Happy Wednesday
How are you all doing this fine Wednesday evening? I hope you are all doing well, and I hope you are having a wonderful week. Any plans for the upcoming weekend? I have a couple of things I need to be at this weekend, so it’s going to be a bit busy, and that’s okay. I’m excited for my one event on Sunday, it’s for the local Woman’s Club and these ladies are so much fun. Anyway, these are my weekend plans, what are you all up to? Shoot me a text or drop me a comment and let me know, I love hearing from you.
I thought this evening I’d talk about closure; it seems to be something I’ve struggled with for a long time now. Even though I’ve moved on with my life and am happy and following my path, I still struggle with guilt. I came across this amazing quote, and it really made sense to me. “That person you think you need closure from can’t give it to you because they probably can’t tell the truth to themselves any more than they can to you. You have to live with the unknown and trust that all the answers you seek are inside of you. You don’t need closure to move on, closure is what happens when you move on.”-unknown.
It’s amazing when you sit and think about it, I mean, how many of us wait around for someone else to set us free from a guilt we are carrying or give us closure? “So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself.”-Neale Donald Walsh.
There you have it, as long as we give others control, we continue to swim, drown or wallow in the guilt and closure becomes almost impossible. Now I’m not saying it’s okay to intentionally go around and not give a hoot about what others think or their feelings, on the contrary, what I am saying is, we need to take our feelings and happiness into account too. If we aren’t happy with who we are, how in the heck can we make anyone else around us happy? We can’t live life trying to make the everyone else happy, because take it from this expert, when you live your life always putting yourself last, you break, and you lose yourself. You can’t even define who you are as a person, because who you are is who everyone else wants you to be.
I know for me; I wake up in the morning so grateful for my life now. I’m excited about all the new adventures I have planned out, and then something will hit me, and I feel guilty for being happy and living my life, knowing I chose myself over continuing in a negative and toxic relationship with my ex. I sometimes allow him to make me feel guilty for his unhappiness, then I’m reminded by such quotes from above, he could choose to be happy if he wanted to, he could choose to live life, and it’s not up to me to do it for him.
None of us can change another person and we should never want to, because when we do that, we are actually turning that person into someone different then who they truly are. I know when John and I got serious, he was in the habit of doing this one thing because he thought it would matter to me. When we talked about it and I told him I love him the way he is, he stopped and I truly believe, he’s become more confident in himself. This one thing he did was because his ex-made him feel self-conscious about himself. How sad, because with or without this thing, it doesn’t change who he is from the inside, a kind, loving and compassionate man. When I look at John, I see his amazing qualities and not something he does to change his appearance. I think he’s the sexiest man on the planet and I love him just the way he is.
I believe we seek closure from lots of things in our past, but things and people can’t be our closure, only we can. Accept the decisions we make and move on and if they aren’t the right choices, then change again. It’s all about learning and growing. When we learn and grow, we find a genuine happiness from within and we don’t need validation from others, though compliments are always a nice thing to get from time to time.
If we stay stuck in needing closure, it’s much like a book, if we never turn the page to the next chapter, we have no idea of what will happen, only speculation. I like to ask myself each day, what will today’s chapter look like and guess what, some days it’s a total surprise, and those surprises can be pretty amazing.
I’m officially closing the chapters to my past, they are simply memories, some good and some bad. It’s not up to anyone else to give me closure, it’s all on me, and that’s a good thing, I think it might just give me the power and nudge I need to continue growing. What are your thoughts? How do you think we as individuals get closure on something, or do we get true closure? Leave me a comment, I’d love to know what you think.
My buzzer is going off for my dinner, I think my pork chops are about done, so for now, I’ll say, have a great rest of your evening and until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++
Love Life with Dawna 