Goodbye’s

Happy Wednesday,

How is everyone doing this fine Wednesday afternoon? I do hope everyone is well and staying safe and sound. I have been enjoying my Cricut machine and I finally finished my vision board. Now to add my dream ideas to it. I attached a photo of what my little vision board looks like. What do you think? Not bad for my first go at making a board. It makes me happy the colors and I love the ribbon in bright yellow. John picked that out and I think it brightens the space nicely. What do you think? I’m excited to print my ideas out and put them up to remind me of the journey I’m on and where I hope to end up, that is if the Universe sees fit for me to be there. If not, that’s okay too. The vision board can be adjusted.

I wanted to write about saying goodbye today. I heard a song the other day that got me to thinking. It was a song I never heard before, but it really touched me. It’s called “Goodbye, by Kenny Rogers.” The song is talking about a relationship break up, I get that, but I’ve listened to it a few times over the last couple of days and I think I am able to apply it to more then just a relationship between a couples break up, or at least parts of it anyway. Saying goodbye in any type of relationship can be hard. A friend of mine pointed out the other day all the goodbye’s I’ve had to make over the last couple of years. Not sure why she pointed this out, but she did and it has got me to thinking, she’s right. I have lost or at least had to say goodbye to so many people. I suppose that might be why I have been feeling this shift within the universe lately. Goodbyes followed by unknown new beginnings could possibly sum up what I’ve been feeling.

“I wanted you for life, you and me in the wind. I never thought there would come a time that our story would end. It’s hard to understand, but I guess I’ll have to try. It’s not easy to say goodbye.” Isn’t it crazy how when we enter a relationship, whatever type of relationship that might be, we enter thinking it will go on forever. You make a friend at school, you aren’t thinking it’s short term. When you start a new job in the career you want, you don’t think it’s only for awhile, then you’ll move to the next company. When you enter a relationship with someone, you fall in love, you don’t think it’ll end. You picture your life with them forever, then one day, it’s over and it’s gone. You grow up never thinking about what it would look like to wake up tomorrow and not have the opportunity to call your dad, but you can’t cause he’s gone, he passed away. How many times have you reached for the phone to call that someone you couldn’t imagine not being in your life only to realize, they are gone?

I was sitting here reflecting on some of the friends I’ve had over the years and I still can’t imagine why it ended. Some I miss more then others, but either way, they aren’t in my life anymore. “It’s not easy to say goodbye.” I knew the consequences of leaving Watchtower. I knew people would shun me and walk out of my life without giving it a second thought. I knew I’d be tossed out in the same sense they take out the garbage. I wonder why it affects me more then them? “I remember all those great times we had, so many memories, some good, some bad.” How do we find a place in our lives to simply disregard people we held close to our hearts? How is it that a mother can have a child, raise him/her and just cut them off, simply because they don’t agree with their life choices? How can a child who once held their mother or father in high regard, not even give two cents about that parent? Why and how is it that some people have turned their hearts to ice and don’t give a damn anymore? Makes me wonder if they ever really did, or was I just a thought that vanished when I woke up and challenged myself to becoming a better, more real person?

What have I missed in this life that I still can’t understand disregarding someone as though they never existed? The thought chills me to the bone, the very core of my soul. “Don’t regret knowing the people who come into your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. The worst ones give you lessons, and the best people give you memories.”-unknown. I love this quote. It’s not easy to keep focused on the positive within it, but it does make it easier putting those that chose to shun me into the category of, they have taught me how I hope I never treat anyone in my life. Yesterday, John and I went for a walk and ran into a neighbor. This same person who I asked just last week if I had done anything to offend her or make her upset with me. I asked her because she has seemed rather distant with me the last couple of weeks. I gave her an open forum to tell me. She replied with “absolutely not and that life is just busy.” Totally get it, totally understand it. Well yesterday, she was across the street and basically saw us and without giving too many details, she ghosted us. I will still give her the benefit of the doubt that she is busy, maybe she got a phone call and had to turn back towards home. If though, she is choosing to just not wanting to be my neighbor friend, then, honesty would be so much better. I think what she did yesterday hit a nerve because I have been shunned by those of the religion I left.

Goodbye’s are never easy. Sometimes they become necessary. Sometimes they just have to happen and sometimes, they happen and even if we wanted them back in our life, we couldn’t have them because they passed away from this life. For me, I play in my mind, when someone isn’t in my life anymore, what could I have done different? Did I say or do something to hurt their feelings? Why didn’t I make that one last phone call to just say I love you before they left this life? I think for me the greatest thing I can take away from so much loss is that wonderful quote that says, “don’t wait for tomorrow, it can be one day too late.”-unknown.

Goodbyes are sadly, a part of this life. Sometimes letting go opens the door to something more beautiful then we ever thought possible. I don’t know if goodbyes are ever easy, so I suppose, we just have to figure out a way to cope. For me, I’m working on staying in the present and not looking back to the past. I look forward to the future and can’t wait to see who will come into my life. Will they come and teach me a lesson? Maybe they’ll be apart of it till the end, but whatever the reason, I’ll treasure it and enjoy the journey. I hope to bring something positive to their lives because I know they’ll bring something positive to mine. I will be grateful for them whether they’re in my life for a time or a season. I’ll think of myself as lucky to have them as my friend. I’ll appreciate the amazing things they bring to our relationship, I’ll cherish the good times and forget should there be any bad times. Should we have to say goodbye, it won’t be easy, but we can wish each other well and close the door to this chapter and open a new door, to, not something better, but to something just as amazing for our own personal growth. The door that opens will keep us on our path to being the best we can possibly be. Life is a journey, even with goodbyes. All we can do is, embrace the challenges, appreciate those in our worlds and find the best possible way to, Love Life+++