Clutter

Happy Saturday evening everyone:

How are you all doing on this marvelous Saturday? What a beautiful day it was her in my little town. What did you all do today? It sure did feel like a day to just enjoy being at home and for the most part, that’s what I did. I love hearing from you all, so shoot me a text, a message or drop a comment here, it makes my day to see that you stopped by for a visit and a read. Oh, and if you can, drop me a like. I love checking back on my blogs and seeing that they have been liked, and if you must drop, me a thumbs down, but if it’s a thumbs down I get, please let me know why, so I can work on improving in that particular area. I would certainly appreciate it.

Today I was up by 7, and then, I was so thankful to get a text from my friend, reminding me that I had a club meeting to attend. Ugh, if I don’t write it down, I’m one hot mess, because more than likely, I’ll forget. Speaking of forgetting, I’m coming to realize that much of my forgetting on the smaller things like meetings and such are because I have to much clutter in my mind, which brings me to today’s topic, clutter.

First, let’s define clutter. According to Merriam-Webster, it means to fill or cover with scattered or disordered things that impede movement or reduce effectiveness, but what about mental clutter? Well, according to a LinkedIn article, it refers to excessive or overwhelming thoughts, worries, or concerns that can fill our minds and make it difficult to focus, make decisions, or feel at peace.

Did you know one of the causes of clutter, according to the New York Times is, not only emotional trauma but a brain injury? In the Jan. 11, 2002 article entitled, “A Clutter Too Deep for Mere Bins and Shelves,” the NYT says, people who have suffered emotional trauma or brain injury often find housecleaning an insurmountable task. ADD, depression, chronic pain and grief can also prevent people from getting organized or those same diagnoses can cause you to allow things and thoughts to a build up of clutter.”

Its funny, I’ve been struggling so much over the last few months with not being able to get things done. I think as I get a little older that plays into my struggles, but I feel so much pressure to have things clean and organized, yet I can’t seem to accomplish much.

I was reading something earlier today and it made me think. It described me pretty accurately. It was a self reflection article, with no given author, and it asked questions such as, “are your actions or thoughts affecting the people around you? It’s hard to forgive yourself when you are so invested in perfection. Why do you judge yourself so harshly? Observe both inside and outside of yourself. Then it went onto say, you are meant to embrace your incredible integrity and precision about the work you do, however, if you find yourself obsessing over every detail to a point nothing looks good, then this is the sign that you are off track. It’s time to let go of the obsessive behavior.

After reading this, I couldn’t help but reflect on conversations I’ve had with John. I’ve been telling him that certain things trigger me. Then I’ve expressed how frustrated I am with myself for not being able to get things done and have things just so. I’m doing better as far as not being an extreme neat freak, but I find it extremely difficult to cut myself any slack to just relax. Even when I’m in pain, I can’t find the comfort in sitting down. My hands must always be busy. If we watch a movie, then I need to be sewing or working on an art project.

Something is preventing me from being totally immersed in the moment and I want to find out what it is.

I’m frustrated with myself and its a vicious cycle. This is part of the reason I need to jump back into therapy. I need help in releasing this bestowed upon me idea from early childhood that I need to be perfect and I’m not allowed to take breaks until everything is done.

Not only am I looking around my home and seeing unnecessary clutter, but my mind is overwhelmed with clutter. I can see the vision I have for my life, but I can’t reach my goals because of clutter. One goal that I want to accomplish is my Podcast. You see, I feel a pull towards opening up about being born into a cult, leaving it and truly finding and cultivating a relationship with God. Clutter of the mind allows zero room to be able to accomplish what His will is for me. One thing is for sure, I don’t want to add spiritual clutter to the clutter in my mind.

“Spiritual clutter includes the thoughts and worries that waste our time and energy. We have thousands of thoughts a day and many of them are the same mental clutter that we’ve had for days, months or years. Take time to recognize the beliefs you have about yourself that are holding you back.”-Clean out your physical and spiritual clutter-Daily Press, 2-13-2014.

My thinking is, if I can declutter my mind, God can make a way, He can guide me, especially when there seems to be no way. God has a plan, I believe for all of us. We have free will, yet, we can still choose to express to Him our desire to have him direct us towards the path he knows is best for us. God works in ways we don’t always see or understand. I suppose that’s where our faith truly comes into play.

I’ve been binge watching a show, Hoarders and the one thing I notice with most, if not all of those afflicted with this compulsive behavior, this illness, is, there’s something in their brains that prevents them from over buying or from getting more stuff. Half the time, they don’t even know what they have because of all the clutter.

I don’t want to be so consumed with physical, mind or spiritual clutter, especially to the point I miss out on the important things in life. You see, what matters in life are the memories, we not only make with those we love, but the memories we leave behind when our time comes to leave this world. What memories do you think you’ll leave behind?

Clutter comes in many different versions, for me, clutter clouds my mind, and because of that, I have found myself getting off track in being able to get things done, especially the things I truly enjoy.

My recipe for success moving forward? Learn how to declutter my mind. Declutter my home and only keep the things that have meaning to me or my family. I need to continue to pray and with God and John by my side, and the support of my family and friends, I will continue to write and fulfil two of my dreams. I want to be a published author and I want to help others through my writing and Podcast.

Well, that’s all I have for tonight. I do hope you are having a blessed year and that you are happy and creating memories with your loved ones, family and friends.

Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++