Happy Monday,
How is everyone doing today? How was your weekend? Anything exciting happen? Send me a text or message and let me know, because I love hearing from each and everyone of you. I had a wonderful Saturday. John, Tate and I went to the farmers market in Poway with John’s parents, then, John took me out for the most romantic dinner I’ve ever had. We went to the Melting Pot down in Gaslamp. John made sure everything was beyond perfect. We got a tiny little booth in the corner of the restaurant. We had rose petals on the table, a dozen red roses and champagne that we were able to switch out for two Ying and Yang martini’s. All I can say about those drinks, is YUMMY!!! I think it’s my new favorite drink. After dinner John and I walked for awhile. It was nice just holding his hand, talking and enjoying each other, and seeing all the fun place we might someday get to go visit. I also had fun people watching. It was a perfect evening out, with the most perfect man, and for the first time in my entire life, I knew what it felt like to be treated like a queen.
It’s funny, before going out on Saturday evening, I was home listening to some music and a song came on by Luke Combs that I don’t believe I’ve ever heard. “Forever after all.” I’ve listened to this song several times since I first heard it, I even watched the video that was simply amazing. The brides dress was simply stunning. There was so much laughter and playing between the bride and groom. You could see the love they have for each other. Parts of the video were actually taken from Luke Combs wedding. At the beginning of the video, there was a little girls voice asking her grandpa, “are fairytales real?” This made me think of my grandpa. I lost him on January 1, 1987. He was my world and someone that I loved and cherished in my life. Being from a broken family, and not knowing where my daddy was, it was my grandpa that I wanted to walk me down the isle when I got married.
Grandpa was alive when I got married, but he was too sick to be able to give me away and Mother wouldn’t hear of it anyway. She expected me to have her husband give me away, so when it came to planning a wedding and her and her husband telling me if I wanted to get married, I’d have to pay for it entirely on my own, it made it that much easier to just go to Vegas and get married. Mother was delighted we chose that and she never even asked to go along to see me get married, which was my biggest relief, because she couldn’t force me to have her husband give me away. The day I got married, it was so opposite of everything I dreamed of. I wanted the fairytale wedding, and I wanted to wear that white wedding dress that I had forever imagined, but that wasn’t in the cards for me.
I remember growing up and knowing I wasn’t wanted by Mother or her husband, but I always had my grandpa, he and my Aunt Billie were my safe place. Listening to “Forever after all,” brought back the memories I had as a little girl, the memories of what my fairytale wedding would of been like. I did dream of having the grandest party ever. I think what I imagined was a reception like my cousin Sherrie had. She was such a beautiful bride and her reception was a party like I’ve never seen. I remember the dancing and the laughter that day. I don’t remember too much about the wedding itself or the food, but I do remember the fun everyone was having that day.
When I think back about the way I got married, I was okay with not having a wedding, but I wanted oh so bad to have the wedding dress. I wanted my dress to have small sleeves, ones that draped off the shoulder. I wanted the small sleeve to be made to look like small roses on a vine. I wanted the small flowers to flow from my shoulders, over the breast, down the middle toward my tummy and then around my waist. I wanted the flowers to be few on my dress, but enough for the faint effects of detail. I wanted a low cut V-line neck, but not too low. I wanted my dress to be form fitting around the waist with a gradual flair as it descended to my feet. I wanted a small train, no veil, and my hair pulled back with sprigs of babies breath. I wanted to carry white roses in my bouquet, with a couple white tulips. I longed to wear the wedding dress of my dreams, but that never happened.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever wear a wedding dress, but I’ll always have my dream. I think that’s why I was totally okay paying for my son’s wedding. I wanted to give him everything he and his beautiful bride ever wanted. Their wedding was right out of a fairytale book. Their wedding was everything they wanted and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I know they have a love that can last forever.
“You can only get so much until it’s gone…..when the new wears of, and it’s getting old, sooner or later, time’s gonna take it’s toll. They say nothing last forever, but they ain’t see us together, or the way the moonlight dances in your eyes.” The way Tommy looks at Katie, they have forever in their eyes. The way John looks at me, I see forever in his eyes. Forever is when you can’t imagine life without the person whose gazing into your eyes right before that perfect kiss, or as you make love. Those are the fairytale moments that make every girls fantasy come true. The fantasy little girls have from the time they comprehend what a wedding is.
I think for most girls, what they want, is to walk down the isle, wearing the dress that makes them feel like a princess. I think we all dream of what the perfect wedding dress will look like on us the day that we are to marry the man of our dreams. I think we all want to feel that special feeling in our lives, being the bride, wearing that most spectacular dress. We dream of the double doors opening to the church and seeing our man at the alter. He is blown away at how that dress holds the woman he is about to share his life with, the woman he will say I do with, the woman that stands out from everyone else on that special day. “Other things that I could look at my whole life, a love like that makes a man have second thoughts, maybe some things last forever, after all, they say nothing last forever, but they ain’t see us together.” Forever seems possible with John. I can’t imagine anyone else to walk next to me through this life. “Be with me, walk beside me, hold my hand, and love me, forever and always.”-Nams.
Weddings are beautiful, but the dress, the dress is where the fairytale begins. It begins way back when that women you see walking down the isle was a little girl dreaming of her fairytale wedding, her prince, or knight in shinning armor, and the dress she would wear on their wedding day. My prince has arrived and “I know there’ll be that moment the good Lord calls one of us home and one won’t have the other by their side, but heaven knows that that won’t last too long. Maybe some things last forever, after-all.”
My dream began with a vision of my wedding dress and though I never got to wear that dress, my prince has shown up and made me his queen. My prince has given me more moments in this lifetime where my fairytale dreams have come true. I can’t wait to share forever, with the most incredible man I’ve ever come to know. I will always have the dream of what that perfect dress would look like, and I’ll forever have that special look, every time John looks into my eyes and sees forever.
What did your wedding dress look like? What does your fairytale dress look like? Remember this, weddings are beautiful, but the dress, that’s where the story began and the story ends with an I Do and a forever with the one you love by your side. Choose wisely, choose someone that cherishes you and sees your beauty from the inside out, rather than from the outside in. I hope your love will last forever. I hope you get to wear your wedding dress, and for now, don’t forget, Love Life++
Love Life with Dawna 