Life Turned Her That Way

Happy Friday,

It’s officially almost the weekend. How was your week? I hope it was a good one. Mine’s been pretty darn good. I was able to spend it with John and that always makes for a great week. We were able to go out with Art and Laura last night and we also did a little shopping and stopped over at John’s parents for a short visit, which was really nice. Today I get to spend a little time with John’s mom and sister celebrating a family friends birthday at Mimi’s. I don’t know Lois very well, so I hope she likes the bamboo plant I got her.

It’s funny, every day when I sit down to write, I always put on background noise, usually I open up Pandora or YouTube to just have calming music on. So, this entire week every day the first song that is on my suggestion list is Life Turned Her That Way, so I listen to it, then it goes on to a really nice play list. When I decided to write my blog this morning, of course, same routine and same song came up, so I figure, maybe the Universe is telling me to write about it, so that’s what I’m gonna do.

“If she seems cold and bitter, then I beg of you, just stop and consider all she’s gone through. Don’t be quick to condemn her, for things she might say, just remember, life turned her that way.”-Lyrics to Life Turned Her That Way. I think back to my life, growing up and being in a lonely marriage. I also think and wonder how I could of done things differently. One conclusion that I’ve come to over and over again is, I don’t think I would of changed my life. To have changed one thing would of meant that my sons wouldn’t be here and I cannot imagine my life without them. My life is a blessing, even with all the things that I’ve been through and continue to go through. I’m not saying things don’t get hard, cause they do, but I’m pretty lucky overall.

The song makes me stop and think though, I wish people wouldn’t condemn me so harshly, especially those that were my friends once upon a time. Just because I don’t believe the way you do anymore, that doesn’t make me a bad person. The chain of events in my life have opened doors and closed many more.

I do wonder what lesson there were for me to have been raised in a cult and why it took so long for me to wake up and leave. All I can think of is, I must not have been ready to walk away and I feel that since John’s come into my life, he’s helped me realize that I can write and I’m pretty good at it. My friend Jana told me once that she feels my writing helps people and I have a new friend, Carol who is always asking about my book. She reminds me all the time that God loves me and that he is using me to help others, or help someone through my gift of writing.

The hardest part is, ridding myself of the cold and bitter that I know I sometimes present with. I don’t mean to be that way, but sometimes, I have a wall up and it shows. There is someone in my life that has judged me the harshest degree and he has condemned me a time or two. I’ll leave out who it is, and no, it’s not John. Anyway, slowly he’s letting down his resentment towards me and that makes me happy. I think he’s finally seeing that just because I’ve changed in many ways, my core values are still the same. He’s slowly coming around and that makes my heart so happy.

“She’s been walked on, and stepped on, so many times, and I hate to admit it, but the last footprint’s mine.” The last footprint that put me over the top and helped me find the courage to walk away from a high controlling religion, isn’t who you think, it wasn’t my ex husband, it was a man that came into my life for a brief moment and left almost as fast. Having him come into my life and leave the way he did, was like being walked on. The last footprint was his, and though that was hurtful, I’m thankful for it because it lead me to John.

“She was cryin’ when I first met her. She cries harder today, so don’t blame her, life turned her that way. No, don’t blame her, life turner her that way.” When John and I first met, I think we were both hurting and crying, because we invested so much into someone else, who in time turned on us, but now, I’m happy to say, I’m glad life turned me this way. I have never had encouragment the way John encourages me. I don’t cry anymore. Sure, there are hard days when my mind overthinks and things race where I shut down, but that’s a battle I’ll always have. I’m happy now, because I have John, and I am able to write and learn from other writers that have come into my life.

My message to everyone, and mostly to myself in a nutshell is, until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes, it’s not fair to judge them. So many people in this world have to battle every day to just get through it, we don’t always know what they’ve been through. Treat others kindly, because it would be sad to be the last footprint that breaks them.

Well guys, I gotta get going. I hope you have the greatest of days and until next time, Love Life++