting my mouth fixed isn’t the solution to me becoming more self confident, most of that confidence lies within, however, for me, it’s something I have to do. It’s something I need to do for myself. I am working on my other self confidence issues too. I’ve learned, motivation isn’t going to just show up one day, I have to go out and find it. I am my own motivating factor, therefore, everything I need and want to change about myself, it all begins with me and my self care.
Well guys, I must be saying good-bye for today. I’m meeting two of my besties for lunch and these two ladies always build me up. Funny, I never had friendships like this before, so I’m so grateful to have them now. I get to spend time with friends who are positive and upbuilding, who find ways to compliment, rather than criticize. They are real and they don’t just speak words to blow smoke up your boot, they are genuine and I love being around people who help me shed the negative speech I was so accustomed too.
Hope your Friday is as beautiful and wonderful as you are my dear readers. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++ Hugs….
Love Life with Dawna 