My Friend

Happy Saturday everyone,

How are you all doing on this fabulous afternoon? Did you get some rain this morning? We did here and it was so beautiful this morning, crisp and cool outside when I did my morning walk. Gosh, it felt almost like fall, well that is until the humidity decided to kick into high 85% gear. It’s finally dropped down to 71% humidity, but, I would surely be grateful if it, the humidity decided to completely head out of town, for good.

It sure has been a busy week and next week isn’t looking like it will ease up at all. I have a couple of days of PT, I have a couple jewelry projects to complete and on a good note, I have my niece coming to town with her new hubby to visit for a few days. It’s been way too long of a moment since I’ve seen her, so I’m excited to have her and her husband to my home for the week. Oh, and I’m even more excited to have both my kiddos and their gals come over on Monday for a bbque. I know this will be a wonderful visit.

Oh, did I mention I have a small roof leak? Ugh, that’s one more thing to throw into my week. Having someone come out and check the roof and the water stain on my ceiling.

I was thinking today about friendships and how they sometimes hit roadblocks, hiccups or even take different routes on totally opposite paths. I’ve been reflecting on my friendships a lot. I’ve been giving thought to the types of friends I’ve made, those that have come into my life and left for whatever reason and I’ve reflected on those friends that sometimes you wonder if you’ve hurt them by something you’ve said or done, or maybe by something you didn’t do that they thought you should do for your own good. I suppose I am wondering things like this because at times, for whatever reason, I feel a bit of a distance with certain ones. Then, I reminded myself, my friend may have something on their plate at the moment and they just need to handle business, after all, life does happen to all of us. We all grow silent from time to time and it means nothing, at least nothing regarding our friendships, it’s the hecticness of living and getting by that is in our way, that’s causing the distance, or lack of conversation. I’m learning, we can’t always take everything personal, because it’s the furthest thing from our person’s mind.

I must remind myself, I can never assume. I also tell myself, If I feel there truly is an issue, either let it go and move on or if I feel something is wrong within a friendship then I need to ask, because 9 out of 10 times, my loved one, or my friend is navigating through life. We must remind ourselves, we all face different things at different times and it’s rarely something personal. I know my friends value our friendship as much as I do, so I put my mind at ease knowing if something was bothering them, they are either working through it, letting it go or if it was something of substance, they’d tell me, and most likely, it isn’t even about me.

I know my friends in life have all been wonderful people, despite the ones that have shunned me for changing my belief system. Regardless of their choice to disengage from me, I still reflect on the good times we’ve had. This contemplation of friendships in general and my own personal friendships has led me down another path to what a friend and I talked about a few weeks ago. She mentioned to me that she’s basically at a point in her life where she doesn’t need the drama of certain people that had been in her life, some that she’s known for all, if not most of her life. She’s at the point where she is totally happy with who she’s become and she doesn’t want people in her life that make her feel used or like she isn’t valued in their lives in the way she’s valued them in hers. Now, this is my perception of what we’ve talked about and I will say, I truly admire her. This friend who I won’t name this time is a friend that would give the shirt off her back to anyone of her friends that needed it, she’d even give it to a total stranger. She’s a giving person and maybe that’s her love language, she gives and it’s always from the heart.

Lately I’ve seen some positive changes in her and at first I thought I was seeing some negative ones too, well, maybe not negative, but more of both hands up, like a stop sign. At times I’ve wondered if I was doing something to hurt her feelings or what was going on at that moment. I think she’s really been on my mind lately, because I know she has some big stuff coming her way this week, thus, this blog and the reason perhaps behind my thoughts about friends. Honestly, this friend is more like a sister to me. She’s always there, always has been and I know no matter what, always will be. I never want to take her for granted. I care about her feelings. I try to display kindness towards all those in my life and I know I fail from time to time and I’m sorry.

I’ve come to a conclusion about friendships like hers and mine. I believe with my friend she’s been hurt by others. She’s been taken advantage of and she’s been used, so, I think sometimes she’s triggered by things I say or do and rightfully so. Thought it’s unintentional on my part, I know not only myself, but all of us say things to trigger something negative in people now and again. It’s human nature and I believe it’s something, if we are aware of it, then we work to change it.

Have you ever had a friend that sometimes you wonder why their mood or reactions have changed about anything and nothing in particular? I’m absolutely not saying this is a bad thing, we all do it, the only difference is, we notice it in others and not necessarily in ourselves. This was my a-ha! moment. As simple as it sounds, we always tend to notice something in others, we rarely, if at all notice the same thing about ourselves.

Thinking about my wonderful and amazing friend, I took a moment before writing this blog and looked in the mirror and said to myself these words, “hey you, do you ever get defensive, shut down or shut others out because of something they said, did or didn’t do? Ummm, yeah, I have.” It took putting myself into someone else’s shoes to see that we all trigger others and we are all triggered by others and heck, maybe we don’t even realize it.

Cut others some slack folks, because at the end of the day, we aren’t walking in their shoes, we don’t know what their days or nights are truly like. I think this is why judgment is usually not a good thing, unless of course it’s in a court room or other setting such as that and even then, certainty is left to only the facts we are given.

“Friendship, a strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation and doesn’t always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.” This has been my friendship with the one I’m talking about today. We’ve gone long and extensive times without taking or seeing each other for whatever reason, but, she’s always been there, thus, she’s a true friend and one who is passionate about protecting those she loves. I feel honored to call her friend and sister.

As I grow older I think I want to be more like her. Her friends are many, but her circle is small. She treats others with love and would do anything for anyone in need, but she’s grown in her self-worth to. She won’t be walked on anymore, by anyone. You won’t take advantage of her twice and may the Universe show mercy on your soul if you take advantage of her once. She’ll forgive, but she won’t forget, especially if it was intentional. She won’t set herself up so easily to be hurt again and again by anyone.

I think she’s found the formula to protecting herself while setting an example of how we should value and cherish our friendships.

I still believe some people come into our lives for a reason, others for a season while others for a lifetime and those that are here for the happily ever after, those are the ones we need to hold close and those are the ones we need to nourish and protect.

F-I will fight for you

R-I will always respect you, even if I don’t agree with you

I-I will inspire you to follow your dreams, your heart and your passion

E-I will encourage you. I will walk beside you in life, I will walk behind you when you need space and I will walk in front of you if you are in darkness and help you to light

D-I will defend you, and I will defend our friendship

S-I will stand beside you in the best of times, the darkest of times and during the most difficult times.

I have that one friend, I actually have a couple of those friends. Each one I treasure for who they are and for how they make me a better person. While I didn’t mention you by name, I hope you know who you are. Hugs and love and please don’t forget, love life++