Why Judge?

Happy Saturday everyone,

How is your weekend going so far? Any fun plans for tomorrow? Did you do anything fun and exciting today? Today was a lay low kinda day. I did work on a sampler and finished it, well, finished the top but I need to finish putting on a back. Feeling accomplished. I am trying to stick to my goal of finishing one project at a time. Weekend plans for me, finish the backing on my sampler and then work on another art project. I have a diamond dotz I really want to get started. It’s for my brother and I’d like to get it done and framed so I can get it to him for his birthday in April.

I was thinking today about judgement. You see, judgement and talk can hurt more then being physically hit. “People don’t realize how badly verbal harassment and cyber bullying affects you. I wish they had hit me in the face and gotten it over with, because what they said to me, sticks to me this day. It affected me into the person that I am today.”-Demi Lavato. This made me stop and think about just how powerful words are. I know I’ve been affected by the things people have said about me. I’ve been affected by the assumptions made about me and I know, I’ve affected someone in my life by words that may not have been kind or that may have been something I assumed about them or their situation. Knowing that certain things said to someone or about someone could in some way mold someone into who they are, that’s pretty powerful. Words have power, lasting power.

I know from experience that I have always coward down from people because of the way I was raised. I was raised to not have an opinion. I was raised to think I didn’t matter. I’m sure that is solely my assumption, however, never being reassured that I was worthy, or important or even pretty in the eyes of my mother, well, that carried over into my adulthood. I lack self esteem. I think that’s why in so many ways, I felt it is so important to tell my children they are worthy, they are important, I love them and no matter what, they can never do anything to change my love for them. With that being said, I think, if we are made to feel worthy and loved unconditionally as children, then as we grow into adulthood, we can develop into strong individuals who treat others with kindness and we won’t be so apt to judge or even talk in a negative way about others. “Judging a person does not define who they are…. it defines who you are.”-unknown.

When we talk or judge others, we are talking from our own insecurities and dislikes about ourselves. “Don’t allow other people’s opinions and judgements to control the direction of your life. The need to fit in and feel wanted can cause you to travel down the paths you don’t want travel. People pleasing is a curse that should be avoided at all costs.”-Shalonda Fielder. I suppose for me, I haven’t totally let go yet of the unkind things and the drama that I somehow allowed myself to be put in. Like Donald is always saying to me, when will it finally be enough? Told you he is one that doesn’t let me get away with too much self pity. He loves me and kicks me in the booty. He’s right, not only do you not want to judge and talk about others, you don’t want to put yourself in situations that allows others to take liberties and talk about you. The judging and talk has come to the point that it is taking a toll on, not only my mental health, but my physical health.

Without pointing fingers, cause you know for the one you are pointing, you have three pointing back at you, I feel we are all to blame to a certain level. I also feel that sometimes, even when you say things, as innocent as your words were meant to be, some people feel the need to talk, and at the end of the day, things are blown so out of proportion. This leads to judgement of others. In my opinion, taking about others and judging go hand in hand. If we are feeling the need to talk about others in a negative way, we are opening the door for that person to be judged by those listening to our idle chit chat. According to tinybudha.com, “in most cases we judge others in order to feel better about ourselves, because we are lacking self-acceptance and self love…if we could all learn to love ourselves, we would make our world a much more compassionate and much less judgmental place.”

I know what it feels like to be judged, talked about and even lied about. You see, even when things are half truth, they are a lie. When things are taken totally out of context, that is a lie. If we are altering the truth, it is no longer truth, especially when it causes harm and hurt and for that reason, I am making it my goal to not say anything about anyone in any negative way or in any way that could be turned to a negative. It’s not my place to talk about anyone. I know none of us intentionally talk about others with the mind set to cause them to be judged or hurt, but it seems that by saying even the littlest things about someone, it could cause lasting damage to them. I want to work on being a more positive person and I want to work on fixing my own issues before pointing out anyone else’s, which for me, I have many issues that will take forever for me to fix, so talking about others won’t be happening any time soon. Matthew 7:3, 4 says, “why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eyes?” Wisdom from above handed down for us to do what we will with it. What will you do? I know what I’m going to do. Maybe we can lovingly help each other to talk and judge others a little less. As family and friends, I think it can start with us and we can ask ourselves, why judge?

I do hope you all had a wonderful and safe day. I miss you all and I am so thankful for your love and support on this journey of life. Keep your comments coming and don’t forget, you are loved, you are worthy and Love Life++