You Can Come Out Now

Happy St. Patrick’s Day,

How was your day? Got some shenanigans planned for tonight? If they’re PG rated, shoot me a text or leave me a comment, I’d love to hear from you. Today has been a nice day. Grant and I spent the day together and we got his room cleaned, then, we went to get some Easter decor and some lunch, then we came home and did a little crafting together. Oh, we took the pups to the puppy park. Overall, it was a really good day. Now tonight, John and I’ll be heading over to Costco and who knows, maybe I’ll even pull a few shenanigans on him. Whatever today brought you, I do hope it was all good and I hope even more, that your evening is as amazing as you are my dear friends.

Wanted to share a quote and it is dedicated to all you ladies out there that have been to hell and back. To you ladies that lost who you were meant to be, no matter what the reason is, or how you lost yourself, as long as you are finding strength in getting back to your even more amazing self, this is for you. To those that may still feel lost, I hope and pray that this will help give you the strength that is hidden in your soul to break those chains that confine you and don’t allow you to grow.

“I started calling that girl back…the one who loved living, who danced instead of walking. The girl who has sunflowers in her eyes and fireworks in her soul. I started playing music again, hoping she would come out. I looked for beautiful moments so she would feel safe enough to come out…because I knew she was in there-she just needed me to show her it was okay to be me again.”-inspired by SC Lourie.

Ladies, we all have baggage, we all, at one point in time, have put ourselves last on our take care of list. As women, we are generally nurtures, so it’s easy to get lost in putting our families, our jobs, our friends and other activities ahead of taking care of us. I’ve come to realize through my decisions in life, I never put me into the equation of what made me happy. During my long marriage, early on, I would express my opinion, say regarding furniture I like, and would be met with, “are you sure you like that? or it’s not my favorite, and even, I don’t like it.” It was easier to just give in then express that I really wanted something for my house. One day, I realized, when asked by a friend, “what made you happy,” and my answer was always, my kids. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change anything I did for them. What I would change is, I never showed my sons that their moms opinion mattered. I failed to show them that a wife can and should have wants that are met. I showed them weakness and for that, I failed them.

Now, in my life, I am growing as a person, finding my strength, and I hope they see that their mom is still the person that would move mountains for them, at the same time, I’m human.

When their dad and I first split up, Tommy shared something with my friend Leslie and while she never told me what it was, she did tell me that her reply to him was, “your mom got married when she was still a teenager, she was young and now that she’s older, she’s finally growing into her own. Your mom is not just your mom, she’s a woman, she’s human and it’s okay that she is finally figuring out what makes her happy.” Those words she expressed to my son meant the world to me, and I believe. though Tommy didn’t like hearing them, he’s accepting them. I know he wants me to be happy and I know he knows how much I love him. I also know that he struggles with not having me with his dad, and that’s okay, as long as we can have open communication, we’ll be okay.

I am, for the first time able to say, I am loving living. I am happy. Sure, I miss certain things from my past life, however, that life was simply one of existing, not living. I’m not so sure I showed myself it was okay for that girl who loved life to come out, or if it was really John giving me the strength by always encouraging me, but whatever it was, I’m forever grateful to finally be at peace. I have an amazing man that loves me just the way I am. He laughs with me, instead of at me. When I’m feeling lost or off, he encourages me to write. You see, this blog wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for John. He realized writing was my talent. I think it was because of the long letters and cards I would make him and send. Now, we have a home that gives me the space to create. I have quiet places where I can write, and the views are incredible.

John taught me to believe in myself, though that’s still a work in progress. He’s taught me that my opinion matters, and he wants to hear my thoughts, even if we end up agreeing to disagree. I’m finding my safe place and taking baby steps to emerge completely from the chains that bound me to fear of expression.

We all have that inner warrior within us, and I admire those ladies that display confidence, I hope to someday be just like you, confident, without hesitation and I hope that I can carry myself like my new friend Ann. This lady carries herself with the utmost confidence, at least that’s what I see in her.

Ladies, it’s time to show those little girls that are tucked deep inside of us, that it’s okay to come out and blossom into the amazing women God intended for us to be. As long as we have each other, we can get through any situation, together we are strong, we are beautiful, we are amazing, because we are women, and we were created to be in God’s image.

Well friends, I do hope the rest of your evening is the greatest and do me a favor, until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++