Happy Friday,
How is everyone doing this fine Friday evening? What an amazingly beautiful day it was outside. The sky is clear, and you can simply step outside and be greeted by the surrounding of something beautiful. For me, I can walk out back and see that the lake is glistening with calm, if I walk out front, I can see the snow-covered mountains. It was a happy day.
I’m living my best life today. I have Molly snuggled up on my lap as I write this blog, I have a fire lit and of course, I had all my blinds open so wherever I went today in the house, I could see outside and enjoy this marvelous day. The only thing missing, you know it, John. He’s my better half, the one who completes me.
I was recently told by a woman who I completely admire and respect, that she feels like she’s reading a Harlequin Romance Novel when she reads my blog. All I can say is, thank you. She made, not only my day, but my week. I feel humbled and honored to have received such a compliment.
I saw this post on Serendipity Corner. I actually stumbled upon it, and you know me, I love to share things I see. The post said, “It took me a long time to realize that not everything in life is meant to be a beautiful story. Not every person we feel something deep and moving with, is meant to make a home within us, or is meant to be forever. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us how to love; and sometimes people come into our lives to teach us how to not love. How not to settle, how not to shrink ourselves ever again. Yes, sometimes people leave… but that’s okay, because their lessons always stay, and that is what matters. That is what remains…”-Bianca Sparacino
It’s funny, I was talking to someone this morning and she was sharing with me how one of her daughters’ friends is using her. Her daughter’s friend isn’t being truthful with her parents, so she’s using her friend as a cover to mislead her parents, however, my friend found the thread of text messages and found out what cruelty was actually being done to her daughter. She was angry, hurt and after she was able to vent, she came to the conclusion that she’s even more determined to keep encouraging her daughter to accept that it’s absolutely normal and okay to have crushes, even fall in love at a young age, but while those feelings are natural, that doesn’t mean you act on them, especially when you’re barely a teen. She’s also determined to make sure she always supports her girls and guides them through life so when they become adults, they’ll be able to leave the nest, more ready than she was.
This conversation brought up feelings in me, so I’ve reflected on my life today. While I don’t regret my life, how can I, after all, I have two amazing and wonderful biological sons that I wouldn’t trade for anything, and I have two more chosen sons and if I were to go back and change my life, I wouldn’t be able to say, I have 4 boys. With this being said, I would absolutely encourage any young girl to find out who she really is before taking the big step of marriage. I was barely 17 when I made that life decision. In the religion/cult I was raised in, 17 was not considered young. If you weren’t married by 18-19, you were thought of as weird. Would I do it again, yes, because that’s all I ever knew and if my life didn’t take the path I was led on at that time in my life, I can for sure tell you, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog. Not sure where I’d be, but it wouldn’t be here.
When I first left my ex, I was in a dark place. I was angry with God and in many ways, self-destructive. I didn’t care, but slowly and with the much love and support from my close friends and John, I began to see, my life wasn’t a mistake, it was simply a detour to getting here to my true self.
While not everything is meant to be a beautiful forever story or have an end with a happily ever after, I do believe, there is beauty in every story. “Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us how to love; and sometimes people come into our lives to teach us how not to love.” When I finally realized this, I was able to take my life and turn it into a lesson. I learned to appreciate the journey. I learned one of the most important lessons for myself, and that is, I deserve to be loved, kissed, held and cherished. That wasn’t possible in my first relationship, but it is possible with John.
When I’m with John, he looks at me and sees my soul. He feels my heart and makes his arms the safest place to be. Sometimes when I am feeling lost, all I have to do is ask him for a hug and he always hugs me and kisses me and tells me he loves me. I never have to wonder am I good enough. In John’s eyes, I hold the moon. John makes everything possible, because he believes in me, and when I fall, he’s already picking up the pieces and reassuring me that everything will be okay.
“She’s different now. She has peace in her heart instead of chaos. That’s how she saved herself. She became the peace, and she doesn’t accept anything less. It’s beautiful.”-Stephanie Bennett-Henry.
Being loved by someone who sees your flaws and still accepts you the way you are, that’s a gift, embrace it and carry on knowing, you can live life to your fullest potential and be truly happy with yourself. The hardest lesson I had to face was, learning to be by myself without any noise. Now, I can sit in my home without any background noise, such as the TV, radio or whatever and embrace the quiet. I don’t panic anymore. John taught me how to like myself enough to be okay with my own company.
“Sometimes people leave…but that’s okay, because their lessons always stay …” I know some of you are facing difficult decisions, maybe you fear the unknown, and boy, do I understand that, but with a mind shift of embracing the unknown, looking at it as an adventure, it’s helped me to accept things with much more ease.
John, he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Nobody has ever made me feel like I mattered, or, that my ideas and opinions were worth anything. Nobody has ever looked at me and seen my every flaw, inside and out and still loved me. Nobody has ever taken me in their arms and said I’m pretty, that is, until John came along. He always says it’s his goal for me to see myself through his eyes. Wonder if he knows that I see love and acceptance when he looks at me. Wonder if he sees my yearning desire to just be by his forever. Wonder if he knows just how much I adore him, love him, appreciate him and admire him?
“Kiss me softly but love me hard. Build with me but let down your guard. Whisper intimacy but scream desire. Don’t let me burn but fuel my fire. Fall with me but keep me steady. Hold my heart but set love free”-soul_spilled_sentiments.
Now that’s hot and sexy. That is my love with John. To be kissed by him, oh, he curls my toes. He builds me up and makes me want to be the best me ever, and when we’re together, oh, that’s the true definition of desire, cause’ he certainly fuels my fire. When I fall, he picks me up and he’s always there to hold me tight, keep me safe and ensure, I’m steady.
I’ll tell you all again, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy, and you were meant to be the best version of yourself. The path that we follow, well, if it’s hard, then maybe we need to reexamine it. If we keep falling, maybe the universe is telling us to take another look at the destination, who knows, maybe we’re on the wrong path.
Nobody can make you happy, nobody except the person staring back at you in the mirror. If you aren’t happy, you can’t contribute to another’s happiness. Take those roadblocks as lessons, love with everything you have, take chances and embrace you. Every story, every life, everyone, has beauty within, you just have to find it.
Make this weekend a special one. Take time to cuddle with that person you love, even if it’s just you. Love you. Embrace you. Do something that makes you happy. Read a book, draw, write, sing, dance, laugh, cry, call a friend, garden, maybe take a nature walk, whatever it is, be happy and enjoy the time, after all, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.
Don’t forget, Love Life++
Love Life with Dawna 