Emotions

Happy Friday,

How is everyone doing today? We are just a workday away from the weekend, yippee!!! So, do you have any big plans? I have a wedding tomorrow, and that’s my big plan for my weekend. It’s been a rough start to the New Year. I’m recovering from a kidney infection, but thank goodness for medications, without them, I’d be in a world of hot mess. I’m taking advantage of needing to lay low. I’ve been able to get a book read, some journaling done, and I even got to have breakfast with one of my besties. The only thing that makes me sad right now is, not being able to see John. I think this is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other. I miss him.

I was looking through some of my saved quotes and I ran across one on emotions and it seems fitting today, since I’m feel blue from missing John. I think not feeling 100% doesn’t help matters either, and it would have been my daddy’s birthday this week too and I miss him terribly. I am determined to get myself feeling better and hopefully I will get some time with John soon. We need a date night, just to be together so we can get lost in the many wonderful conversations we have.

“Hey, listen to your emotions….

Bitterness: shows you where you need to heal, where you’re still holding judgments on others and yourself.

Resentment: shows you where you’re living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is.

Discomfort: shows you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening, because you’re being given the opportunity to change, to do something different than you typically do it.

Anger: shows you what you’re passionate about, where your boundaries are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.

Disappointment: shows you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, that you still care.

Guilt: shows you that you’re still living life in other people’s expectations of what you should do.

Shame: shows you that you’re internalizing other people’s beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and that you need to reconnect with yourself.

Anxiety: shows you that you need to wake up, right now, and that you need to be present, that you’re stuck in the past and living in fear of the future.

Sadness: shows you the depth of your feeling, the depth of your care for others and this world.”- author unknown

I’m sure we’ve all felt all of these emotions at least once in our lives and I’m sure some of us experience them on a regular basis. I know a couple of people who suffer from anxiety and need medication to help them slow down their minds in order to think more clearly. I know a couple of people who experience anger on nearly a daily basis, finding something to be angry about just because they may subconsciously need to feel angry.

Emotions are a wonderful thing, yet they can be a harmful thing as well. While I’m no health expert of any kind, I do have emotions and I will admittedly say, they’ve gotten the best of me from time to time. This week for example, I’ve let myself feel disconnected and sad because I don’t feel well and my doctor said the meds, she had me on to start weren’t working, so I had to start a totally new round of meds. I felt frustrated by this because I am unable to do the things I want. I have felt sad this week too, because I miss John. Whenever I get a migraine or have something like this, I just want to cuddle up in his arms and fall asleep. I feel safe in his arms and it’s always my best sleep.

Emotions can get the best of us, and I suppose if we don’t check in on those emotions, they can overtake us and make us not so nice of a person. We can become so consumed and fixated on something that we get stuck, stuck in the yuck of certain feelings and we can, if we aren’t careful, get consumed with not so nice of an emotion.

It saddens me sometimes knowing that people I love are suffering in an emotion that they can’t get out of. Fear seems to be the one emotion that comes to mind when I talk to one person in particular. This person’s fear consumes their every thought, and in turn, it manifests in anger. When you try to support their feeling and validate them, they become even more insensitive and angry, then you get a phone call a few days, even weeks later, apologizing for bad behavior, and things are fine for a minute, then the cycle repeats itself. It’s exhausting, but when you love someone, when they are family, you learn to keep a safe distance, while still letting them know, you’re there for them. That can prove to be difficult too, especially when they live a state or two away.

I’ve come to realize, I can’t be responsible for their feelings and emotions, nor can anyone be responsible for mine. One thing we can do is become a positive in people’s lives. We can listen when they need an ear. We just have to sometimes, keep a distance. Boundaries.

Sadness seems to be the emotion that I’ve felt the most this week. It took me a moment to figure out why I felt so sad, then it hit me, I haven’t been able to be active. I’m on day 11 of bed rest, or in my case, recliner and couch rest. I’ve been in some pain, and, my dad is gone, and I miss him. He would have been 79 years old this week. Happy heavenly birthday daddy, I love you and I miss you every day.

I was allowing myself to be swallowed up with sadness, frustration and emptiness, instead of looking around at the things that make me happy, enjoying my phone calls with John and taking advantage of the time I’m being given to write. There’s something to be said for appreciating what you have, because sometimes all you need is right in front of you.

“Dear Brave One, you are not too emotional. ‘You are not too sensitive. Your heart is constantly at war with all of your emotions; each one fighting to be dominant. You feel the energies of others. You feel when they’re happy, sad, angry, fake, and truthful. You know when they’re using you and when they’re being genuine. You are not weak. You are gifted with the ability of heightened intuition. Your anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it’s a reminder that you have the gift of empathy. Not many possess this rare trait because it takes a special kind of individual to be a genuinely compassionate as you are. Your kindness is your strength, not our weakness. Own who you are. You are beautiful, brave soul.”-TheMindsJournal.

Emotions.

Good?

Bad?

I suppose they can be either. It’s all in how we accept them. Deal with them. Use them.

Do we allow our emotions to overtake us? Are we so consumed in our feelings that we miss out on the important things? Guess that’s something we all need to figure out within ourselves.

As far as my emotions, well, I usually wear my heart on my sleeve. I love with every fiber of my being. I hurt in silence and choose not to share that part of me, except on occasion, I just need to talk. I think deeply, and I cry in silence. I give unconditional love. I give my friends an open door, just call me, I’ll be there. I get hurt from time to time, and that’s okay, but when I’m no longer important in your world, I’ll simply, fade away in silence.

Emotions, they sure have a way of forcing us to take note of who we truly are, at least that’s what I think.

I do hope you all have the greatest of weekends and don’t forget, until next time, Love Life++