Ephesians 5

Happy Wednesday,

How is everyone doing this fine Wednesday afternoon? I hope all is well with everyone. I know some of you have been pretty busy with family and kiddos, and I love that you share with me your photos and comments. It brightens all my days hearing from everyone. All is well here. Woke up a little queasy this morning, but as the day has gone on, I’m feeling so much better. At first I thought it was residual from the Covid vaccine, but I actually think now, it was probably the tacos we had from Rubio’s last night. Oh, before I forget, I wanted to take a moment too to thank everyone that sent me comments about my Aunt Billie post. My heart was so warmed by the loving comments I received. I hope it’s okay with everyone that I shared some of your comments with her? Aunt Billie was so touched and she then melted my heart by asking me to print and frame the Aunt Billie blog. She has a birthday coming up in another week and I think that would be the perfect gift. She sounded good today too, so that meant everything to me.

Today, I wanted to talk about the topic of headship as talked about in Ephesians 5:21-33. You see, last night, I was talking with a dear friend and she was telling me about her ex husband and how he so desperately wants her back, however, his actions still are present, the same actions that caused her to lose trust in him and thereby, causing them to split up. My friend was also talking to me about her faith that is still very strong within the JW religion, and how her ex, who isn’t or has never been part of the religion now wants to study the upcoming three weeks of Watchtower that are based upon headship. The articles that will begin this upcoming Sunday start out with, “The head of every man is the Christ.” Week two is, “the head of a woman is the man,” and finally, week three is, “understanding headship in the congregation.” He told her that he feels if he understands headship better, then their marriage would have a chance of reconciliation. He told her that he needs to totally understand what God expects of him as her head. Well, I think that sort of turned her off right there. Using the term, “her head,” turned her tummy a bit.

While I do understand the whole headship principal, those roles generally, I feel come easy within a family where the husband and wife have deep respect for each other. Men and women are made up so entirely different than one another and I believe our creator made us to compliment each other. Each of us in any relationship are equal, yet we bring distinct roles to the relationship and hopefully, we complete one another. For me, I was raised in a very religious environment, I suppose you could say, I was raised in an extreme environment. Mother always taught me that as a girl, when I got married, I was to surrender myself completely to my husband. He would be my head and I would have deep respect for him and his words were the final say in my marriage. Gosh, I wish I could go back and say, HECK NO!! I mean, I am all about the love and support of my husband, or partner, just never again at the expense of giving up my thinking abilities. I wanted to be his partner, not his slave, not his doormat. My opinion should of mattered. Communication should of been our foundation, instead of headship.

One thing that I’ve come to truly appreciate about the scripture at Ephesians 5:21-33 where it outlines the model for a marriage, is that the New World Translation, the JW Bible emphasizes verse 22, “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife, just as the Christ is head of the congregation” and they do say that a husband should love his wife as his own body, yet the JW’s make sure as women, we know our roles as being a submissive wife. Sadly, many women within the cult fear their husbands. I was one that didn’t know that it was okay to want and need my husband to love me. I didn’t have a voice within my own world. I would avoid arguments simply by agreeing with things, even if I new it was the wrong path. I failed to embrace the scriptures’ that followed “let wives be in subjection to their husbands.” You see, verse 28 goes onto say, in the Message Bible (One I never heard of before), “husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the Church-a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor-since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage.”

Beautiful isn’t it? Our creator wanted wives to have their fairytale love story and he gave us the tools for obtaining it. Husbands cherish their wives, which creates the perfect cycle of wives respecting her husband. We put in motion what God intended, a partnership in complimenting each other. A wife supports and respects her husband and he in turn, isn’t domineering. Instead, he cherishes her. Jesus never led the church out of dominance, but he was a servant leader. As John says, a marriage is a partnership and we aren’t living in old times where women are suppressed. A man leaves his mother and father and becomes one with his wife, his partner.

Husbands who go all out in love for his wife will gain her respect. When a man loves a woman and makes her feel whole, beautiful and treasured he brings out the best in her, and she in turn, brings out the best in him. The book of Ephesians in some churches teaches that a woman is to be submissive to her husband, however, in reality, the book isn’t about teaching male dominance over his wife, it’s teaching how husband and wives complement each other.

I read a quote this morning on how as a man, you can keep your woman, that is, if she truly loves you. “Love her like she is the only girl your eyes see. Respect her like you would want any man to respect your daughter. Kiss her like her lips were your salvation. Talk to her as if words were the healing to her heart. Fuck her like it was the last time your bodies could touch. Lastly, never, ever, let her down, prove to her that you are not everyone else.”-therelatablepage.com.

Now I am most definitely not about women treating men as slaves, whining over everything to get their way, treating their men as though they owe them something. I am simply about, treating each other with love, kindness, understanding and compassion. Relationships are partnerships and nobody should ever be made to feel as though they don’t matter or that they matter less in the relationship. I tried to explain my feelings many times over to my ex husband and for some reason, he didn’t get it, or maybe, he just didn’t want to accept that I was his partner and that I mattered too.

John always says, the greatest relationships are between two givers because when you have a giver and a taker, the giver will generally burn out and the taker is never happy. You can’t give enough, thereby, causing a collapse in the relationship. Men are pretty simple creatures, and so are women. We simply want to be loved, valued and appreciated. I love you, in my opinion, are three of the strongest and most binding words you can say to someone.

My advice to anyone trying to get her back, is, “if you miss her, tell her. Don’t let too much time pass. Tell her what you feel. Let her know how much she means to you. It’s not so complicated, but it is you who makes it complicated. Don’t overthink it. That may cause you more harm than good. If you miss her, love her, want her, then tell her. Be honest with her. That’s all it’ll take to open her heart, to make her want to stay.”-r.m.drake. At the end of the day, I think we as women, we just want to know we matter. We want to know we are loved and that we have your heart like you have ours. We aren’t all that complicated, we just sometimes don’t know how to tell you that we want to be held close in your arms and cherished and told you love us.

The book of Ephesians may have been written a long time ago, but, the principle still applies on how a man is supposed to treat his wife and how a wife will develop a deep respect for her husband. When we really take the time to read through books in the Bible such as these, we give our relationships the ability to flourish and sustain itself, even when there are difficulties. We all have a vital role within our families and if we accept those roles and embrace what we have to offer to each other, I believe more families just might stay together. Let’s get rid of the domineering headship that some churches teach and adhere to the true meaning of the scriptures and learn to love each other unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

Well my dear family and friends, I hope you are having the greatest of days. Stay safe and please keep your comments coming my way. I love hearing from you all. Until next time, don’t forget, Love Life++